Post by biggs on Aug 27, 2011 17:44:10 GMT -4
”Are we going to be done with this by eight o'clock? Because I'm having some friends over to watch a few episodes of Game of Thrones,” Melvin asks me in his high-pitched, nasally voice.
”Yeah, yeah, Melvin, we've got plenty of time to finish this before eight. We just got to make sure we get this right!”
At the moment, I'm standing in the backyard of a man I just met a couple of hours ago, Melvin Myers. Actually, calling him a man is far too generous, as the guy's never really grown up. Still, he and his friends answered my Craigslist listing asking for LARPers who would be willing to make a video with me, so I guess beggars can't be choosers.
Melvin is a bit heavy set, with slightly wavy orange hair, and he normally wears glasses, although not when he's in costume. He's currently dressed like a Viking warrior, complete with a large fur cape and an horned helmet. He carries a boffing Axe, and insists that we refer to him as Hemdel the Destroyer.
He has four other friends there with him, all of whom are extremely socially awkward, but I guess that's to be expected of folks who participate in live action roleplaying. There's Scott, who's a rail thin, greasy haired rouge, although he really lacks the dashing charm that all the best rouges have. Also, he has severe acne, which I'll obviously have to edit out in post-production of this video.
Next to Scott is Lawrence, who actually seems to be pretty normal save for the fact that he LARPs. He's dressed up in a green tunic, with a pointy hat, fake pointy ears, and dark brown boots. He carries a bow, and has a quiver full of large nerf arrows. His long, blonde hair is tied back into a ponytail.
The obligatory dwarf role is filled by Billy. Billy is short and squat, exactly what you would imagine a dwarf to look like. He has on a fake beard, and chain mail he tells me he found at the local flee market. He carries a large foam hammer, and pretends that his root beer is actual beer. Billy also speaks in an almost comical deep voice, if only because you know he's faking it.
The group is rounded out by the lone female in the party, a gal by the name of Nancy. She has flowing blonde hair, similar to Lawrence's, and she's also sporting elf ears. She's dressed up as a mage, complete with bright blue flowing robes, a white scarf, and a walking stick that she pretends is her staff. From what I can gather, her and Lawrence seem to be an item, hence the other guys not swarming her and trying to impress her.
I myself am dressed up in a black suit of armor that I'm renting from a local costume shop, and have borrowed one of Melvin's boffing swords. Considering C.J.'s little story time, in which he called me the Black Knight, I decided that I would fight fire with fire, embracing the label, and film a video using the fantasy theme C.J. established with his little bed time story. Yet while this may have seemed sound in theory, I'm quickly finding it to be more trouble than it's worth.
”Well, I'm just saying, we have about five hours until eight o'clock, and I just want to make sure that we're done by eight o'clock, because even though I've seen every episode three times already, I can't wait to watch the first three episodes again for a forth!” Melvin whines, trying to make his point perfectly clear that we have to be done before he has his friends over to watch Game of Thrones.
”Don't worry, Melvin! We only need about 10 minutes of footage, which we can easily get in five hours! Just shut up about Game of Thrones!” Scott interjects.
”Hey! Don't you diss Thrones! Just because it's too complicated for you to understand doesn't mean you can knock it!”
”I'm not mocking it, I'm just saying that we have plenty of time to get this video done if you quit talking about that show! And it's not too complicated, it's just too boring!”
”Why you!” Melvin shouts as he swings his pretend Axe at Scott. Scott awkwardly rolls out of the way with about as much grace as a three legged dog, and pops back up to his feet, drawing both of his daggers. He and Melvin then partake in one of the most pathetic attempts at fake combat I've ever seen, throwing cliché and quite frankly painful quips back and forth. Eventually, Scott overextends himself trying to “stab” Melvin, and Melvin his able to hit him with his axe.
”I just got a critical hit! You lose 10 life!” Melvin shouts triumphantly. As Scott begins to make his way back up to his feet, Melvin takes another swing, and misses, allowing Scott to get behind him and hit him in the back with both daggers.
”Haha! I get Sneak Attack Damage on top of my normal times-2 damage modifier because I'm wielding fire daggers! You take 23 damage!”
”Well because I'm bloodied, I invoke Berserker Rage, which ups my attack, strength, speed and defense by 5 points apiece! Watch out!”
Ellie just stands there with the camera, shaking her head. I find it hilarious, and am trying as hard as I can to not bust out laughing. I lean over to Ellie, and whisper, ”You're recording this, right?”
”Every minute...” she mutters as she rolls her eyes.
Scott and Melvin continue to go at it for another minute or two before Melvin holds his hand up and calls for time out. He's breathing heavily and is sweating profusely in his viking gear.
”Just a minute. I'm out of breath...” Melvin pants between breaths.
Scott doesn't heed his words, instead lunging in for the pretend killing blow! He stabs Melvin as he cries out, ”Real warriors don't call for timeout in the heat of battle! I win!”
”You lousy cheat! I was almost ready to continue! That's it! I'm out of here!”
”Can we still use your backyard to film my video?” I ask as Melvin huffs off.
”Only if Scott admits that he was wrong, and that Game of Thrones is an awesome show!” Melvin huffs.
”Never! The books were better, and even then, only marginally so!”
”Then why would you read them if you thought they were boring, Scott?” Ellie asks, not understanding anything that's been going on in the last 10 minutes.
Scott stops to think about this for a moment, and Melvin stays, if only because he wants to hear the answers. ”Well, because Melvin's my friend, and he puts up with me raving about Lord of the Rings, so I guess it's only fair that I give his favorite thing a try. Plus, he kept saying they got better as they went along...”
”I'll admit, I felt the same way about Dune. I only read it because my buddy absolutely loved it, and I kept asking him when did it pick up, and when I told him which part I was at, he said that it should have already picked up. I know exactly where you're coming from, Scott,” I say.
We all look at Melvin, waiting to hear what his response is. His eyes dart around the group, looking at everyone while we can see the wheels in his head turning, before he finally replies, ”Well, I guess I'll stay! I mean, if Scott would be willing to read through all those novels just for my sake, I guess he's a really good friend!” Melvin offers his fist out for daps, which Scott gives him.
”Okay, now that we've got the mushy part out of the way, let's get to business. Does everyone here remember what our basic outline is?” I ask, wanting to make sure that we're all on the same page before we begin actual filming.
Billy raises his stubby arm.
”You don't need to raise your arm, Billy. You can just talk. We're all adults here.”
Billy's eyes light up, I guess because nobody's ever called him an adult before. It wouldn't surprise me if this were actually the case. He responds in his fake deep voice, ”We are to represent the challenges you have faced en route to winning the APW Undisputed Championship, which in our context is represented by the precious grail set upon the tree stump over yonder.”
”Exactly! Now we're just going to ad-lib this whole thing, because I'm assuming with as much experience as you all have LARPing, you know how to do that. So if you all are ready, why don't we take our positions?”
Scott raises his hand. ”I have a question.”
”First off, Scott, you don't need to raise your hand. Secondly, what's your question?”
Scott has a serious look on his face as he states his question, ”Well, considering how much more experienced we are in this than you are, you can't possibly have enough experience points to be of a sufficient level to be able to defeat all of us by yourself. Maybe we should split up into teams?”
Lawrence interrupts before I have an opportunity to answer Scott's question. ”That defeats the purpose of the video. We're just here to help Biggs out, make him look good, and get paid for it at the end. This doesn't count for anything!”
”So we aren't getting experience points for this?” Scott asks with a puzzled tone in his voice.
”Nope,” Lawrence plainly answers.
