Post by Nathaniel Havok on Aug 21, 2011 18:54:35 GMT -4
A dingy hotel room might not be the best place to hold the very first official episode of UNhappy Ending, but at the same time, it’s as good of a place as any! Let’s face it, Borderland and Kash aren’t worth much more than that, anyhow.
Shane: Nathaniel, you’ve got five minutes. Where in the hell did Sally go?
What the hell? Is Shane getting heated with me? For real? Time to nip this in the bud!
Havok: Shut the hell up, Shane. You know Sally, she’ll be here when she gets here!
Sally: Now, now, Nathaniel. You better be nice to my Shane.
I turned to see Sally standing in the doorway. She smirked at me, continuing to walk my way. She sat down next to me in front of the UNhappy Ending backdrop, ready to begin our first promotional video.
Sally: You know we need him. Who else is going to record, edit, and post these videos for us? Besides, if you want to get technical, he’s been with me longer than you have. Shane has followed me for a long, long time.
Havok: Yeah but still, he needs to remember his place. Don’t want to pull the schoolyard shit, but he got heated with me first. You know I don’t do well when someone gives me attitude.
Sally looked at me, deep in the eyes. I could tell that she was going to side with Shane, regardless. Still, I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by her scent. So sweet and sensual, I was immediately placed under hypnosis.
Shane: You two ready?
God dammit! Shane could kill a buzz quicker than a Jason Kash promo!
Havok: Yeah, sure. Let’s get the show on the road, little man.
I immediately felt a sharp pain in the side of my arm. I knew what it was right away, and turned to Sally who was staring at me yet again.
Havok: Hey! What the fuck was that for?
Sally: Be nice!
I rolled my eyes and shook my head, but I could tell that it wouldn’t do a damn bit of good. Sally is sweet on Shane, Shane’s been along for the ride for quite sometime now.
Shane: Okay guys, we’re on in 5...
4...
3...
…
…
As Shane began the countdown, my face immediately turned into a sarcastic smile. It’s time to show the world that Jason Kash isn’t the real APW funny man. It’s time to make Organized Violence look as entertaining as Ben Stein’s monotone-like voice!
Havok: Hello ladies, gentlemen, and hermaphrodites named BorderKash! Welcome to the second ever, but very first OFFICIAL episode of UNhappy Ending! I’m you’re host with the most, Nathaniel Havok! These lovely lady lumps sitting next to me, you can call the best with the breasts…[/i][/color]
What the hell is up with Sally hitting me today!?!? After another swat to the arm, I’ve had enough.
Havok: What the hell! Would you stop that shit?
Sally: Just keep going, tough guy!
Havok: Anywho, this sexy beast sitting next to me, is Sally Talfourd. Today, we’ve got just one interesting story to follow up on. But maybe that’s because the bromance is purely comical. However, the last time we saw UNhappy Ending, we reported that Jason Kash could have quite possibly left his “life partner”, Shane Borderland. Mr. Kash had went missing, leaving his lover Shane Borderland to use his hand for pleasure. Since then, it seems like the two have worked out their differences. A reconciliation was made between the two, and we’re still on for our Tag Team Championship match at Shockwave!
Sally: Of course to us, that is more-than-great news! We are ecstatic to have this opportunity, and we will be taking full advantage of it! Sally Talfourd and Nathaniel Havok have a complete understanding of our tag team. Most people wouldn’t understand our connection, but the only two people that NEED to understand it, DO understand it. We made a pact when this tag team first came together that we would both give it our all. After that, an unlikely and bizarre bond began to grow. We’re stronger than ever, and one of us wouldn’t leave the other high and dry like Organized Violence did a few weeks back.
Havok: Don’t let BorderKash fool you, ladies and gentlemen! There are still issues between the scorned lovers. While they continue to put on a strong, united front, behind the scenes, they’re definitely at each other’s throats with more than just meat whistles.
Sally looked at me with a confused look on her face. Analyzing her facial expression, I couldn’t believe that she could be THAT innocent, to not know what I’m saying. With no time to explain it to her in detail, and not being in the right setting to give her a visual aid, I patted her on the shoulder and shook my head.
Havok: Don’t worry about it, babe. Let’s just keep going.
Sally: Borderland, Kash, the two of you might be able to fool the fans, but you’re not fooling us! We heard what Shane Borderland had to say about his partner, a few weeks ago! It’s obvious to the two of us, that the two of you have some friction!
Havok: And not just between the sheets!
Sally: Yeah, what he said! We both know that when it comes down to it, WE trust each other more then YOU trust each other! Do you know what that means? It means that the team of Sally Talfourd and Nathaniel Havok, are way more than capable of capturing the Tag Team Championships!
