Post by asp on Aug 20, 2011 3:59:55 GMT -4
The scene opens with ASP in a mid-sized car, being driven to a destination. ASP has his hair pulled back, he’s wearing a pair of dark shades, and is admiring the view from the car. ASP is sitting next to a publicist woman who is wearing a blue knee-high skirt, and a matching sport coat. She has the side of her head resting against the window, looking bored out of her mind. ASP looks at her, having a apologetic look on his face.
ASP: I’m sorry miss, I cannot take care of that for you.
The publicist looks at him, confused.
Publicist: What do you mean? Take care of what for me?
ASP: I’ve noticed it has gotten hot in the car. I am aware of what happens when a woman gets aroused. I’m guessing it’s your Princess Sophia.
The publicist looks at him, shocked, and disgusted. She rolls her eyes and talks strict with him.
Publicist: You asked the driver to turn the heater on five minutes ago, which by the way, does not make any sense, seeing as it’s not even fall yet. So before you think that you are some sort of Johnny Bravo, try to think of other scenarios of why the car is hot. Plus, try and focus on what is important, I’ve been told to tell you that you’ve been scheduled your first match.
ASP: A match? Against whom?
Publicist: Don’t worry about it, it’s a cake walk…
ASP: Cake walk…? And I thought some other promotions had some dumb ideas for gimmick matches. How do I win the cake walk?
The publicist still seems annoyed with ASP, she decides not to inform him of the figure of speech, and just humors him.
Publicist: You win with pin or submission, simple as that. The winner of the match gets one more point in their win column for their win/lose ratio. Any other questions?
ASP: Yes, what’s his name?
Publicist: Oh, that’s not important…
The publicist looks away at him, looking as if she hopes he does not push the subject… ASP does though.
ASP: How un-important is it? If it’s not that important, you would have just told me. Sometimes people say it’s not important, just because the person doesn’t want to say it, even though it is important. So, either way, I want you to tell me, before I make the driver make it hotter in here.
Publicist: Oh, just some guy named John.
ASP moves himself closer to her, giving her the evil eye.
ASP: John who?
The publicist begins acting like a little school girl, and starts twirling her hair around a finger.
Publicist: Oh, John D.
ASP: John D? I’m facing John Dear? Just tell me, who is it? You’re here to make my life easier, you’re not really doing your job.
The publicist turns to him, with an apologetic look.
Publicist: Sorry sir, His name is John Dangerous, stage name, Mr. Dangerous
ASP’s face turns white, he remains motionless. The publicist tries to comfort him.
Publicist: Oh I’m so sorry sir, let me just assure you, not everything is in a name. My boss warned me you tend to take things too literal. Sir, just let me promise you, you are in no real danger!
ASP looks down at her, with a serious look. He speaks in a low voice.
ASP: No real danger? People brag about having the middle name danger, this man’s last name is Danger..ous! I really don’t see how you don’t think he’s dangerous.
Publicist: Because, I don’t take things as literal as you do ASP. Unlike you, I’ve seen some of Mr. Dangerous’s matches. Most of which don’t even end up on TV.
ASP: So, what you’re telling me is that it’s even worse than I believed? No one knows what kind of skills he has? I’m going into a battlefield, blindfolded?
The publicist looks exhausted from trying to explain the situation to ASP. She takes a deep breath and tries to continue.
Publicist: What I’m saying is, you have nothing, by nothing, I mean, nothing, to worry about. It’ll be a cake… It will be a breeze.
ASP gets even more worried.
ASP: Great! Now I have to worry about weather! Driver! Give me the weather forecast for the next week, I shall be prepared!
The publicist rests her head against the window again, feeling like she is fighting a losing battle against her boss. ASP continues his investigation on Mr. Dangerous.
ASP: Okay, so you mentioned breezes, does this Mr. Dangerous have powers? Is he like Storm from the X-Men comics, or more like the X-Men movies?
The publicist lets out a sigh, but decides to continue indulging ASP.
Publicist: Sorry sir, but I really have no clue what the differences are between the comics and the movies.
ASP: In the movies Storm is played by a lady who has different sized breasts. But the comic book character’s breasts are perfect.
Publicist: Well, let me assure you, MISTER Dangerous does not have breasts. I believe he has his weight under control. And no, Mr. Dangerous does not have any sort of powers, except being able to do the job quite a lot.