”So the experience I earned in beating Melvin right here doesn't count?”
”Again, nope.”
”Then what's the point!?” Scott yells out indignantly. He tosses his daggers to the ground and crosses his arms across his chest.
”Listen, I'm paying you guys fifty dollars apiece to film this, and the quicker we get this done, the better rate of pay it is for the lot of you,” I blurt out, getting impatient with all the arguing and general stalling going on.
”What are these dollars you speak of. Are they some sort of yet unknown currency?” Billy pops in, trying to be in character.
”You've got to be kidding me... Fine then. Would it motivate you if I said I was paying you fifty gold apiece to complete this quest? Would that work!?”
”Well, you're asking us to sacrifice our honor and dignity for a mere fifty gold apiece. For me to knowingly take the fall, I would need somewhere in the neighborhood of fifty-five gold!”
”Fine, I'll add five dollars apiece!” I'm starting to get really frustrated by this point.
”Again, these dollars you speak of, what are they?” Billy pipes up, still in character.
By this point, I'm about ready to snap. I know that I have some geekish tendencies, but these guys are really taking things too far. ”Five gold! I meant to say five gold! Are you happy!?”
”Yes, quite..” Billy says smugly, briefly forgetting to use his fake deep voice.
”Okay. If everyone could please take their places, anywhere you want between me and the tree stump, we're going to start rolling when my wife yells action.”
Melvin and Billy take the front, Scott in the middle, and Lawrence & Nancy in the back. ”We're set up optimally, with the tanks in the front, mage in the back! You can't possibly break our defenses!”
”We're supposed to let him break our defenses, remember! Otherwise we don't get the fifty five dollars apiece!” Nancy chirps from the back.
”Again, I must ask, what are these dollars!?”
”Cram it, Billy! We're about to start!” Scott yells out.
Ellie gets in position behind the stump, looking to film me approaching the grail for the first shot. ”Okay, everyone, we start rolling in three, two, one, action!” she directs as I charge towards the party. I quickly dispose of Melvin by nailing him with the sword, and shove Billy aside. Scott tries to stab into my underarm area, but I block the blow and slash him from the side with the sword. He falls down in feign pain. Lawrence is trying to his me with his foam arrows, but is missing horribly, while Nancy points her staff at me and makes face electricity sounds, while mumbling about how she keeps missing me. As I get in close, the two of them run away, leaving nobody to stop me from reaching the grail. Right as I'm about to grab a hold of it, I get nailed in the back with such force that I fall forwards! The suit of armor makes it difficult to even roll over onto my back, and Lawrence and Nancy help me to turn over while Billy is arguing with Melvin and Scott.
”You knaves! We were supposed to let him reach the grail! Now we shall not receive our fifty-five gold!”
”My honor cannot be sold for such a measly sum! I shall require at least 10 more gold!”
”Plus we want experience for vanquishing the Black Knight!”
”Now don't get greedy! We had a good thing going here! How else are we going to get paid while being dressed like this!? Don't ruin this for me and Nancy!”
”Oh, so this is only about you and Nancy! It's always about you and Nancy! Never about me and Nancy, or Melvin and Nancy, or even Billy and Nancy! I'm sick and tired of you flaunting the fact that you have a girlfriend and we don't! That doesn't make you any better than us!” Scott yells, his face turning red with anger.
The males all continue to argue amongst one another as Nancy kneels down next to me to talk. ”I take it we're probably not going to get paid the fifty-five dollars apiece now, are we?”
”Well, the deal was that you all would help me film a video. But with the way these guys are arguing, I don't think we'll be able to get it done, at least not before Melvin's show. Not at this rate at least...” I reply. ”Still, fair's fair, so because you guys at least made an effort, I will honor my end of the deal.”
Nancy shakes her head. ”No, don't do that. We don't deserve it.”
Ellie and Nancy help me to my feet, and I remove the dark helmet. The guys are still going at it amongst themselves as I let out a loud whistle to get their attention. They immediately stop fighting, and look towards me.
”Well, guys, I don't think this is going to work out the way any of us want it to, so why don't we just call it a wash, and get on with our lives. Ellie and I will be on our way now.”
Billy gets a sad, dejected look on his face. ”So no gold...”
”Well you guys didn't finish the quest, so no gold.”
The group all looks at each other, sullen and upset at the turn of events. ”However, for your valiant effort, I shall take all of you out for pizza!”
All of their faces light up, and suddenly, everyone's happy again. ”We can all take my minivan to the pizza place! It'll be epic!”
”Just so long as we're back by eight! I have to be back by eight for Game of Thrones!” Melvin reminds all of us once more as we all head over to the van.
As we're walking over, Ellie taps me on the shoulder and whispers into my ear, ”So you're really going to the pizza place dressed like that?”
”Why not? You only live once, right!”
So even though I'm not going to be able to make my video mocking C.J. like I planned, at least after today, I can say that I've eaten pizza in a suit of armor. And how many people can truthfully say they done that?
Depeche Mode's “Spacewalker” plays as the the words FIRST CONTACT flash across the starry background. The footage switches to Biggs standing alone in the middle of the ring in the Xcel Energy Center. He's dressed in his ring gear, complete with his fancy jacket, signature shades, and the APW Undisputed Championship belt clasped around his waist. Biggs just stands there for a bit, looking around the arena. After a few moments, he looks to the camera, and begins to speak, patting the belt with one hand as he does so.
”This is what it is all about. What I wear around my waist is the culmination of all my hard work, all my efforts over my eight plus year career in this business we call professional wrestling! This is why I wake up every morning and run 10 miles before breakfast. This is why I watch what I eat. This is why I own a state of the art gym. This is why I spend hours upon hours training in rings much like this all around the world. This is why I pour countless hours into watching and studying each and every opponent I face in this ring. This is what it is all about when I take on C.J. Gates tomorrow night in this very ring in the Main Event of APW Shockwave!”
“The fact is that over the course of my career, I have been a World's Champion on three occasions. The first was when I defeated Wilco in a No Holds Barred Match to win the GWE World Heavyweight Title. Sadly, the politics of that fed forced me to vacate the title a mere two weeks into my reign. Still, they could not take away the fact that I beat their golden boy to become the youngest champion ever! My second World Title was earned in the AWE, where I upended Fuzz in his very first title defense to claim the AWE Heavyweight Championship as my own, a title which I held for five months. I don't bring these past reigns up to brag, I don't bring them up to boast, I merely mention them to highlight the point that when I say that winning the APW Undisputed Championship is the greatest honor of my career, that it actually means something when I say that! Believe me, it took everything I had and then some to be able to pull off what many viewed as an improbable upset when I pinned Lester Only's shoulders to the mat and earned the APW Undisputed Championship, taking my place at the top of the mountain in this great sport! Never had I been in a more nerve-wracking situation. Never had I had such a difficult match. But when it was all said and done, when I was able to raise that belt high above my head and soak in the boos and jeers of the crowd, it made all the sacrifices absolutely worth it! I cannot tell you how many birthday parties I've missed, how many invitations to barbeques and the like I've had to turn down over the years, how many friendships and relationships have gone by the wayside. Heck, I even lost my some of my faith along the way, but in the end, knowing that I will forever be known as an APW Undisputed Champion, well, it justified everything! It was proof positive of Machiavelli's principle that the ends justify the means. I am the Undisputed Champion, and nobody can say otherwise.”