Havok: Tell me something BorderKash, how are you supposed to be the best tag team in the business, when the two of you would stab each other in the back in a split second? I know your type, the type that would do anything to get themselves ahead. Both of you, you know it’s true! The either of you would sell the other out in a heartbeat without even thinking about it, if it meant that you could gain an advantage!
Sally: Nathaniel and I would never do that, ever! While I understand that Nathaniel might be hot for me, we BOTH understand that this is mainly business. Business comes first. What happens after the cameras go off, is between us. However, the two of you have went public with your non-trust tag team! Don’t believe me? Just listen to Shane Borderland talk about you, Jason Kash! Right after you went on your little “vacation” without word, he tried to replace you within a few days!
Havok: If you haven’t noticed lately, wherever Sally goes, I go! This past week, I was banned from Asylum, wasn’t I? Well, we see how all that worked out. By the way, how are your ribs feeling, Kash? You doing alright there buddy? I sure hope so! I want you to be 100% healthy at the pay per view. You need to be at your best, if you want a shot at keeping your titles.
I know damn well that Jason Kash isn’t going to be at 100%. After the Kendo Stick beating that I gave him, his ribcage has to be killing him!
Havok: But back on subject, I leave Sally unattended, NOWHERE!
Sally: Well, except when I pee.
Havok: Come on Sally, they know what I mean. Whether you’re in the bathroom or not, I’m the only person that can get to you. Anyone else, would have to go through me. Which makes you untouchable, without a doubt.
Sally: That’s because of the bond that we share. If you’ve ever needed me, I’ve been there. Just like when I’ve needed you, although I might not have admitted that I needed your help, you’ve been there for me. You don’t want my pride to get in the way, you’ve just been there. We both know that Organized Violence couldn’t say that! We saw how quick Borderland was to jump ship on Kash, without even knowing why he was missing.
Havok: We know why he was missing, he wanted to play a new pipe-organ. But regardless, they continue to pretend that everything is okay in BorderKash Land. Fine with me, we’ll see how well they’re getting along after we take the titles. I have the feeling that one of them will be bitch-slapping the other, when we are finished bitch-slapping them first.
Sally: They started this whole thing, back when they attacked you! They could have just left it alone, and waited to do battle this Sunday.
Havok: No, that’s not their style. Not my style, either. I can’t really condemn them for what they did, because hey, it was pretty cool! I would have done the same thing! But the problem is, they chose the wrong guy to make a statement against. They want to be seen as the most dominant tag team in professional wrestling history, and taking out Nathaniel Havok before their title defense was a smart idea. They know that they can’t beat us without playing mind games! But what they obviously didn’t take into account, is that I am the king of mind games! I am the mastermind behind the mind game! I took the mind game, and gave it a complete overhaul! No one is better, and no one gets into my head!
Sally: Not true, I’ve gotten into your head before.
Havok: Shaking your ass at me doesn’t count.
Sally: Oh, but how quick you forget, Nathaniel. Who’s the one who got you better again? Who watched you for countless hours in your sleep?
Havok: I know, I know, and I’m forever grateful.
Looking Sally in the eyes, put me right back into that trance. But as she began to speak, I snapped out of it. Fake smile back on, UNhappy Ending continues.
Sally: We’ve already been through more B.S. than most tag teams every have. We’re without a doubt the most-bonded tag team in APW. No one should be able to get in our way! It stems from our times as singles competitors, you know?
Havok: I remember. You put me out of action. We studied one another so much that it was just like fighting a clone! But you got the better of me, I’m man enough to admit that. But as a tag team, that means that we’re that much more in sync with each other! I know what Sally’s going to do, before she even does it! And vice-versa! The two of you play the guessing game with one another, hoping that your guess is the right one, waiting for the other to pull off what you’ve predicted.
Sally: This gives Nathaniel and I, yet another edge. Going into this match, I know that Nathaniel is going to pull out all the stops! No one deserves the label “Mr. Pay Per View”, more than the Enforcer of Sorrow! Look at his track record! This year alone, he has more Match of the Year candidate matches, than any other APW Megastar! He took Jacob Whitehead to the limit, and put him out of action indefinitely! Same with Diamante Valentine! And no offense to Nathaniel, but if I’m able to beat him, that just means that I’m as good as he is, if not better!
Havok: The two of you, could never measure up. When this tag team first came about, President Jeff predicted it as a possibility. He said “two APW Megastar Main-Eventers could team up to become a super tag team!” He was talking about us! He was talking about the unlikely pairing of Talfourd and Havok! And although he didn’t know it at the time, but he was just as accurate as Nostradamus. This Sunday, we fulfill the other half of his shocking prediction! Sally and I will capture the APW Tag Team Championships from the two of you, and from there we will never look back! The truth is that you don’t run the tag team division, you’re just one of many tag teams! But soon, you’ll be just like everyone else! Chasing us while we run away with our tag team gold!
