Post by Johnny "True Brit" Brown on Oct 7, 2011 14:15:30 GMT -4
Offffffffffff
Blood squirts up the walls, the sound of the punch echoes around the room.
If you’re thinking you’ve walked into another Johnny Brown beat down your right…
…sorta.
This time it’s me taking the kicking, well punching would be more accurate with a little table slamming action. Of course if I didn’t have these handcuffs on it would be a different situation. Well if I was bullet proof too it would help.
If this was an American TV show we would swirly fade to me getting stopped by a half dozen pissed off arm coppers. I spend a lot of hard earned cash to bring me Triumph over and I wasn’t gonna let those donkey humpers shoot it up.
There mate had squawked on his radio, I just assumed they had tin cans on strings; and they set up a roadblock. A lot of screaming and a hell of a lot of hours later here we are.
All I need is a phone call and my sponsors will get me out of here. Of course they no longer understand English when I bring up my rights. Ironic I guess since I often argue about U.S.A,’s overreliance on “rights”.
The reason for the beating is just revenge, even though I’m sure it plays a part, it’s more my refusal to sign a confession. Of course the confession is bogus; as I can’t understand Lithuanian (yes I found out where I was) I don’t know what it says. I think Madeline McCann, Shergar, JFK and Zodiac were mentioned. Maybe this list should include how I was excluded from the Extreme elimination chamber should be on here.
It’s a mystery to me.
It could be just so I have to defend my title against some chick. Well in fairness it’s not just some kick, its some ugly butch chick who likes nerds. I’m sure the Seagulls have heard those comments before but they were too easy to pass up.
Finally some action; one of the calmer pigs calls the Lithuanian heavyweight champion of the world out amid much excitement leaving me to lament about my pending Asylum opponent, Charles Scripps.
Well I haven’t had much time to think about the so called San Diego Wrestling machine. A friend of some idiot called the Blue Shark, wow and I thought Charles Scripps was a stupid sounding name, not if you compare it to the SDS, but its close. Scripps seems to be the voice of reason in that team, the calming voice to his mucho butcho partner Katie Bear, yes I know that’s not her name but at a not so long short guess she won’t like it. Aw go rattle some pans and make me some dinner woman.
Right about now, if my face didn’t look like road kill I’d be talking trash about Chuckie, maybe even slating Norv Turner, but knowing the love hate relationship he has with the Charger fans me an’ Scripps could be drinking buddies singing karaoke after our match. I doubt Scripps can sing, he doesn’t have the balls, he seems more tapping his foot to Manilow sipping on some warm milk, once he checks the temperature of it, cant be too warm ya know.
The more astute of you will realise I obvious survive my perilous situation, as I narrate the video of me tied to a chair. Yes I just spat blood, but my injuries aren't that bad, I just swallowed a whole lot of snotty blood, in my defense I am handcuffed an' fairly ill-mannered. Screw handkerchiefs use yer sleeve.
I bet Charlie-Boy use triple quilted tissue and sanitiser afterwards, chump has probably never taken a chance in his life. His haircut is pretty dangerous, but that's dangerous in a different way. P'haps I should offer to show Charles what the real world is about, I’ve always lived by the seat of my pants, taking things how they come. Staggering from one disaster to another, you've seen my personal bunny-boiler Joanie ain’t ya? To some it’s not the way ta live ya life, they need the stability of a mortgage and a routine. Kate and Charlie live eat and breathe wrestling, which in its way is fair enough but is it all there is?
Hell no! I enjoy what I do and want to be the best in this biz, but to be known only for being a wrestling machine? Not my thing bruv. I am the embodiment of Cool Britannia, I can do it all, let me show you what life it Charlie, Kate can come along, I’ll throw my bone her way if she asks nicely. Well get me a bevy first.
Ha ha, how tragic do I look 'cuffed to a chair, bleeding like a fanny on rag week and here's me Mr. Narrator talking about going out on a pub crawl then spit-roasting me opponents partner. Let's cut back an' allow me to share me real time wisdom.
C'mon yer pu$$ies is that all yer got?! I've taken worse from me nephews and nieces while play fighting!!
Have ya made the call yet? You're missing out on some serious cash if ya don’t, Every drop of blood that ya spill is gonna cost ya. Not only you but Charlie Scripps, I’m gonna beat his ass for millions to watch an’ every clothesline, forearm is your fault. Every damn time I scrape him up off the mat an’ hit him again… that’s down to you! If you think the gulags killed a lot of yer, just wait til I get free, you are gonna pine for the Siberian killing fields.