“Granted there are those who have tried. There are many that say that I don't deserve the honor of holding this prestigious title, that I am somehow unworthy of it. They point to the fact that I beat Lester while placing my feet on the ropes for leverage. They cite the fact that leading up to our match, I laid Lester out not once, but twice by nailing him with what was at the time his own belt. The fact of the matter is that I did what I had to do, did what I needed to do in order to reach the very heights that I have. One of these people is my opponent tomorrow night, C.J. Gates. Now C.J. you've been one of my most vocal critics, harassing me left and right, calling me a paper champion, saying that the non-existent force of karma will catch up to me. The fact of the matter is C.J., that your analogy of calling me the Black Knight, while a bit over dramatic, is certainly sound. I am not a good man. But I don't claim otherwise. I know exactly who I am, and no matter what you, or any of the idiotic fans, or wrestling journalists say, I defeated Lester Only in a match where the APW Undisputed Championship was on the line, and as such, that makes me champion! You can cry, moan, deride it all you want, the fact is there is a 'W' next to my name in the record books, along with a dandy little “c” to denote the new champion. As of Test for the Best 2011, I am officially the top guy in Action Packed Wrestling!”
“While I'd like to say that this was always going to be a sure thing ever since I first stepped foot in APW, the unfortunate fact of the matter is that this really didn't seem like the case early on. I can't quite put my finger on it, but when I first started here in APW, I couldn't get a win to save my life! I lost in my debut match, getting pinned by Shadow. I lost in my pay per view debut, getting pinned by Mr. Strange. I couldn't understand why I kept on losing, when I was focused on wrestling, while these bums were out and about doing crazy things that I thought quite frankly would be detrimental to a wrestling career. Granted it was only two losses, but still, considering how used to winning I was, I can hardly be blamed for being discouraged. I was ready to call it a wash and leave as quickly as I came, hoping that people would forget this unfortunate blemish on my otherwise stellar career.”
“But then the next week, I picked up my first win. And then another, and another, until I had quite a win streak going. With my confidence restored, I set my sights on Shadow and his Overdrive Championship, and from there, the rest is history! When I won the APW Overdrive Championship from Shadow in that Steel Cage match at Shockwave two years ago, that was the moment where I truly arrived here in APW, and became a force to be reckoned with! Since then, I have held the Overdrive Championship a record three times, with my third reign being arguably the greatest Overdrive Title reign in the history of this organization! I already shared about it on my last show, so I'll just briefly mention it here, but I successfully defended my Overdrive Championship on seven consecutive shows, and all in all, nine title defenses. In an era where most titles change hands like a hot potato, that kind of reign is something to be proud of. But as great of an accomplishment this was, it pales in comparison to what I wish to accomplish with this APW Undisputed Championship clasped around my waist! Because C.J., even though I know I will go down in history as the greatest Overdrive Champion of all time, that's not enough for me! Because I want to go down in history as the greatest APW Undisputed Champion of all time! Now I realize that this will be quite a tall task, considering that Level-One has dominated the title picture for the better part of the last two-and-a-half years, holding the APW Undisputed Championship for a grand total of 538 days to be exact, with his longest reign clocking in at a whopping 266 days. Now there's two ways I can go about surpassing his collective reigns, I can either look at it as beating his record numerically in the amount of days I hold the belt, or I can look at it in terms of successful title defenses. I prefer the latter. Much like I derided Shadow for only defending his Overdrive Championship a grand total of 2 times in five months, I can also deride Level-One for only defending his belt at pay per views. Granted, I realize that our match this Sunday will be my first official title defense, but if I have my way, I'll be able to defend my Undisputed Championship much in the same way I defended my Overdrive Championship, and that is night in and night out, taking on any and all comers. People may not like me, they may not like how I conduct myself, but the fact is, when I went on an absolute tear as Overdrive Champion, they had no choice but to respect me! And I intend on doing the same exact thing with this Undisputed Title!”
“Granted, all of this hinges on me being able to defeat you tomorrow night in this very ring. And while I'm extremely confident in this happening, even I must acknowledge that it won't be a small feat beating you. As you've alluded to, you've had an absolutely great year by anybody's standards. However, if you look deeper into the specificities of your year, then we start to see the cracks, we start to see the things that could potentially, and in the case of our match this Sunday, actually will prevent you from being able to become the APW Undisputed Champion. It's best to start at the beginning, with Survive & Conquer. You are right to say that not many people expected you to get to the final four, because quite frankly, you hadn't given anyone any reason to think that you could. Prior to S&C, you were primarily known as a tag team specialist, holding the titles with Blade. But while you were able to make it to the Steel Cage portion of the match up, the fact is you could have, and should have, made it to at least the final three. But you thought that you had to be the White Knight, the shining beacon of good morals, and you allowed Sally Talfourd to climb out of the cage while you continued to battle Ryan Ruckus. From there, Ruckus managed to eliminate you from the match. And while it didn't quite prove the axiom that nice guys finish last, you certainly proved that nice guys don't finish first!”
“From there, you and Blade tried unsuccessfully to recapture the APW Tag Titles, perhaps the only blemish on your year thus far. Following this, you got embroiled in a bitter and personal feud with Sally Talfourd, in which you won not once, but twice! As much as it shames me to admit it, you've done something that I have not been able to do thus far in my career, but I think the fact that I beat Lester with the title on the line is a more impressive feat! From there, you went on to win Test for the Best, which gets you to where you are at now, that being the #1 Contender for my APW Undisputed Championship.”
“You've been a fast rising star here in APW, C.J., there's no doubt about that. And while I took a more let's say scenic route to getting to where I am today, the fact is, C.J. that when we meet in this ring tomorrow night, you will find out first hand why the tortoise beat the hare! I have been nothing but consistent in my two plus years here in APW! I may not have blazed a trail to the main event scene, as I had to wait two years to even get a shot at the APW Undisputed Championship, but now that I'm here, I have no intentions of leaving anytime soon! This is my time, C.J., not yours! I'm not saying that you didn't earn your way into this match, I'm just saying that you didn't have to work nearly as hard as I did. You didn't have to toil, sweat, and sacrifice to the extent which I did! And if you think that I'm just going to lie down for you, let you take my title, and turn me into nothing more than a transitional champion, than you are dead wrong!”
“The odds makers are saying that our match tomorrow night, C.J., is one of the most evenly matched contests for the APW Undisputed Championship of all time! The so-called experts think that it can really go either way. And I don't blame them for thinking that way. Sure they may be wrong, but it's easy to see why they think you and I are on equal footing in this ring. Just a quick look at our styles. Both of us employ very quick, very high-paced styles that are very hard for our adversaries to keep up with. Both of us are extremely well conditioned to where we could easily go an hour in this ring and still have enough gas in the tank to go an hour more. Both of us can fly with the best of them. Heck, we're practically the same size! I outweigh you by a scant two pounds, while you have an inch or two on me in height and probably reach.”
“You are great at what you do, C.J. You're one of the best high fliers in the business today. But then again, so am I, not to mention so much more. Because while you can fly and scrap with the best of them, your technical acumen is not nearly as sharp as mine. You're plenty good at flying, flipping, and dodging around the ring, but in terms of counter wrestling, you cannot even dream of holding a candle to me! And let's not forget your non-existent submission skills! Your best bet to win a match is to overwhelm your opponent with a flurry of offense that is just so darn quick that they can't do anything about it. And that normally works out just fine for you, because you're faster than your opponents. But that won't work on me. Simply put, C.J. Gates, I am a more complete wrestler than you are! Even though I am more than capable of keeping pace with you in the ring, if I want to slow down the pace of the match, I'm more than able to do that. I can, and will, ground you, wearing you down with a wide variety of submission holds meant to stretch you out and tear you down. I can apply a well timed hold that not only causes severe pain to you, but also gives me the opportunity to regain my breath, to rest for a bit, and come out even stronger than I was before! I can work one part of your body until it's rendered practically disabled, and then move onto another limb, just because I can! If you try to actually turn our bout into a wrestling match, then I know that I have the ability to frustrate and confound you to the point where you will become desperate! And when you're desperate, you will make a mistake. I only need you to make one mistake to be able to put you away, C.J., and my in-ring style is built largely around forcing my opponents to do just that. Even my normal weakness of having a relative lack of strength in comparison to my normal opponents is rendered a moot point, because, Ceej, you aren't exactly one of the bigger guys yourself! The way I see it, C.J., you may be gifted, but I am even more so!”
