Post by Johnny "True Brit" Brown on Sept 4, 2011 2:51:10 GMT -4
Main Event RP
Alright blood.
In my homeland that would be a greeting, next week at Asylum in Portland, Oregon, it will be a cheer from the APW crowd and signify the end of somebody's shot at the APW World Heavyweight Championship.
The man so cool 007 is jealous is resting on his Triumph, after a long ride. He is sitting outside the service entrance (Freudian choice?) having dodged the crowd of ring rats gathered around the front of the hotel, motel, holiday Innnnn used by the APW Megastars when they are in the area. The house show tonight was the big clue. Johnny Brown prefers his gutters to be less used and will never stir another man's porridge so always avoids the rats and looks to find a virgin to sacrifice at his flagpole.
The crowd will be praying for blood like the uneducated savages they are. It hails back to the days of public hangings, it's almost human cock-fighting.
The crowd are calling for their favourite to spill the blood of their victim. This isn’t about the submissions like my Tap-Out title match earlier in the evening, it's not about pinfalls as most WRESTLING matches are. This is about tearing, shredding or straight out smashing an opponent body until it ruptures sending a waterfall of haemoglobin spurting into the air.
The very substance that should be considered more valuable than gold is thought so little of that it will be smeared across the canvas like paint.
Thousands die every year due to extreme blood loss yet APW in it's wisdom decides to dedicate a high profile match to the honor of spilling the life giving liquid. It's sick.
wiv that said, I’m going to smacking the $hit out of anyone that is stupid enough to get in my way. The only chance I have of getting eliminated is if I beat ya so hard I cut myself open punching and headbutting my opposition.
I don’t care if Kash is looking for round two or if any of the others want to try an' stop my ascension to the top. After our earlier clash Kash wont be in any shape to survive this match. I realise the clever money will be on him and his boy wonder Shane Borderland ganging up on me in an effort to garner some kinda revenge for my title winning effort earlier in the evening. Organised Violence are a good team, maybe even great; but damn bruv they have massive ego's.
Before ya do Kash's dirty work Shane, what's gonna 'appen if it comes down to the pair of ya? Will he step aside or will he demand that ya do?
I think we both know the answer ta that one. Be a man Borders let Kash fight his own fight and we can all let the cards fall where they may.
Everyone knows I’m the true favourite in this match.
I've been called Asylum's fastest rising Megastar, for once the powers that be have got it right. Rico Casteel knows his time has come, he barely managed to survive Overdrive wiv his gold. Sure he beat two men but neither have my mixture of power and ability. BDC doesn’t have the nuts he needs in this business to survive. He took a hit and rather than get up an' fight. What kinda man is so scared of choking during the big fight he stays down?!
Just think about that for a minute; he had a chance to win the World strap and he played dead.
Even Branden Harvey wiv his tiny acorn nuts stuck at it, even though he was clearly in over his head. Don't fret Dopey I’m sure ya and the rest of the seven dwarves as used to be the underdogs, you've even made a pretty good career out of it.
On Sunday ya will once again wow the fans wiv ya flips and jumps, ya can shake your pom-poms like the glorified cheerleader ya are it won't matter.
Take my advice Happy get yer tiny nuts; dip them in the finest fertiliser the Rose City has and maybe just maybe they'll grow big enough to give ya to stand toe to toe wiv me for a whole match. Or maybe you'll stink of shit an' the fans in the front four rows will throw up. If not from the smell it will be when see the plasma spraying from your ruptured veins. If I have to reach into your flesh and pull them out meself I will.
That act will pale in comparison to what I’m gonna do to the rest of the chumps,
Chumps like Chris Cyrus.... the Suicidal Champion... what can I say that pretty much sums up ya chances in this match. ya may proclaim yerself as Simply Awesome! The future of the business, an' who knows that may even be true, the problem I 'ave is how can an APW original be called the future, you've been here longer than anyone. Yet 'aven't reached the top, that speaks volume dontcha think?.