The swollen knuckle gorilla is back, I’ve never been hit by a gorilla but I guess they don’t smell as bad as this dude, don’t they have in-door plumbing here? Hey he brought a new playmate, the boss I guess or at least the one that ties their shoes and cuts up their dinner for them. He appears to be able to read judging by the stack of paperwork in his hands.
Sit down Mr. Brown, your show of bravado is impressing no-one. If you want to get out of here and back to APW I suggest you sit down… NOW!
Good. Oh don’t look so surprised Mr. Brown, we know who you are. As you surprisingly knew we are ex-soviet Russia. We have means of finding out stuff. I know about your pathetic upbringing that you twist into a bag of honour trying to sound tough. You and your family are scum, the very scum you bad mouth in your umm “promos” petty crooks who ran away from the money they owed and the people they crossed. You are not tough you are desensitised to the world around you, it’s not a case of you being a lone wolf not needing friends. You don’t have the social skills to make them, it wouldn’t matter anyway is you did you would lose them once the fear of settling in one place overwhelms you.
Nothing to say? I would say I find that hard to believe but our former soviet masters trained its law enforcement well, the systems they left behind are still training us today. I can read you like a book both by your body language and even your pathetic little mind.
L-Listen carrot-muncher…
Carrot-muncher? Is that all that you have Johnny? Assuming we live on home-grown vegetables because we do not have shops or are too poor to buy food. Mr. Brown you are woe-fully unprepared to argue with me, almost as unprepared as you are to face Charles Scripps.
Again you look surprised, yes we know you have a match, you rantings moments ago are not entirely non-sensical. We watch APW here, we too think Branden Harvey is a loser here. We have seen the true courage and skills of the San Diego Wrestling Machine and we too know he is going to ummmm kick “yer” head in.
You are a fake bully running your mouth and making a show to intimidate your opponent. Even animals can do that, and you have evolved little more than an animal. Your displays of violence are born from the frustrations of your life, they have gotten you so far in APW but the cracks are starting to show and this week Charles will turn them in huge voids for Kate Norton to bust in chasms when she takes your precious gold.
Pretty clever farm boy; p’haps yer right. Maybe it’s a pile of horseshit. I could be workin’ ya like the rubes as the shows.
Why don’t ya let me go, I can step in the ring with the human yawn, I mean wrestling machine and give him a breakdown. Will he survive the stress test? I heard he uses plenty of lube while he watches Kate shower.
Yeah we all know he’s a freak, we have all seen the way he fawn over her, dreaming that she’ll let him feel her up. Offering to weaken me for her? What’s his problem the spineless goof, why aint he proclaiming that he’s gonna kick my arse and demand a title shot?
Have ya heard his claims to have hurt people on the indy scene? The only person I’ve heard make that claim is him. Tap or snap?! Original huh!? He’s not so much of a seagull, yer more of a lame duck.
I’ll bring the shotgun and blow his boring brains out! His voice sounds gray, he is so dull he actually absorbs colour turning everything into an episode of Harold Lloyd
Tuesday nights at 18:00 to all the British fans out there.
I don’t care how well he can wrestle he wont bring the fans into the arenas, he wont make any money. He offers jack to APW other than another body for me to break while is how the BOYS that I deserve my spot, can’t let the boys down. Ignore my superior talent and let the journey men get a World title shot.
As I said on twitter “Even with half my attention focused I'm still better than most of the MEGAstars.” Yes Kash that includes too. Scripps may call me a whiner, p’haps he’s right but I aint a liar. I know Reggie told the officials to let him win the first blood battle royal as his ego couldn’t take losing to me twice in one night.
Charlie boy can get offended all he wants, but even the dumbass fans know that he’s a runt not fit for the big time. I’ll tell ya what if that dull as dishwater robotic bag of blah beats me this week, he can join in at the PPV and we’ll make it a three way for my gold, damn even a handicap if the booker men have the balls I don’t care.
Now, for me to do that and since Lithuania were only the 36th worst police force in the world, I guess you guys were all off that day; why don’t ya process me so I can go make good on my word!
Look at him he knows he has to let me go, his amateur hour psychology show has failed. Thinking he can read me, now say the words buddy and we can end this.