Sally: There will never be another tag team like us. We’re a one of a kind, which is what President Jeff had in mind all along. It may have started out looking like we wouldn’t make it, but we did what we had to do to make things work. We’re a team, a tandem, a singular unit! The two of you are only out for yourselves! As soon as a weakness is exploited, you’ll turn the other in for the reward. We wouldn’t turn each other in, if wanted, the law would find us hiding together!
Havok: They wouldn’t find us, trust me.
And they wouldn’t. I remember a time when my past came back to haunt me. I had an outstanding warrant in Denver. Went to a show, performed, went to the hotel, and BAM! There they were, waiting for me in the lobby! Since then, I’ve became smarter. I’m not a kid anymore, and wouldn’t get caught up in the first place. However, if needed, I have a few places that I could go.
Sally: Either way, we’d be in it, together! While Organized Violence plays their games, we will continue to conquer the tag team division as one!
Havok: It’s called fate. It’s on our side. Shane Borderland, it wasn’t too long ago, that I made you my bitch! I mopped the floor with you, eventually making you beg for mercy! I’ve already proven I can beat you! Now, add in the fact that your butt buddy is in no way, shape, or form at 100%, and what do you get?
I love pausing for dramatic effect, it makes things so much more entertaining.
Havok: I know that the two of you aren’t too good at match, so I’ll just answer the question for you. You get Organized Violence, FORMER APW Tag Team Champions.
Sally: Nathaniel’s already got gold around his waist, however he knows how to make a woman happy. Now, I know that the two of you aren’t really what you would call “ladies men”, with the riff raff females you hang around. However, with me, much like many other women who actually have class, we love gold! Nathaniel and I are going to get just that, gold! Like it or not, you wont be leaving Shockwave as the APW Tag Team Champions, we will be!
Havok: There’s always your rematch, right? However, I get the feeling that Organized Violence will be no more, after this Sunday’s pay per view. Courtesy of yours truly, and the most dominant female wrestler that this business has ever seen.
Sally: See you Sunday, boys.
As Sally smiled into the camera, I looked at her, mesmerized once again. How could something so beautiful, be so dominant? Glad she’s with me, rather than against me!
Shane: Nathaniel, you’ve got five minutes. Where in the hell did Sally go?
What the hell? Is Shane getting heated with me? For real? Time to nip this in the bud!
Havok: Shut the hell up, Shane. You know Sally, she’ll be here when she gets here!
Sally: Now, now, Nathaniel. You better be nice to my Shane.
I turned to see Sally standing in the doorway. She smirked at me, continuing to walk my way. She sat down next to me in front of the UNhappy Ending backdrop, ready to begin our first promotional video.
Sally: You know we need him. Who else is going to record, edit, and post these videos for us? Besides, if you want to get technical, he’s been with me longer than you have. Shane has followed me for a long, long time.
Havok: Yeah but still, he needs to remember his place. Don’t want to pull the schoolyard shit, but he got heated with me first. You know I don’t do well when someone gives me attitude.
Sally looked at me, deep in the eyes. I could tell that she was going to side with Shane, regardless. Still, I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by her scent. So sweet and sensual, I was immediately placed under hypnosis.
Shane: You two ready?
God dammit! Shane could kill a buzz quicker than a Jason Kash promo!
Havok: Yeah, sure. Let’s get the show on the road, little man.
I immediately felt a sharp pain in the side of my arm. I knew what it was right away, and turned to Sally who was staring at me yet again.
Havok: Hey! What the fuck was that for?
Sally: Be nice!
I rolled my eyes and shook my head, but I could tell that it wouldn’t do a damn bit of good. Sally is sweet on Shane, Shane’s been along for the ride for quite sometime now.
Shane: Okay guys, we’re on in 5...
4...
3...
…
…
As Shane began the countdown, my face immediately turned into a sarcastic smile. It’s time to show the world that Jason Kash isn’t the real APW funny man. It’s time to make Organized Violence look as entertaining as Ben Stein’s monotone-like voice!
Havok: Hello ladies, gentlemen, and hermaphrodites named BorderKash! Welcome to the second ever, but very first OFFICIAL episode of UNhappy Ending! I’m you’re host with the most, Nathaniel Havok! These lovely lady lumps sitting next to me, you can call the best with the breasts…[/i][/color]
What the hell is up with Sally hitting me today!?!? After another swat to the arm, I’ve had enough.