“But beyond my physical gifts that you simply don't possess, C.J., I feel there's an issue of your heart that the odds makers are completely ignoring. During your last rant against me, you said something that I found to be very curious in regards to your desire to hold the APW Undisputed Championship. If you'll allow me to play the clip in question, here it is.”
The video switches to C.J. Gates' promo.
"When I stepped foot in Action Packed Wrestling for the first time, I never would have figured that in one years time I'd be main eventing a Pay-Per-View and have a shot at one of the top belts in the business. Sure, it was a goal of mine at some point, but unlike most I do not set it as the be all end all. I do not make targets of certain championships constantly, only to come up short more often then not. That's just not my style.”
The video switches back to Biggs. He takes off his shades, and has a quizzical look on his face.
”You know, C.J., the part that I find to be the most baffling is the point where you said that you didn't set the APW Undisputed Championship as your end-all-be-all, basically saying that you were more content to flounder in the midcard than even try to take your crack at the top any chance you got! Now I know what I'm about to say is quite frankly a cliché, but it's one that rings true nonetheless. If you aren't here to become APW Undisputed Champion, then what the heck are you doing here!? To say that it's always been a goal of yours, but then to nonchalantly dismiss it, saying that your career does not revolve around gaining this prestigious title, well, that's not just an insult to me and my title, but to this very business! You tried to backtrack a little later on, saying that you really wanted to fight me for the belt, but by that point, the damage had already done. You may think that it's merely a matter of perspective, that it somehow makes you seem like a more respectable person if you aren't completely consumed with the idea of being the champion. You might be trying to paint a picture of me to where I'm like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, where I'm so obsessed with keeping the APW Undisputed Championship, that it has become my precious, to where I will do anything, and I mean absolutely anything, to keep it.”
“The fact is, C.J., with those very words, you showed me exactly what kind of person you are, what kind of competitor you are, what kind of champion you would be if I were somehow to relinquish this title to you, that being not a very good one! As if Survive & Conquer wasn't enough proof of your lack of a killer instinct, this just puts the nail in the coffin! Quite simply, C.J., you are not willing to do whatever it takes to become the APW Undisputed Champion. You try to hide it behind a sense of honor, trying to puff yourself up as some Knight in Shining Armor, when in reality, you are merely too scarred to do what must be done. You care too much about what others think about you. And that is why you will not be able to beat me at Shockwave tomorrow.”
“C.J. Gates, I take all your comments about me being a cheat and liar as a compliment. The fact that I'm able to have such a reputation means that not only do you have to prepare yourself for my considerable in-ring skill, but you also have to be aware of any and every way that I might try to pull a fast one on you! There is quite simply too much for you to be able to prepare for, no matter how much you try. Because as smart as you think you are, C.J., there's no way that you're going to be able to contemplate each and every way I might be able to get an unfair advantage in our contest. This also benefits me because if you put too much thought in how I might be able to break the rules at any point, it will distract you from my more legitimate offense. Either way, C.J., it gives me absolute control of the match.”
Biggs throws out a sly grin before continuing to speak.
”You have been imploring me to fight you in an honorable match, C.J., one in which I don't cheat. You have asked me to show you respect, not only for what you've been able to accomplish these past eight months, but in the spirit of competition. Now I'll be honest, C.J., there was a small part of me that considered listening to you, that really thought long and hard about maybe, just this once, handicapping myself in that ring by choosing not to utilize this tool which I've finely honed over the years. But considering that you didn't show my APW Undisputed Championship the respect it deserves, I feel the need to show you the respect you deserve, and that's none! I'm not going to limit myself just to give you a fighting chance, C.J., that's not how I compete! Each and every time I step out into that ring, I am in it to win it, and especially more so when I have a title on the line! What kind of champion would I be if I didn't use every weapon I had in my arsenal to make sure that I retained possession of my precious?”
Biggs chuckles a bit after pulling out his little Gollum impression there.
”Sorry, I just had to that. Call me self indulgent, but the fact is, I have earned that right! And another fact, C.J., is that despite every way that you've tried to assassinate my character heading into this match, I'm not as bad a guy as you think I am! Am I a good man? No, not by any stretch of the imagination. But if I was really as morally corrupt as you say that I am, don't you think I would have given myself a shot at the APW Undisputed Championship when I was the General Manager of Overdrive? But I didn't C.J., because contrary to what you've claimed, C.J., I have earned absolutely everything I've gotten here in APW! I may have done it with means that you wouldn't even consider using, C.J., but no matter how I've achieved my goals, I have achieved them! That's more than you can say right now, C.J., because even though you've won Test for the Best, you still haven't won the big one. It's really been a theme over the course of your career, though. Survive & Conquer, the Ascension Tournament, The Extreme Tournament, which admittedly I fell short in myself, but now also, in your bid to become APW Undisputed Champion at Shockwave, history will repeat itself, and you will fall again!”
“The facts speak for themselves, C.J., you are not as big of a deal as you think yourself to be! I was right to insist that you concede the opening slot of the first Overdrive to my APW Undisputed Championship victory celebration, because as much as you like to think you accomplished something by beating three other opponents in one night in the Test for the Best tournament, the bottom line is that your job is only half complete! Your victory in the tournament will be all for naught unless you manage to defeat me for my title tomorrow night. Even if somewhere else down the line you somehow manage to best me for the Undisputed Championship, if you do not win tomorrow night, then your Test for the Best win will be meaningless! It only gave you a shot at the championship, not the championship itself!”
“So I guess in conclusion, C.J., the simple fact of the matter is that you are doomed to fail tomorrow night in this very ring. It's not because of a lack of physical gifts or skill, it's quite simply because of a lack of heart. You've prided yourself on being the good guy, being the one the fans can count on week in and week out to not be selfish, to do the 'right' thing. C.J., I'm telling you that if you want to take this title from me, you will have to be selfish! You will have to do things that you don't want to do! Because I'm not giving up this title on a whim! I'm not giving up this title without the fight of my life! If you want to take it from me, you will have to go to the very depths you say that you are not willing to go to! If you are to beat me, C.J., you will have to become the Black Knight! Because I'll be darned if I let you take my title without me throwing absolutely everything I've got at you! I don't care how I win, only that I do win! And that is what separates us in the end, C.J. Gates, is that there are lines that you will not cross, while I dance over them gleefully!”
“Will everything I have done to get me to this point come back to haunt me when it's all said and done? Will I have to one day pay for all of my actions? Maybe so, maybe not. But I can tell you this, C.J., you sure as heck aren't going to be the one to collect on them!”
“You like to say 'Go Big or Go Home!' Well, C.J., I am Biggs, and I will make you go home! Why? Because I am what I say that I am, the APW Undisputed Champion, and a man who is quite simply OUT OF THIS WORLD! See you tomorrow night.”