I'm not fazed by ya being a Grandslam champion, to me that just makes ya a bigger target. When ever I look at yer smug grin all I can see is a bullseye, so ya can gather up yer over-used catchphrases
From the longest serving Megastar we switch to one of the newest...
...Manhattan White- What kinda name is that? Guess that don't matter when ya blow the bosses! OK that was unfounded, I guess I hafta expect a law suit now typical American! Oh well in fer a penny in fer a pound...
... how else do ya explain some chumps walks straight onto PPV in his debut match while I have to fight through a battle royal to even earn a PPV pay day. Ta me Whitey this is personal, I'll loving the chance to show the bosses they backed the wrong horse. Yer claims of how violent the place is are laughable. Everyone is this business has to be dysfunctional to survive, what did interest me as me sponsors sent through info about Camden, is that three mayors have been jailed for corruption. That explains how ya got a PPV shot from the get-go, yer corrupted APW wiv yer Jersey slime.
I'm no hero but this place is officially a part of me new Empire and ya ain’t taking it down. After I’m finished wiv ya yer hafta change yer name to Manhattan Claret cos you'll be swimming in it.
The Fuzztones once sang the third time's the charm...
... regardless of Rudi's words of wisdom Tommy Knoxville do ya really think that ya can beat me? During me short APW career we've met twice and yer lost twice, short of ya bringing a blade wiv ya what chance do ya really have? That ain't a knock on yer talent but the facts are clear. I 'ave yer number.
Brown 3, Knoxville 0, get yer laughing gear around that “Ironman”!
In this match there is only one guy that I don’t really wanna smash into jelly an' that’s me fellow Brit (even if he is a Yid) Mike Morrison. Bruv is crazy, he would probably cut himself fer shits and giggles.
Dude is def a slice short of a loaf, as English gentlemen we will abide by the rules and spill each others scarlet on the canvas like a classic Constable landscape.
Next Sunday at Asylum Portland will live up to it's Rip City nickname when 8 men will aim to rip the flesh from another.
Only one man will stand tall while the others will lay bloodied and beaten.
That one man will be “Cool Britannia”, the “True Brit” Johnny Brown.
APW better stock up on aspirin or whatever they're called over 'ere.
In little over a week seven men are gonna get their HEADS kicked in!
A thick wad of spit hits the tarmac as Johnny swings his leg over his baby and takes his back pack off. He cricks his necks and works lose a tweak in his shoulder.
Oh Johnny I knew you would come!
Aw shit Jolene!!! I've told ya not ta follow me.
In England had ninjas Johnny would be one. wiv appearing to move he crosses the space between them and pins his stalker to the wall by the throat, she gaps trying to explain.
I'm not Jolene any more, I'm Joanie Brown; I've changed my name. I did it for you!
Switching his hand from her throat to her jaw to shut her up Johnny lets go in his now trademark tirade style.
So ya want to be me bitch do ya?! Careful whatca wish fer sweetheart. These are the rules of being me bitch.
I am the only one that is allowed to through ya a bone, front or back. Ya can suck pipe but always spit and clean yer teeth 10 times before yer even speak to me. Ya will be at every hotel before me wiv everything on me itinerary.
If yer late or don't arrive I’ll find ya and I’ll smack ya, if ya forget anything I'll smack ya, if ya bend the truth or I think yer bending the truth I’ll smack ya, If ya cry when I smack ya, I'll smack ya again. In fact yer gonna hafta work very hard to not get smacked.
First thing yer need to do is ta Eliza Doolittle that accident, ya have no idea what I’m on about do ya?
Family Guy season 3 episode 4, If ya speak in yer Southern drawl in front of me again...
You'll smack me?
Brown smiles, pleased with himself.
That's right, ya wanted it “Joanie” ya've got it. Now get me bags bitch!
The look of sycophantic love blinks out for a minute, changing to absolute terror before returning and plastering a big smile across the former waitresses face. She had been accepted by her dream man, ever since she gave herself to him she knew this day would come. She couldn't be happier; could she?...