You are free to go, I hope he cripples you.
Blood squirts up the walls, the sound of the punch echoes around the room.
If you’re thinking you’ve walked into another Johnny Brown beat down your right…
…sorta.
This time it’s me taking the kicking, well punching would be more accurate with a little table slamming action. Of course if I didn’t have these handcuffs on it would be a different situation. Well if I was bullet proof too it would help.
If this was an American TV show we would swirly fade to me getting stopped by a half dozen pissed off arm coppers. I spend a lot of hard earned cash to bring me Triumph over and I wasn’t gonna let those donkey humpers shoot it up.
There mate had squawked on his radio, I just assumed they had tin cans on strings; and they set up a roadblock. A lot of screaming and a hell of a lot of hours later here we are.
All I need is a phone call and my sponsors will get me out of here. Of course they no longer understand English when I bring up my rights. Ironic I guess since I often argue about U.S.A,’s overreliance on “rights”.
The reason for the beating is just revenge, even though I’m sure it plays a part, it’s more my refusal to sign a confession. Of course the confession is bogus; as I can’t understand Lithuanian (yes I found out where I was) I don’t know what it says. I think Madeline McCann, Shergar, JFK and Zodiac were mentioned. Maybe this list should include how I was excluded from the Extreme elimination chamber should be on here.
It’s a mystery to me.
It could be just so I have to defend my title against some chick. Well in fairness it’s not just some kick, its some ugly butch chick who likes nerds. I’m sure the Seagulls have heard those comments before but they were too easy to pass up.
Finally some action; one of the calmer pigs calls the Lithuanian heavyweight champion of the world out amid much excitement leaving me to lament about my pending Asylum opponent, Charles Scripps.
Well I haven’t had much time to think about the so called San Diego Wrestling machine. A friend of some idiot called the Blue Shark, wow and I thought Charles Scripps was a stupid sounding name, not if you compare it to the SDS, but its close. Scripps seems to be the voice of reason in that team, the calming voice to his mucho butcho partner Katie Bear, yes I know that’s not her name but at a not so long short guess she won’t like it. Aw go rattle some pans and make me some dinner woman.
Right about now, if my face didn’t look like road kill I’d be talking trash about Chuckie, maybe even slating Norv Turner, but knowing the love hate relationship he has with the Charger fans me an’ Scripps could be drinking buddies singing karaoke after our match. I doubt Scripps can sing, he doesn’t have the balls, he seems more tapping his foot to Manilow sipping on some warm milk, once he checks the temperature of it, cant be too warm ya know.
The more astute of you will realise I obvious survive my perilous situation, as I narrate the video of me tied to a chair. Yes I just spat blood, but my injuries aren't that bad, I just swallowed a whole lot of snotty blood, in my defense I am handcuffed an' fairly ill-mannered. Screw handkerchiefs use yer sleeve.
I bet Charlie-Boy use triple quilted tissue and sanitiser afterwards, chump has probably never taken a chance in his life. His haircut is pretty dangerous, but that's dangerous in a different way. P'haps I should offer to show Charles what the real world is about, I’ve always lived by the seat of my pants, taking things how they come. Staggering from one disaster to another, you've seen my personal bunny-boiler Joanie ain’t ya? To some it’s not the way ta live ya life, they need the stability of a mortgage and a routine. Kate and Charlie live eat and breathe wrestling, which in its way is fair enough but is it all there is?
Hell no! I enjoy what I do and want to be the best in this biz, but to be known only for being a wrestling machine? Not my thing bruv. I am the embodiment of Cool Britannia, I can do it all, let me show you what life it Charlie, Kate can come along, I’ll throw my bone her way if she asks nicely. Well get me a bevy first.
Ha ha, how tragic do I look 'cuffed to a chair, bleeding like a fanny on rag week and here's me Mr. Narrator talking about going out on a pub crawl then spit-roasting me opponents partner. Let's cut back an' allow me to share me real time wisdom.
C'mon yer pu$$ies is that all yer got?! I've taken worse from me nephews and nieces while play fighting!!
Have ya made the call yet? You're missing out on some serious cash if ya don’t, Every drop of blood that ya spill is gonna cost ya. Not only you but Charlie Scripps, I’m gonna beat his ass for millions to watch an’ every clothesline, forearm is your fault. Every damn time I scrape him up off the mat an’ hit him again… that’s down to you! If you think the gulags killed a lot of yer, just wait til I get free, you are gonna pine for the Siberian killing fields.