Havok: What the hell! Would you stop that shit?
Sally: Just keep going, tough guy!
Havok: Anywho, this sexy beast sitting next to me, is Sally Talfourd. Today, we’ve got just one interesting story to follow up on. But maybe that’s because the bromance is purely comical. However, the last time we saw UNhappy Ending, we reported that Jason Kash could have quite possibly left his “life partner”, Shane Borderland. Mr. Kash had went missing, leaving his lover Shane Borderland to use his hand for pleasure. Since then, it seems like the two have worked out their differences. A reconciliation was made between the two, and we’re still on for our Tag Team Championship match at Shockwave!
Sally: Of course to us, that is more-than-great news! We are ecstatic to have this opportunity, and we will be taking full advantage of it! Sally Talfourd and Nathaniel Havok have a complete understanding of our tag team. Most people wouldn’t understand our connection, but the only two people that NEED to understand it, DO understand it. We made a pact when this tag team first came together that we would both give it our all. After that, an unlikely and bizarre bond began to grow. We’re stronger than ever, and one of us wouldn’t leave the other high and dry like Organized Violence did a few weeks back.
Havok: Don’t let BorderKash fool you, ladies and gentlemen! There are still issues between the scorned lovers. While they continue to put on a strong, united front, behind the scenes, they’re definitely at each other’s throats with more than just meat whistles.
Sally looked at me with a confused look on her face. Analyzing her facial expression, I couldn’t believe that she could be THAT innocent, to not know what I’m saying. With no time to explain it to her in detail, and not being in the right setting to give her a visual aid, I patted her on the shoulder and shook my head.
Havok: Don’t worry about it, babe. Let’s just keep going.
Sally: Borderland, Kash, the two of you might be able to fool the fans, but you’re not fooling us! We heard what Shane Borderland had to say about his partner, a few weeks ago! It’s obvious to the two of us, that the two of you have some friction!
Havok: And not just between the sheets!
Sally: Yeah, what he said! We both know that when it comes down to it, WE trust each other more then YOU trust each other! Do you know what that means? It means that the team of Sally Talfourd and Nathaniel Havok, are way more than capable of capturing the Tag Team Championships!
Havok: Tell me something BorderKash, how are you supposed to be the best tag team in the business, when the two of you would stab each other in the back in a split second? I know your type, the type that would do anything to get themselves ahead. Both of you, you know it’s true! The either of you would sell the other out in a heartbeat without even thinking about it, if it meant that you could gain an advantage!
Sally: Nathaniel and I would never do that, ever! While I understand that Nathaniel might be hot for me, we BOTH understand that this is mainly business. Business comes first. What happens after the cameras go off, is between us. However, the two of you have went public with your non-trust tag team! Don’t believe me? Just listen to Shane Borderland talk about you, Jason Kash! Right after you went on your little “vacation” without word, he tried to replace you within a few days!
Havok: If you haven’t noticed lately, wherever Sally goes, I go! This past week, I was banned from Asylum, wasn’t I? Well, we see how all that worked out. By the way, how are your ribs feeling, Kash? You doing alright there buddy? I sure hope so! I want you to be 100% healthy at the pay per view. You need to be at your best, if you want a shot at keeping your titles.
I know damn well that Jason Kash isn’t going to be at 100%. After the Kendo Stick beating that I gave him, his ribcage has to be killing him!
Havok: But back on subject, I leave Sally unattended, NOWHERE!
Sally: Well, except when I pee.
Havok: Come on Sally, they know what I mean. Whether you’re in the bathroom or not, I’m the only person that can get to you. Anyone else, would have to go through me. Which makes you untouchable, without a doubt.
Sally: That’s because of the bond that we share. If you’ve ever needed me, I’ve been there. Just like when I’ve needed you, although I might not have admitted that I needed your help, you’ve been there for me. You don’t want my pride to get in the way, you’ve just been there. We both know that Organized Violence couldn’t say that! We saw how quick Borderland was to jump ship on Kash, without even knowing why he was missing.
Havok: We know why he was missing, he wanted to play a new pipe-organ. But regardless, they continue to pretend that everything is okay in BorderKash Land. Fine with me, we’ll see how well they’re getting along after we take the titles. I have the feeling that one of them will be bitch-slapping the other, when we are finished bitch-slapping them first.
Sally: They started this whole thing, back when they attacked you! They could have just left it alone, and waited to do battle this Sunday.