Alright blood.
In my homeland that would be a greeting, next week at Asylum in Portland, Oregon, it will be a cheer from the APW crowd and signify the end of somebody's shot at the APW World Heavyweight Championship.
The man so cool 007 is jealous is resting on his Triumph, after a long ride. He is sitting outside the service entrance (Freudian choice?) having dodged the crowd of ring rats gathered around the front of the hotel, motel, holiday Innnnn used by the APW Megastars when they are in the area. The house show tonight was the big clue. Johnny Brown prefers his gutters to be less used and will never stir another man's porridge so always avoids the rats and looks to find a virgin to sacrifice at his flagpole.
The crowd will be praying for blood like the uneducated savages they are. It hails back to the days of public hangings, it's almost human cock-fighting.
The crowd are calling for their favourite to spill the blood of their victim. This isn’t about the submissions like my Tap-Out title match earlier in the evening, it's not about pinfalls as most WRESTLING matches are. This is about tearing, shredding or straight out smashing an opponent body until it ruptures sending a waterfall of haemoglobin spurting into the air.
The very substance that should be considered more valuable than gold is thought so little of that it will be smeared across the canvas like paint.
Thousands die every year due to extreme blood loss yet APW in it's wisdom decides to dedicate a high profile match to the honor of spilling the life giving liquid. It's sick.
wiv that said, I’m going to smacking the $hit out of anyone that is stupid enough to get in my way. The only chance I have of getting eliminated is if I beat ya so hard I cut myself open punching and headbutting my opposition.
I don’t care if Kash is looking for round two or if any of the others want to try an' stop my ascension to the top. After our earlier clash Kash wont be in any shape to survive this match. I realise the clever money will be on him and his boy wonder Shane Borderland ganging up on me in an effort to garner some kinda revenge for my title winning effort earlier in the evening. Organised Violence are a good team, maybe even great; but damn bruv they have massive ego's.
Before ya do Kash's dirty work Shane, what's gonna 'appen if it comes down to the pair of ya? Will he step aside or will he demand that ya do?
I think we both know the answer ta that one. Be a man Borders let Kash fight his own fight and we can all let the cards fall where they may.
Everyone knows I’m the true favourite in this match.
I've been called Asylum's fastest rising Megastar, for once the powers that be have got it right. Rico Casteel knows his time has come, he barely managed to survive Overdrive wiv his gold. Sure he beat two men but neither have my mixture of power and ability. BDC doesn’t have the nuts he needs in this business to survive. He took a hit and rather than get up an' fight. What kinda man is so scared of choking during the big fight he stays down?!
Just think about that for a minute; he had a chance to win the World strap and he played dead.
Even Branden Harvey wiv his tiny acorn nuts stuck at it, even though he was clearly in over his head. Don't fret Dopey I’m sure ya and the rest of the seven dwarves as used to be the underdogs, you've even made a pretty good career out of it.
On Sunday ya will once again wow the fans wiv ya flips and jumps, ya can shake your pom-poms like the glorified cheerleader ya are it won't matter.
Take my advice Happy get yer tiny nuts; dip them in the finest fertiliser the Rose City has and maybe just maybe they'll grow big enough to give ya to stand toe to toe wiv me for a whole match. Or maybe you'll stink of shit an' the fans in the front four rows will throw up. If not from the smell it will be when see the plasma spraying from your ruptured veins. If I have to reach into your flesh and pull them out meself I will.
That act will pale in comparison to what I’m gonna do to the rest of the chumps,
Chumps like Chris Cyrus.... the Suicidal Champion... what can I say that pretty much sums up ya chances in this match. ya may proclaim yerself as Simply Awesome! The future of the business, an' who knows that may even be true, the problem I 'ave is how can an APW original be called the future, you've been here longer than anyone. Yet 'aven't reached the top, that speaks volume dontcha think?.