The swollen knuckle gorilla is back, I’ve never been hit by a gorilla but I guess they don’t smell as bad as this dude, don’t they have in-door plumbing here? Hey he brought a new playmate, the boss I guess or at least the one that ties their shoes and cuts up their dinner for them. He appears to be able to read judging by the stack of paperwork in his hands.
Sit down Mr. Brown, your show of bravado is impressing no-one. If you want to get out of here and back to APW I suggest you sit down… NOW!
Good. Oh don’t look so surprised Mr. Brown, we know who you are. As you surprisingly knew we are ex-soviet Russia. We have means of finding out stuff. I know about your pathetic upbringing that you twist into a bag of honour trying to sound tough. You and your family are scum, the very scum you bad mouth in your umm “promos” petty crooks who ran away from the money they owed and the people they crossed. You are not tough you are desensitised to the world around you, it’s not a case of you being a lone wolf not needing friends. You don’t have the social skills to make them, it wouldn’t matter anyway is you did you would lose them once the fear of settling in one place overwhelms you.
Nothing to say? I would say I find that hard to believe but our former soviet masters trained its law enforcement well, the systems they left behind are still training us today. I can read you like a book both by your body language and even your pathetic little mind.
L-Listen carrot-muncher…
Carrot-muncher? Is that all that you have Johnny? Assuming we live on home-grown vegetables because we do not have shops or are too poor to buy food. Mr. Brown you are woe-fully unprepared to argue with me, almost as unprepared as you are to face Charles Scripps.
Again you look surprised, yes we know you have a match, you rantings moments ago are not entirely non-sensical. We watch APW here, we too think Branden Harvey is a loser here. We have seen the true courage and skills of the San Diego Wrestling Machine and we too know he is going to ummmm kick “yer” head in.
You are a fake bully running your mouth and making a show to intimidate your opponent. Even animals can do that, and you have evolved little more than an animal. Your displays of violence are born from the frustrations of your life, they have gotten you so far in APW but the cracks are starting to show and this week Charles will turn them in huge voids for Kate Norton to bust in chasms when she takes your precious gold.
Pretty clever farm boy; p’haps yer right. Maybe it’s a pile of horseshit. I could be workin’ ya like the rubes as the shows.
Why don’t ya let me go, I can step in the ring with the human yawn, I mean wrestling machine and give him a breakdown. Will he survive the stress test? I heard he uses plenty of lube while he watches Kate shower.
Yeah we all know he’s a freak, we have all seen the way he fawn over her, dreaming that she’ll let him feel her up. Offering to weaken me for her? What’s his problem the spineless goof, why aint he proclaiming that he’s gonna kick my arse and demand a title shot?
Have ya heard his claims to have hurt people on the indy scene? The only person I’ve heard make that claim is him. Tap or snap?! Original huh!? He’s not so much of a seagull, yer more of a lame duck.
I’ll bring the shotgun and blow his boring brains out! His voice sounds gray, he is so dull he actually absorbs colour turning everything into an episode of Harold Lloyd
Tuesday nights at 18:00 to all the British fans out there.
I don’t care how well he can wrestle he wont bring the fans into the arenas, he wont make any money. He offers jack to APW other than another body for me to break while is how the BOYS that I deserve my spot, can’t let the boys down. Ignore my superior talent and let the journey men get a World title shot.
As I said on twitter “Even with half my attention focused I'm still better than most of the MEGAstars.” Yes Kash that includes too. Scripps may call me a whiner, p’haps he’s right but I aint a liar. I know Reggie told the officials to let him win the first blood battle royal as his ego couldn’t take losing to me twice in one night.
Charlie boy can get offended all he wants, but even the dumbass fans know that he’s a runt not fit for the big time. I’ll tell ya what if that dull as dishwater robotic bag of blah beats me this week, he can join in at the PPV and we’ll make it a three way for my gold, damn even a handicap if the booker men have the balls I don’t care.
Now, for me to do that and since Lithuania were only the 36th worst police force in the world, I guess you guys were all off that day; why don’t ya process me so I can go make good on my word!
Look at him he knows he has to let me go, his amateur hour psychology show has failed. Thinking he can read me, now say the words buddy and we can end this.
You are free to go, I hope he cripples you.