“Spacewalker” plays again as the screen fades to black and the APW logo and copyright flash across the bottom of the screen.
”Yeah, yeah, Melvin, we've got plenty of time to finish this before eight. We just got to make sure we get this right!”
At the moment, I'm standing in the backyard of a man I just met a couple of hours ago, Melvin Myers. Actually, calling him a man is far too generous, as the guy's never really grown up. Still, he and his friends answered my Craigslist listing asking for LARPers who would be willing to make a video with me, so I guess beggars can't be choosers.
Melvin is a bit heavy set, with slightly wavy orange hair, and he normally wears glasses, although not when he's in costume. He's currently dressed like a Viking warrior, complete with a large fur cape and an horned helmet. He carries a boffing Axe, and insists that we refer to him as Hemdel the Destroyer.
He has four other friends there with him, all of whom are extremely socially awkward, but I guess that's to be expected of folks who participate in live action roleplaying. There's Scott, who's a rail thin, greasy haired rouge, although he really lacks the dashing charm that all the best rouges have. Also, he has severe acne, which I'll obviously have to edit out in post-production of this video.
Next to Scott is Lawrence, who actually seems to be pretty normal save for the fact that he LARPs. He's dressed up in a green tunic, with a pointy hat, fake pointy ears, and dark brown boots. He carries a bow, and has a quiver full of large nerf arrows. His long, blonde hair is tied back into a ponytail.
The obligatory dwarf role is filled by Billy. Billy is short and squat, exactly what you would imagine a dwarf to look like. He has on a fake beard, and chain mail he tells me he found at the local flee market. He carries a large foam hammer, and pretends that his root beer is actual beer. Billy also speaks in an almost comical deep voice, if only because you know he's faking it.
The group is rounded out by the lone female in the party, a gal by the name of Nancy. She has flowing blonde hair, similar to Lawrence's, and she's also sporting elf ears. She's dressed up as a mage, complete with bright blue flowing robes, a white scarf, and a walking stick that she pretends is her staff. From what I can gather, her and Lawrence seem to be an item, hence the other guys not swarming her and trying to impress her.
I myself am dressed up in a black suit of armor that I'm renting from a local costume shop, and have borrowed one of Melvin's boffing swords. Considering C.J.'s little story time, in which he called me the Black Knight, I decided that I would fight fire with fire, embracing the label, and film a video using the fantasy theme C.J. established with his little bed time story. Yet while this may have seemed sound in theory, I'm quickly finding it to be more trouble than it's worth.
”Well, I'm just saying, we have about five hours until eight o'clock, and I just want to make sure that we're done by eight o'clock, because even though I've seen every episode three times already, I can't wait to watch the first three episodes again for a forth!” Melvin whines, trying to make his point perfectly clear that we have to be done before he has his friends over to watch Game of Thrones.
”Don't worry, Melvin! We only need about 10 minutes of footage, which we can easily get in five hours! Just shut up about Game of Thrones!” Scott interjects.
”Hey! Don't you diss Thrones! Just because it's too complicated for you to understand doesn't mean you can knock it!”
”I'm not mocking it, I'm just saying that we have plenty of time to get this video done if you quit talking about that show! And it's not too complicated, it's just too boring!”
”Why you!” Melvin shouts as he swings his pretend Axe at Scott. Scott awkwardly rolls out of the way with about as much grace as a three legged dog, and pops back up to his feet, drawing both of his daggers. He and Melvin then partake in one of the most pathetic attempts at fake combat I've ever seen, throwing cliché and quite frankly painful quips back and forth. Eventually, Scott overextends himself trying to “stab” Melvin, and Melvin his able to hit him with his axe.
”I just got a critical hit! You lose 10 life!” Melvin shouts triumphantly. As Scott begins to make his way back up to his feet, Melvin takes another swing, and misses, allowing Scott to get behind him and hit him in the back with both daggers.
”Haha! I get Sneak Attack Damage on top of my normal times-2 damage modifier because I'm wielding fire daggers! You take 23 damage!”
”Well because I'm bloodied, I invoke Berserker Rage, which ups my attack, strength, speed and defense by 5 points apiece! Watch out!”
Ellie just stands there with the camera, shaking her head. I find it hilarious, and am trying as hard as I can to not bust out laughing. I lean over to Ellie, and whisper, ”You're recording this, right?”
”Every minute...” she mutters as she rolls her eyes.
Scott and Melvin continue to go at it for another minute or two before Melvin holds his hand up and calls for time out. He's breathing heavily and is sweating profusely in his viking gear.
”Just a minute. I'm out of breath...” Melvin pants between breaths.
Scott doesn't heed his words, instead lunging in for the pretend killing blow! He stabs Melvin as he cries out, ”Real warriors don't call for timeout in the heat of battle! I win!”
”You lousy cheat! I was almost ready to continue! That's it! I'm out of here!”
”Can we still use your backyard to film my video?” I ask as Melvin huffs off.
”Only if Scott admits that he was wrong, and that Game of Thrones is an awesome show!” Melvin huffs.
”Never! The books were better, and even then, only marginally so!”
”Then why would you read them if you thought they were boring, Scott?” Ellie asks, not understanding anything that's been going on in the last 10 minutes.
Scott stops to think about this for a moment, and Melvin stays, if only because he wants to hear the answers. ”Well, because Melvin's my friend, and he puts up with me raving about Lord of the Rings, so I guess it's only fair that I give his favorite thing a try. Plus, he kept saying they got better as they went along...”
”I'll admit, I felt the same way about Dune. I only read it because my buddy absolutely loved it, and I kept asking him when did it pick up, and when I told him which part I was at, he said that it should have already picked up. I know exactly where you're coming from, Scott,” I say.
We all look at Melvin, waiting to hear what his response is. His eyes dart around the group, looking at everyone while we can see the wheels in his head turning, before he finally replies, ”Well, I guess I'll stay! I mean, if Scott would be willing to read through all those novels just for my sake, I guess he's a really good friend!” Melvin offers his fist out for daps, which Scott gives him.
”Okay, now that we've got the mushy part out of the way, let's get to business. Does everyone here remember what our basic outline is?” I ask, wanting to make sure that we're all on the same page before we begin actual filming.
Billy raises his stubby arm.
”You don't need to raise your arm, Billy. You can just talk. We're all adults here.”
Billy's eyes light up, I guess because nobody's ever called him an adult before. It wouldn't surprise me if this were actually the case. He responds in his fake deep voice, ”We are to represent the challenges you have faced en route to winning the APW Undisputed Championship, which in our context is represented by the precious grail set upon the tree stump over yonder.”
”Exactly! Now we're just going to ad-lib this whole thing, because I'm assuming with as much experience as you all have LARPing, you know how to do that. So if you all are ready, why don't we take our positions?”
Scott raises his hand. ”I have a question.”
”First off, Scott, you don't need to raise your hand. Secondly, what's your question?”
Scott has a serious look on his face as he states his question, ”Well, considering how much more experienced we are in this than you are, you can't possibly have enough experience points to be of a sufficient level to be able to defeat all of us by yourself. Maybe we should split up into teams?”
Lawrence interrupts before I have an opportunity to answer Scott's question. ”That defeats the purpose of the video. We're just here to help Biggs out, make him look good, and get paid for it at the end. This doesn't count for anything!”
”So we aren't getting experience points for this?” Scott asks with a puzzled tone in his voice.
”Nope,” Lawrence plainly answers.
”So the experience I earned in beating Melvin right here doesn't count?”
”Again, nope.”