Havok: No, that’s not their style. Not my style, either. I can’t really condemn them for what they did, because hey, it was pretty cool! I would have done the same thing! But the problem is, they chose the wrong guy to make a statement against. They want to be seen as the most dominant tag team in professional wrestling history, and taking out Nathaniel Havok before their title defense was a smart idea. They know that they can’t beat us without playing mind games! But what they obviously didn’t take into account, is that I am the king of mind games! I am the mastermind behind the mind game! I took the mind game, and gave it a complete overhaul! No one is better, and no one gets into my head!
Sally: Not true, I’ve gotten into your head before.
Havok: Shaking your ass at me doesn’t count.
Sally: Oh, but how quick you forget, Nathaniel. Who’s the one who got you better again? Who watched you for countless hours in your sleep?
Havok: I know, I know, and I’m forever grateful.
Looking Sally in the eyes, put me right back into that trance. But as she began to speak, I snapped out of it. Fake smile back on, UNhappy Ending continues.
Sally: We’ve already been through more B.S. than most tag teams every have. We’re without a doubt the most-bonded tag team in APW. No one should be able to get in our way! It stems from our times as singles competitors, you know?
Havok: I remember. You put me out of action. We studied one another so much that it was just like fighting a clone! But you got the better of me, I’m man enough to admit that. But as a tag team, that means that we’re that much more in sync with each other! I know what Sally’s going to do, before she even does it! And vice-versa! The two of you play the guessing game with one another, hoping that your guess is the right one, waiting for the other to pull off what you’ve predicted.
Sally: This gives Nathaniel and I, yet another edge. Going into this match, I know that Nathaniel is going to pull out all the stops! No one deserves the label “Mr. Pay Per View”, more than the Enforcer of Sorrow! Look at his track record! This year alone, he has more Match of the Year candidate matches, than any other APW Megastar! He took Jacob Whitehead to the limit, and put him out of action indefinitely! Same with Diamante Valentine! And no offense to Nathaniel, but if I’m able to beat him, that just means that I’m as good as he is, if not better!
Havok: The two of you, could never measure up. When this tag team first came about, President Jeff predicted it as a possibility. He said “two APW Megastar Main-Eventers could team up to become a super tag team!” He was talking about us! He was talking about the unlikely pairing of Talfourd and Havok! And although he didn’t know it at the time, but he was just as accurate as Nostradamus. This Sunday, we fulfill the other half of his shocking prediction! Sally and I will capture the APW Tag Team Championships from the two of you, and from there we will never look back! The truth is that you don’t run the tag team division, you’re just one of many tag teams! But soon, you’ll be just like everyone else! Chasing us while we run away with our tag team gold!
Sally: There will never be another tag team like us. We’re a one of a kind, which is what President Jeff had in mind all along. It may have started out looking like we wouldn’t make it, but we did what we had to do to make things work. We’re a team, a tandem, a singular unit! The two of you are only out for yourselves! As soon as a weakness is exploited, you’ll turn the other in for the reward. We wouldn’t turn each other in, if wanted, the law would find us hiding together!
Havok: They wouldn’t find us, trust me.
And they wouldn’t. I remember a time when my past came back to haunt me. I had an outstanding warrant in Denver. Went to a show, performed, went to the hotel, and BAM! There they were, waiting for me in the lobby! Since then, I’ve became smarter. I’m not a kid anymore, and wouldn’t get caught up in the first place. However, if needed, I have a few places that I could go.
Sally: Either way, we’d be in it, together! While Organized Violence plays their games, we will continue to conquer the tag team division as one!
Havok: It’s called fate. It’s on our side. Shane Borderland, it wasn’t too long ago, that I made you my bitch! I mopped the floor with you, eventually making you beg for mercy! I’ve already proven I can beat you! Now, add in the fact that your butt buddy is in no way, shape, or form at 100%, and what do you get?
I love pausing for dramatic effect, it makes things so much more entertaining.
Havok: I know that the two of you aren’t too good at match, so I’ll just answer the question for you. You get Organized Violence, FORMER APW Tag Team Champions.
Sally: Nathaniel’s already got gold around his waist, however he knows how to make a woman happy. Now, I know that the two of you aren’t really what you would call “ladies men”, with the riff raff females you hang around. However, with me, much like many other women who actually have class, we love gold! Nathaniel and I are going to get just that, gold! Like it or not, you wont be leaving Shockwave as the APW Tag Team Champions, we will be!
Havok: There’s always your rematch, right? However, I get the feeling that Organized Violence will be no more, after this Sunday’s pay per view. Courtesy of yours truly, and the most dominant female wrestler that this business has ever seen.
Sally: See you Sunday, boys.
As Sally smiled into the camera, I looked at her, mesmerized once again. How could something so beautiful, be so dominant? Glad she’s with me, rather than against me!