ASP: Job? He gets the job done? And I suppose I’m next on the to-do list in his eyes.
Publicist: I suppose in a matter of speaking he gets the job done… Perhaps you’re taking it another way though.
ASP: Well let me assure you, he wont get the job done with me in the ring!
Publicist: Well sir, it’s just a matter of how you’re thinking of the word “job”… Some will be expecting him to, as you call it, get the job done.
ASP: I promise you all, he wont get the job done.
Publicist: I wouldn’t promise such things until you find out what the wrestling definition of that word means, would you just listen for ten seconds and let me explain?
ASP nods, and the publicist begins to explain.
Publicist: When somebody takes the job in wrestling, it means they purposely had to lose to make the other wrestler look good.
ASP gets a look on his face showing his excitement, and then looks a little embarrassed.
ASP: So, what you’re saying is there is a chance I’ll win?
Publicist: Yes sir, you “might” win…
ASP: Wow, after all this time, someone finally decides to explain to me what that means. All this time, I’ve been saying there’s no way they’ll get the job done, and it just meant they wanted me to win. Ha! But then again…
ASP begins looking nervous again.
ASP: It might all be a trick, after all, if he really is dangerous, he’s a master of mind games. Some of the most dangerous people are also the most patient. He is picking his mark, this is all a game to him!
Publicist: I really think you are over reacting about his name sir.
ASP: Nonsense! Some of the best competitors try to figure out their competition. Everything is pointing at Mr. Dangerous being just that, dangerous. First of all, his name just gives it all away. Not to mention only a handful of men have been able to defeat him.
Publicist: That’s because only a handful of men have faced him sir. Okay, I have an idea…
The publicist reaches behind the seats, and pulls out a carry-on type bag, she opens the bag and rummages through it. She pulls out a Kindle.
Publicist: You want to read your Kindle? You yourself have talked about how amazing it is. If you don’t find a book you like on it, you can download one in less than sixty seconds. Doesn’t that sound fun? And look, it even has a speech function on it!
ASP: No, don’t!
The publicist turns the speech function on the Kindle, and an Apple type voice begins speaking.
Kindle Voice: And how great it felt, the heat between the two bodies as Dante ravaged her body with his hard member…
ASP quickly grabs the Kindle from the publicist and turns it off.
ASP: My wife… Yes, my wife was using my Kindle. She just likes to get ideas. I sometimes read it too, to get ideas of course. It has really made things exciting!
ASP begins shaking his head in disgust.
Publicist: What is it sir? Did I do something?
ASP: No, you really helped me out. I’m realizing now that wrestlers with scary names aren’t the most dangerous things around… It’s publicists that don’t ask permission to use my Kindle! Next time, ask. But I must say, having this revelation has encouraged me to send out a message to this Mr. Dangerous. John, You and I are going to be seen around the world.
Publicist: You wont, it’s a dark match.
ASP quickly corrects his statement.
ASP: Mr. Dangerous, You and I are going to be seen by a couple thousand people, and that still excites me. To me, this is a big night for me. My first match in a new business, the foundation in which every wrestlers career is built on. I have to show everyone that I am willing to get the job done, in a positive outlook. I watched this past weeks Over Drive, and I can tell that I am about to enter into a very intense storm, and I am only armed with, well, myself. It is another journey that every wrestler must endure to have a name for themselves. Mr. Dangerous, you have entered that journey, I don’t know what it has done to you, and I’m not entirely sure what the journey will do to me. But I am ready for it. I am ready for you, and I hope you are ready for me, in fact, I hope everyone is ready for me. I know I must sound like Jerry Springer. An entire hour of… Whatever the topic of the show was, and then ending with a very serious final thought, but this is who I am. Distractive, unpredictable, a chick magnet. But this is who I am, and I have stated once before that I will not change to simply be acceptable for others. What does matter is my performance in the ring. I promise, I will not disappoint in that department. I may be in an unrecorded portion of the show, but this is the process in which every wrestler should go through. I’m not going to demand any sort of special treatment when I haven’t proved what I am worth yet. I will never be accused of politicking backstage, refusing to wrestle if I don’t win the match. What I’m trying to say is, I wont act like Biggs.
The publicist gives him a “Don’t say that” look
Publicist: Way to make enemies sir.