”Then what's the point!?” Scott yells out indignantly. He tosses his daggers to the ground and crosses his arms across his chest.
”Listen, I'm paying you guys fifty dollars apiece to film this, and the quicker we get this done, the better rate of pay it is for the lot of you,” I blurt out, getting impatient with all the arguing and general stalling going on.
”What are these dollars you speak of. Are they some sort of yet unknown currency?” Billy pops in, trying to be in character.
”You've got to be kidding me... Fine then. Would it motivate you if I said I was paying you fifty gold apiece to complete this quest? Would that work!?”
”Well, you're asking us to sacrifice our honor and dignity for a mere fifty gold apiece. For me to knowingly take the fall, I would need somewhere in the neighborhood of fifty-five gold!”
”Fine, I'll add five dollars apiece!” I'm starting to get really frustrated by this point.
”Again, these dollars you speak of, what are they?” Billy pipes up, still in character.
By this point, I'm about ready to snap. I know that I have some geekish tendencies, but these guys are really taking things too far. ”Five gold! I meant to say five gold! Are you happy!?”
”Yes, quite..” Billy says smugly, briefly forgetting to use his fake deep voice.
”Okay. If everyone could please take their places, anywhere you want between me and the tree stump, we're going to start rolling when my wife yells action.”
Melvin and Billy take the front, Scott in the middle, and Lawrence & Nancy in the back. ”We're set up optimally, with the tanks in the front, mage in the back! You can't possibly break our defenses!”
”We're supposed to let him break our defenses, remember! Otherwise we don't get the fifty five dollars apiece!” Nancy chirps from the back.
”Again, I must ask, what are these dollars!?”
”Cram it, Billy! We're about to start!” Scott yells out.
Ellie gets in position behind the stump, looking to film me approaching the grail for the first shot. ”Okay, everyone, we start rolling in three, two, one, action!” she directs as I charge towards the party. I quickly dispose of Melvin by nailing him with the sword, and shove Billy aside. Scott tries to stab into my underarm area, but I block the blow and slash him from the side with the sword. He falls down in feign pain. Lawrence is trying to his me with his foam arrows, but is missing horribly, while Nancy points her staff at me and makes face electricity sounds, while mumbling about how she keeps missing me. As I get in close, the two of them run away, leaving nobody to stop me from reaching the grail. Right as I'm about to grab a hold of it, I get nailed in the back with such force that I fall forwards! The suit of armor makes it difficult to even roll over onto my back, and Lawrence and Nancy help me to turn over while Billy is arguing with Melvin and Scott.
”You knaves! We were supposed to let him reach the grail! Now we shall not receive our fifty-five gold!”
”My honor cannot be sold for such a measly sum! I shall require at least 10 more gold!”
”Plus we want experience for vanquishing the Black Knight!”
”Now don't get greedy! We had a good thing going here! How else are we going to get paid while being dressed like this!? Don't ruin this for me and Nancy!”
”Oh, so this is only about you and Nancy! It's always about you and Nancy! Never about me and Nancy, or Melvin and Nancy, or even Billy and Nancy! I'm sick and tired of you flaunting the fact that you have a girlfriend and we don't! That doesn't make you any better than us!” Scott yells, his face turning red with anger.
The males all continue to argue amongst one another as Nancy kneels down next to me to talk. ”I take it we're probably not going to get paid the fifty-five dollars apiece now, are we?”
”Well, the deal was that you all would help me film a video. But with the way these guys are arguing, I don't think we'll be able to get it done, at least not before Melvin's show. Not at this rate at least...” I reply. ”Still, fair's fair, so because you guys at least made an effort, I will honor my end of the deal.”
Nancy shakes her head. ”No, don't do that. We don't deserve it.”
Ellie and Nancy help me to my feet, and I remove the dark helmet. The guys are still going at it amongst themselves as I let out a loud whistle to get their attention. They immediately stop fighting, and look towards me.
”Well, guys, I don't think this is going to work out the way any of us want it to, so why don't we just call it a wash, and get on with our lives. Ellie and I will be on our way now.”
Billy gets a sad, dejected look on his face. ”So no gold...”
”Well you guys didn't finish the quest, so no gold.”
The group all looks at each other, sullen and upset at the turn of events. ”However, for your valiant effort, I shall take all of you out for pizza!”
All of their faces light up, and suddenly, everyone's happy again. ”We can all take my minivan to the pizza place! It'll be epic!”
”Just so long as we're back by eight! I have to be back by eight for Game of Thrones!” Melvin reminds all of us once more as we all head over to the van.
As we're walking over, Ellie taps me on the shoulder and whispers into my ear, ”So you're really going to the pizza place dressed like that?”
”Why not? You only live once, right!”
So even though I'm not going to be able to make my video mocking C.J. like I planned, at least after today, I can say that I've eaten pizza in a suit of armor. And how many people can truthfully say they done that?
***
Depeche Mode's “Spacewalker” plays as the the words FIRST CONTACT flash across the starry background. The footage switches to Biggs standing alone in the middle of the ring in the Xcel Energy Center. He's dressed in his ring gear, complete with his fancy jacket, signature shades, and the APW Undisputed Championship belt clasped around his waist. Biggs just stands there for a bit, looking around the arena. After a few moments, he looks to the camera, and begins to speak, patting the belt with one hand as he does so.
”This is what it is all about. What I wear around my waist is the culmination of all my hard work, all my efforts over my eight plus year career in this business we call professional wrestling! This is why I wake up every morning and run 10 miles before breakfast. This is why I watch what I eat. This is why I own a state of the art gym. This is why I spend hours upon hours training in rings much like this all around the world. This is why I pour countless hours into watching and studying each and every opponent I face in this ring. This is what it is all about when I take on C.J. Gates tomorrow night in this very ring in the Main Event of APW Shockwave!”
“The fact is that over the course of my career, I have been a World's Champion on three occasions. The first was when I defeated Wilco in a No Holds Barred Match to win the GWE World Heavyweight Title. Sadly, the politics of that fed forced me to vacate the title a mere two weeks into my reign. Still, they could not take away the fact that I beat their golden boy to become the youngest champion ever! My second World Title was earned in the AWE, where I upended Fuzz in his very first title defense to claim the AWE Heavyweight Championship as my own, a title which I held for five months. I don't bring these past reigns up to brag, I don't bring them up to boast, I merely mention them to highlight the point that when I say that winning the APW Undisputed Championship is the greatest honor of my career, that it actually means something when I say that! Believe me, it took everything I had and then some to be able to pull off what many viewed as an improbable upset when I pinned Lester Only's shoulders to the mat and earned the APW Undisputed Championship, taking my place at the top of the mountain in this great sport! Never had I been in a more nerve-wracking situation. Never had I had such a difficult match. But when it was all said and done, when I was able to raise that belt high above my head and soak in the boos and jeers of the crowd, it made all the sacrifices absolutely worth it! I cannot tell you how many birthday parties I've missed, how many invitations to barbeques and the like I've had to turn down over the years, how many friendships and relationships have gone by the wayside. Heck, I even lost my some of my faith along the way, but in the end, knowing that I will forever be known as an APW Undisputed Champion, well, it justified everything! It was proof positive of Machiavelli's principle that the ends justify the means. I am the Undisputed Champion, and nobody can say otherwise.”