I'm not fazed by ya being a Grandslam champion, to me that just makes ya a bigger target. When ever I look at yer smug grin all I can see is a bullseye, so ya can gather up yer over-used catchphrases
From the longest serving Megastar we switch to one of the newest...
...Manhattan White- What kinda name is that? Guess that don't matter when ya blow the bosses! OK that was unfounded, I guess I hafta expect a law suit now typical American! Oh well in fer a penny in fer a pound...
... how else do ya explain some chumps walks straight onto PPV in his debut match while I have to fight through a battle royal to even earn a PPV pay day. Ta me Whitey this is personal, I'll loving the chance to show the bosses they backed the wrong horse. Yer claims of how violent the place is are laughable. Everyone is this business has to be dysfunctional to survive, what did interest me as me sponsors sent through info about Camden, is that three mayors have been jailed for corruption. That explains how ya got a PPV shot from the get-go, yer corrupted APW wiv yer Jersey slime.
I'm no hero but this place is officially a part of me new Empire and ya ain’t taking it down. After I’m finished wiv ya yer hafta change yer name to Manhattan Claret cos you'll be swimming in it.
The Fuzztones once sang the third time's the charm...
... regardless of Rudi's words of wisdom Tommy Knoxville do ya really think that ya can beat me? During me short APW career we've met twice and yer lost twice, short of ya bringing a blade wiv ya what chance do ya really have? That ain't a knock on yer talent but the facts are clear. I 'ave yer number.
Brown 3, Knoxville 0, get yer laughing gear around that “Ironman”!
In this match there is only one guy that I don’t really wanna smash into jelly an' that’s me fellow Brit (even if he is a Yid) Mike Morrison. Bruv is crazy, he would probably cut himself fer shits and giggles.
Dude is def a slice short of a loaf, as English gentlemen we will abide by the rules and spill each others scarlet on the canvas like a classic Constable landscape.
Next Sunday at Asylum Portland will live up to it's Rip City nickname when 8 men will aim to rip the flesh from another.
Only one man will stand tall while the others will lay bloodied and beaten.
That one man will be “Cool Britannia”, the “True Brit” Johnny Brown.
APW better stock up on aspirin or whatever they're called over 'ere.
In little over a week seven men are gonna get their HEADS kicked in!
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
A thick wad of spit hits the tarmac as Johnny swings his leg over his baby and takes his back pack off. He cricks his necks and works lose a tweak in his shoulder.
Oh Johnny I knew you would come!
Aw shit Jolene!!! I've told ya not ta follow me.
In England had ninjas Johnny would be one. wiv appearing to move he crosses the space between them and pins his stalker to the wall by the throat, she gaps trying to explain.
I'm not Jolene any more, I'm Joanie Brown; I've changed my name. I did it for you!
Switching his hand from her throat to her jaw to shut her up Johnny lets go in his now trademark tirade style.
So ya want to be me bitch do ya?! Careful whatca wish fer sweetheart. These are the rules of being me bitch.
I am the only one that is allowed to through ya a bone, front or back. Ya can suck pipe but always spit and clean yer teeth 10 times before yer even speak to me. Ya will be at every hotel before me wiv everything on me itinerary.
If yer late or don't arrive I’ll find ya and I’ll smack ya, if ya forget anything I'll smack ya, if ya bend the truth or I think yer bending the truth I’ll smack ya, If ya cry when I smack ya, I'll smack ya again. In fact yer gonna hafta work very hard to not get smacked.
First thing yer need to do is ta Eliza Doolittle that accident, ya have no idea what I’m on about do ya?
Family Guy season 3 episode 4, If ya speak in yer Southern drawl in front of me again...
You'll smack me?
Brown smiles, pleased with himself.
That's right, ya wanted it “Joanie” ya've got it. Now get me bags bitch!
The look of sycophantic love blinks out for a minute, changing to absolute terror before returning and plastering a big smile across the former waitresses face. She had been accepted by her dream man, ever since she gave herself to him she knew this day would come. She couldn't be happier; could she?...