ASP: I couldn’t resist… I don’t even know if the accusations are true or not.
Publicist: I wouldn’t be surprised now if you don’t even make it into the building… We’ll see though, we’re at the place.
The scene fades to black as we see ASP and his publicist looking our the driver side window.
ASP: I’m sorry miss, I cannot take care of that for you.
The publicist looks at him, confused.
Publicist: What do you mean? Take care of what for me?
ASP: I’ve noticed it has gotten hot in the car. I am aware of what happens when a woman gets aroused. I’m guessing it’s your Princess Sophia.
The publicist looks at him, shocked, and disgusted. She rolls her eyes and talks strict with him.
Publicist: You asked the driver to turn the heater on five minutes ago, which by the way, does not make any sense, seeing as it’s not even fall yet. So before you think that you are some sort of Johnny Bravo, try to think of other scenarios of why the car is hot. Plus, try and focus on what is important, I’ve been told to tell you that you’ve been scheduled your first match.
ASP: A match? Against whom?
Publicist: Don’t worry about it, it’s a cake walk…
ASP: Cake walk…? And I thought some other promotions had some dumb ideas for gimmick matches. How do I win the cake walk?
The publicist still seems annoyed with ASP, she decides not to inform him of the figure of speech, and just humors him.
Publicist: You win with pin or submission, simple as that. The winner of the match gets one more point in their win column for their win/lose ratio. Any other questions?
ASP: Yes, what’s his name?
Publicist: Oh, that’s not important…
The publicist looks away at him, looking as if she hopes he does not push the subject… ASP does though.
ASP: How un-important is it? If it’s not that important, you would have just told me. Sometimes people say it’s not important, just because the person doesn’t want to say it, even though it is important. So, either way, I want you to tell me, before I make the driver make it hotter in here.
Publicist: Oh, just some guy named John.
ASP moves himself closer to her, giving her the evil eye.
ASP: John who?
The publicist begins acting like a little school girl, and starts twirling her hair around a finger.
Publicist: Oh, John D.
ASP: John D? I’m facing John Dear? Just tell me, who is it? You’re here to make my life easier, you’re not really doing your job.
The publicist turns to him, with an apologetic look.
Publicist: Sorry sir, His name is John Dangerous, stage name, Mr. Dangerous
ASP’s face turns white, he remains motionless. The publicist tries to comfort him.
Publicist: Oh I’m so sorry sir, let me just assure you, not everything is in a name. My boss warned me you tend to take things too literal. Sir, just let me promise you, you are in no real danger!
ASP looks down at her, with a serious look. He speaks in a low voice.
ASP: No real danger? People brag about having the middle name danger, this man’s last name is Danger..ous! I really don’t see how you don’t think he’s dangerous.
Publicist: Because, I don’t take things as literal as you do ASP. Unlike you, I’ve seen some of Mr. Dangerous’s matches. Most of which don’t even end up on TV.
ASP: So, what you’re telling me is that it’s even worse than I believed? No one knows what kind of skills he has? I’m going into a battlefield, blindfolded?
The publicist looks exhausted from trying to explain the situation to ASP. She takes a deep breath and tries to continue.
Publicist: What I’m saying is, you have nothing, by nothing, I mean, nothing, to worry about. It’ll be a cake… It will be a breeze.
ASP gets even more worried.
ASP: Great! Now I have to worry about weather! Driver! Give me the weather forecast for the next week, I shall be prepared!
The publicist rests her head against the window again, feeling like she is fighting a losing battle against her boss. ASP continues his investigation on Mr. Dangerous.
ASP: Okay, so you mentioned breezes, does this Mr. Dangerous have powers? Is he like Storm from the X-Men comics, or more like the X-Men movies?
The publicist lets out a sigh, but decides to continue indulging ASP.
Publicist: Sorry sir, but I really have no clue what the differences are between the comics and the movies.
ASP: In the movies Storm is played by a lady who has different sized breasts. But the comic book character’s breasts are perfect.
Publicist: Well, let me assure you, MISTER Dangerous does not have breasts. I believe he has his weight under control. And no, Mr. Dangerous does not have any sort of powers, except being able to do the job quite a lot.
ASP: Job? He gets the job done? And I suppose I’m next on the to-do list in his eyes.
Publicist: I suppose in a matter of speaking he gets the job done… Perhaps you’re taking it another way though.