“Granted there are those who have tried. There are many that say that I don't deserve the honor of holding this prestigious title, that I am somehow unworthy of it. They point to the fact that I beat Lester while placing my feet on the ropes for leverage. They cite the fact that leading up to our match, I laid Lester out not once, but twice by nailing him with what was at the time his own belt. The fact of the matter is that I did what I had to do, did what I needed to do in order to reach the very heights that I have. One of these people is my opponent tomorrow night, C.J. Gates. Now C.J. you've been one of my most vocal critics, harassing me left and right, calling me a paper champion, saying that the non-existent force of karma will catch up to me. The fact of the matter is C.J., that your analogy of calling me the Black Knight, while a bit over dramatic, is certainly sound. I am not a good man. But I don't claim otherwise. I know exactly who I am, and no matter what you, or any of the idiotic fans, or wrestling journalists say, I defeated Lester Only in a match where the APW Undisputed Championship was on the line, and as such, that makes me champion! You can cry, moan, deride it all you want, the fact is there is a 'W' next to my name in the record books, along with a dandy little “c” to denote the new champion. As of Test for the Best 2011, I am officially the top guy in Action Packed Wrestling!”
“While I'd like to say that this was always going to be a sure thing ever since I first stepped foot in APW, the unfortunate fact of the matter is that this really didn't seem like the case early on. I can't quite put my finger on it, but when I first started here in APW, I couldn't get a win to save my life! I lost in my debut match, getting pinned by Shadow. I lost in my pay per view debut, getting pinned by Mr. Strange. I couldn't understand why I kept on losing, when I was focused on wrestling, while these bums were out and about doing crazy things that I thought quite frankly would be detrimental to a wrestling career. Granted it was only two losses, but still, considering how used to winning I was, I can hardly be blamed for being discouraged. I was ready to call it a wash and leave as quickly as I came, hoping that people would forget this unfortunate blemish on my otherwise stellar career.”
“But then the next week, I picked up my first win. And then another, and another, until I had quite a win streak going. With my confidence restored, I set my sights on Shadow and his Overdrive Championship, and from there, the rest is history! When I won the APW Overdrive Championship from Shadow in that Steel Cage match at Shockwave two years ago, that was the moment where I truly arrived here in APW, and became a force to be reckoned with! Since then, I have held the Overdrive Championship a record three times, with my third reign being arguably the greatest Overdrive Title reign in the history of this organization! I already shared about it on my last show, so I'll just briefly mention it here, but I successfully defended my Overdrive Championship on seven consecutive shows, and all in all, nine title defenses. In an era where most titles change hands like a hot potato, that kind of reign is something to be proud of. But as great of an accomplishment this was, it pales in comparison to what I wish to accomplish with this APW Undisputed Championship clasped around my waist! Because C.J., even though I know I will go down in history as the greatest Overdrive Champion of all time, that's not enough for me! Because I want to go down in history as the greatest APW Undisputed Champion of all time! Now I realize that this will be quite a tall task, considering that Level-One has dominated the title picture for the better part of the last two-and-a-half years, holding the APW Undisputed Championship for a grand total of 538 days to be exact, with his longest reign clocking in at a whopping 266 days. Now there's two ways I can go about surpassing his collective reigns, I can either look at it as beating his record numerically in the amount of days I hold the belt, or I can look at it in terms of successful title defenses. I prefer the latter. Much like I derided Shadow for only defending his Overdrive Championship a grand total of 2 times in five months, I can also deride Level-One for only defending his belt at pay per views. Granted, I realize that our match this Sunday will be my first official title defense, but if I have my way, I'll be able to defend my Undisputed Championship much in the same way I defended my Overdrive Championship, and that is night in and night out, taking on any and all comers. People may not like me, they may not like how I conduct myself, but the fact is, when I went on an absolute tear as Overdrive Champion, they had no choice but to respect me! And I intend on doing the same exact thing with this Undisputed Title!”
“Granted, all of this hinges on me being able to defeat you tomorrow night in this very ring. And while I'm extremely confident in this happening, even I must acknowledge that it won't be a small feat beating you. As you've alluded to, you've had an absolutely great year by anybody's standards. However, if you look deeper into the specificities of your year, then we start to see the cracks, we start to see the things that could potentially, and in the case of our match this Sunday, actually will prevent you from being able to become the APW Undisputed Champion. It's best to start at the beginning, with Survive & Conquer. You are right to say that not many people expected you to get to the final four, because quite frankly, you hadn't given anyone any reason to think that you could. Prior to S&C, you were primarily known as a tag team specialist, holding the titles with Blade. But while you were able to make it to the Steel Cage portion of the match up, the fact is you could have, and should have, made it to at least the final three. But you thought that you had to be the White Knight, the shining beacon of good morals, and you allowed Sally Talfourd to climb out of the cage while you continued to battle Ryan Ruckus. From there, Ruckus managed to eliminate you from the match. And while it didn't quite prove the axiom that nice guys finish last, you certainly proved that nice guys don't finish first!”
“From there, you and Blade tried unsuccessfully to recapture the APW Tag Titles, perhaps the only blemish on your year thus far. Following this, you got embroiled in a bitter and personal feud with Sally Talfourd, in which you won not once, but twice! As much as it shames me to admit it, you've done something that I have not been able to do thus far in my career, but I think the fact that I beat Lester with the title on the line is a more impressive feat! From there, you went on to win Test for the Best, which gets you to where you are at now, that being the #1 Contender for my APW Undisputed Championship.”
“You've been a fast rising star here in APW, C.J., there's no doubt about that. And while I took a more let's say scenic route to getting to where I am today, the fact is, C.J. that when we meet in this ring tomorrow night, you will find out first hand why the tortoise beat the hare! I have been nothing but consistent in my two plus years here in APW! I may not have blazed a trail to the main event scene, as I had to wait two years to even get a shot at the APW Undisputed Championship, but now that I'm here, I have no intentions of leaving anytime soon! This is my time, C.J., not yours! I'm not saying that you didn't earn your way into this match, I'm just saying that you didn't have to work nearly as hard as I did. You didn't have to toil, sweat, and sacrifice to the extent which I did! And if you think that I'm just going to lie down for you, let you take my title, and turn me into nothing more than a transitional champion, than you are dead wrong!”
“The odds makers are saying that our match tomorrow night, C.J., is one of the most evenly matched contests for the APW Undisputed Championship of all time! The so-called experts think that it can really go either way. And I don't blame them for thinking that way. Sure they may be wrong, but it's easy to see why they think you and I are on equal footing in this ring. Just a quick look at our styles. Both of us employ very quick, very high-paced styles that are very hard for our adversaries to keep up with. Both of us are extremely well conditioned to where we could easily go an hour in this ring and still have enough gas in the tank to go an hour more. Both of us can fly with the best of them. Heck, we're practically the same size! I outweigh you by a scant two pounds, while you have an inch or two on me in height and probably reach.”
“You are great at what you do, C.J. You're one of the best high fliers in the business today. But then again, so am I, not to mention so much more. Because while you can fly and scrap with the best of them, your technical acumen is not nearly as sharp as mine. You're plenty good at flying, flipping, and dodging around the ring, but in terms of counter wrestling, you cannot even dream of holding a candle to me! And let's not forget your non-existent submission skills! Your best bet to win a match is to overwhelm your opponent with a flurry of offense that is just so darn quick that they can't do anything about it. And that normally works out just fine for you, because you're faster than your opponents. But that won't work on me. Simply put, C.J. Gates, I am a more complete wrestler than you are! Even though I am more than capable of keeping pace with you in the ring, if I want to slow down the pace of the match, I'm more than able to do that. I can, and will, ground you, wearing you down with a wide variety of submission holds meant to stretch you out and tear you down. I can apply a well timed hold that not only causes severe pain to you, but also gives me the opportunity to regain my breath, to rest for a bit, and come out even stronger than I was before! I can work one part of your body until it's rendered practically disabled, and then move onto another limb, just because I can! If you try to actually turn our bout into a wrestling match, then I know that I have the ability to frustrate and confound you to the point where you will become desperate! And when you're desperate, you will make a mistake. I only need you to make one mistake to be able to put you away, C.J., and my in-ring style is built largely around forcing my opponents to do just that. Even my normal weakness of having a relative lack of strength in comparison to my normal opponents is rendered a moot point, because, Ceej, you aren't exactly one of the bigger guys yourself! The way I see it, C.J., you may be gifted, but I am even more so!”