ASP: Well let me assure you, he wont get the job done with me in the ring!
Publicist: Well sir, it’s just a matter of how you’re thinking of the word “job”… Some will be expecting him to, as you call it, get the job done.
ASP: I promise you all, he wont get the job done.
Publicist: I wouldn’t promise such things until you find out what the wrestling definition of that word means, would you just listen for ten seconds and let me explain?
ASP nods, and the publicist begins to explain.
Publicist: When somebody takes the job in wrestling, it means they purposely had to lose to make the other wrestler look good.
ASP gets a look on his face showing his excitement, and then looks a little embarrassed.
ASP: So, what you’re saying is there is a chance I’ll win?
Publicist: Yes sir, you “might” win…
ASP: Wow, after all this time, someone finally decides to explain to me what that means. All this time, I’ve been saying there’s no way they’ll get the job done, and it just meant they wanted me to win. Ha! But then again…
ASP begins looking nervous again.
ASP: It might all be a trick, after all, if he really is dangerous, he’s a master of mind games. Some of the most dangerous people are also the most patient. He is picking his mark, this is all a game to him!
Publicist: I really think you are over reacting about his name sir.
ASP: Nonsense! Some of the best competitors try to figure out their competition. Everything is pointing at Mr. Dangerous being just that, dangerous. First of all, his name just gives it all away. Not to mention only a handful of men have been able to defeat him.
Publicist: That’s because only a handful of men have faced him sir. Okay, I have an idea…
The publicist reaches behind the seats, and pulls out a carry-on type bag, she opens the bag and rummages through it. She pulls out a Kindle.
Publicist: You want to read your Kindle? You yourself have talked about how amazing it is. If you don’t find a book you like on it, you can download one in less than sixty seconds. Doesn’t that sound fun? And look, it even has a speech function on it!
ASP: No, don’t!
The publicist turns the speech function on the Kindle, and an Apple type voice begins speaking.
Kindle Voice: And how great it felt, the heat between the two bodies as Dante ravaged her body with his hard member…
ASP quickly grabs the Kindle from the publicist and turns it off.
ASP: My wife… Yes, my wife was using my Kindle. She just likes to get ideas. I sometimes read it too, to get ideas of course. It has really made things exciting!
ASP begins shaking his head in disgust.
Publicist: What is it sir? Did I do something?
ASP: No, you really helped me out. I’m realizing now that wrestlers with scary names aren’t the most dangerous things around… It’s publicists that don’t ask permission to use my Kindle! Next time, ask. But I must say, having this revelation has encouraged me to send out a message to this Mr. Dangerous. John, You and I are going to be seen around the world.
Publicist: You wont, it’s a dark match.
ASP quickly corrects his statement.
ASP: Mr. Dangerous, You and I are going to be seen by a couple thousand people, and that still excites me. To me, this is a big night for me. My first match in a new business, the foundation in which every wrestlers career is built on. I have to show everyone that I am willing to get the job done, in a positive outlook. I watched this past weeks Over Drive, and I can tell that I am about to enter into a very intense storm, and I am only armed with, well, myself. It is another journey that every wrestler must endure to have a name for themselves. Mr. Dangerous, you have entered that journey, I don’t know what it has done to you, and I’m not entirely sure what the journey will do to me. But I am ready for it. I am ready for you, and I hope you are ready for me, in fact, I hope everyone is ready for me. I know I must sound like Jerry Springer. An entire hour of… Whatever the topic of the show was, and then ending with a very serious final thought, but this is who I am. Distractive, unpredictable, a chick magnet. But this is who I am, and I have stated once before that I will not change to simply be acceptable for others. What does matter is my performance in the ring. I promise, I will not disappoint in that department. I may be in an unrecorded portion of the show, but this is the process in which every wrestler should go through. I’m not going to demand any sort of special treatment when I haven’t proved what I am worth yet. I will never be accused of politicking backstage, refusing to wrestle if I don’t win the match. What I’m trying to say is, I wont act like Biggs.
The publicist gives him a “Don’t say that” look
Publicist: Way to make enemies sir.
ASP: I couldn’t resist… I don’t even know if the accusations are true or not.
Publicist: I wouldn’t be surprised now if you don’t even make it into the building… We’ll see though, we’re at the place.
The scene fades to black as we see ASP and his publicist looking our the driver side window.