“But beyond my physical gifts that you simply don't possess, C.J., I feel there's an issue of your heart that the odds makers are completely ignoring. During your last rant against me, you said something that I found to be very curious in regards to your desire to hold the APW Undisputed Championship. If you'll allow me to play the clip in question, here it is.”
The video switches to C.J. Gates' promo.
"When I stepped foot in Action Packed Wrestling for the first time, I never would have figured that in one years time I'd be main eventing a Pay-Per-View and have a shot at one of the top belts in the business. Sure, it was a goal of mine at some point, but unlike most I do not set it as the be all end all. I do not make targets of certain championships constantly, only to come up short more often then not. That's just not my style.”
The video switches back to Biggs. He takes off his shades, and has a quizzical look on his face.
”You know, C.J., the part that I find to be the most baffling is the point where you said that you didn't set the APW Undisputed Championship as your end-all-be-all, basically saying that you were more content to flounder in the midcard than even try to take your crack at the top any chance you got! Now I know what I'm about to say is quite frankly a cliché, but it's one that rings true nonetheless. If you aren't here to become APW Undisputed Champion, then what the heck are you doing here!? To say that it's always been a goal of yours, but then to nonchalantly dismiss it, saying that your career does not revolve around gaining this prestigious title, well, that's not just an insult to me and my title, but to this very business! You tried to backtrack a little later on, saying that you really wanted to fight me for the belt, but by that point, the damage had already done. You may think that it's merely a matter of perspective, that it somehow makes you seem like a more respectable person if you aren't completely consumed with the idea of being the champion. You might be trying to paint a picture of me to where I'm like Gollum from Lord of the Rings, where I'm so obsessed with keeping the APW Undisputed Championship, that it has become my precious, to where I will do anything, and I mean absolutely anything, to keep it.”
“The fact is, C.J., with those very words, you showed me exactly what kind of person you are, what kind of competitor you are, what kind of champion you would be if I were somehow to relinquish this title to you, that being not a very good one! As if Survive & Conquer wasn't enough proof of your lack of a killer instinct, this just puts the nail in the coffin! Quite simply, C.J., you are not willing to do whatever it takes to become the APW Undisputed Champion. You try to hide it behind a sense of honor, trying to puff yourself up as some Knight in Shining Armor, when in reality, you are merely too scarred to do what must be done. You care too much about what others think about you. And that is why you will not be able to beat me at Shockwave tomorrow.”
“C.J. Gates, I take all your comments about me being a cheat and liar as a compliment. The fact that I'm able to have such a reputation means that not only do you have to prepare yourself for my considerable in-ring skill, but you also have to be aware of any and every way that I might try to pull a fast one on you! There is quite simply too much for you to be able to prepare for, no matter how much you try. Because as smart as you think you are, C.J., there's no way that you're going to be able to contemplate each and every way I might be able to get an unfair advantage in our contest. This also benefits me because if you put too much thought in how I might be able to break the rules at any point, it will distract you from my more legitimate offense. Either way, C.J., it gives me absolute control of the match.”
Biggs throws out a sly grin before continuing to speak.
”You have been imploring me to fight you in an honorable match, C.J., one in which I don't cheat. You have asked me to show you respect, not only for what you've been able to accomplish these past eight months, but in the spirit of competition. Now I'll be honest, C.J., there was a small part of me that considered listening to you, that really thought long and hard about maybe, just this once, handicapping myself in that ring by choosing not to utilize this tool which I've finely honed over the years. But considering that you didn't show my APW Undisputed Championship the respect it deserves, I feel the need to show you the respect you deserve, and that's none! I'm not going to limit myself just to give you a fighting chance, C.J., that's not how I compete! Each and every time I step out into that ring, I am in it to win it, and especially more so when I have a title on the line! What kind of champion would I be if I didn't use every weapon I had in my arsenal to make sure that I retained possession of my precious?”
Biggs chuckles a bit after pulling out his little Gollum impression there.
”Sorry, I just had to that. Call me self indulgent, but the fact is, I have earned that right! And another fact, C.J., is that despite every way that you've tried to assassinate my character heading into this match, I'm not as bad a guy as you think I am! Am I a good man? No, not by any stretch of the imagination. But if I was really as morally corrupt as you say that I am, don't you think I would have given myself a shot at the APW Undisputed Championship when I was the General Manager of Overdrive? But I didn't C.J., because contrary to what you've claimed, C.J., I have earned absolutely everything I've gotten here in APW! I may have done it with means that you wouldn't even consider using, C.J., but no matter how I've achieved my goals, I have achieved them! That's more than you can say right now, C.J., because even though you've won Test for the Best, you still haven't won the big one. It's really been a theme over the course of your career, though. Survive & Conquer, the Ascension Tournament, The Extreme Tournament, which admittedly I fell short in myself, but now also, in your bid to become APW Undisputed Champion at Shockwave, history will repeat itself, and you will fall again!”
“The facts speak for themselves, C.J., you are not as big of a deal as you think yourself to be! I was right to insist that you concede the opening slot of the first Overdrive to my APW Undisputed Championship victory celebration, because as much as you like to think you accomplished something by beating three other opponents in one night in the Test for the Best tournament, the bottom line is that your job is only half complete! Your victory in the tournament will be all for naught unless you manage to defeat me for my title tomorrow night. Even if somewhere else down the line you somehow manage to best me for the Undisputed Championship, if you do not win tomorrow night, then your Test for the Best win will be meaningless! It only gave you a shot at the championship, not the championship itself!”
“So I guess in conclusion, C.J., the simple fact of the matter is that you are doomed to fail tomorrow night in this very ring. It's not because of a lack of physical gifts or skill, it's quite simply because of a lack of heart. You've prided yourself on being the good guy, being the one the fans can count on week in and week out to not be selfish, to do the 'right' thing. C.J., I'm telling you that if you want to take this title from me, you will have to be selfish! You will have to do things that you don't want to do! Because I'm not giving up this title on a whim! I'm not giving up this title without the fight of my life! If you want to take it from me, you will have to go to the very depths you say that you are not willing to go to! If you are to beat me, C.J., you will have to become the Black Knight! Because I'll be darned if I let you take my title without me throwing absolutely everything I've got at you! I don't care how I win, only that I do win! And that is what separates us in the end, C.J. Gates, is that there are lines that you will not cross, while I dance over them gleefully!”
“Will everything I have done to get me to this point come back to haunt me when it's all said and done? Will I have to one day pay for all of my actions? Maybe so, maybe not. But I can tell you this, C.J., you sure as heck aren't going to be the one to collect on them!”
“You like to say 'Go Big or Go Home!' Well, C.J., I am Biggs, and I will make you go home! Why? Because I am what I say that I am, the APW Undisputed Champion, and a man who is quite simply OUT OF THIS WORLD! See you tomorrow night.”
“Spacewalker” plays again as the screen fades to black and the APW logo and copyright flash across the bottom of the screen.
