UN-Happy Ending: Kill-uminati

[Nathaniel Havok]

Wednesday
October 19 2011
Cerulean Tower Tokyo Hotel

13:42
The scene opens with Nathaniel Havok and Sally Talfourd, both smiling straight into the camera. It seems as if they have taken the press room of their luxury hotel for themselves, as they sit center stage, awaiting their cue from cameraman Shane.

Shane: You two ready? Okay, let’s do this in five…

Four…

Three…

…

…

Havok: Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to UN-Happy Ending T.V.! I of course, am your host, the Enforcer of Sorrow, Nathaniel Havok! And as usual, sitting next to me is the sexiest little thing you’ll ever see in your life, but her bite is a whole hell of a lot bigger than her bark! Ladies and gentlemen, it’s obvious that I’m talking about the queen of Action Packed Wrestling, Ms. Sally Talfourd!

Sally smiles and waves to the camera.

Havok: This episode of UN-Happy Ending T.V. is a very special episode, because there are just a few short days left until the big event! One Night in Hell takes place in just six nights, at the Tokyo Dome in Downtown Tokyo, Japan. Sally’s got herself quite a big match at the pay per view, as she will be going into the Xtreme Elimination Chamber match, with a chance to walk out as the APW World Heavyweight Champion!

Sally: And the fans are going to be in for quite a treat, When the Enforcer of Sorrow puts his APW Xtreme Championship on the line against Ebirah, in a Blaze of Glory Match!

Havok: There are tons more great matchups on the card for the evening! But of course, the only two matches that matter, are the matches that we’re in.

Nathaniel snickers.

Sally: Come on, Nathaniel. There are tons of talented individuals in APW!

Havok: Yeah, sure. But none more talented than us, and that’s a fact!

Sally rolls her eyes, smirking at Nathaniel’s ego.

Sally: Nevertheless, One Night in Hell is shaping up to be the pay per view of the century! The show is sold out, and the building will be jam packed to capacity!

Havok: Let’s just hope that Ebirah doesn’t run crazed through the crowd after I set him on fire. It might turn out to be a pretty bad night if people can’t make it to the fire exits!

Sally: The both of us have very brutal matches coming up at One Night in Hell, but I have to say that your match brings a whole new level of danger into the ring.

Havok: It’s not too many times in professional wrestling, that we get the privilege of seeing a Blaze of Glory Match! I must say that I am very honored to be in this match, as everyone knows I thrive on very unique situations. I’m an innovator in that ring, and I’ve got some very special ideas lined up for my unlucky opponent.

Sally: I can’t wait to see it, Nathaniel! And although I know I’ll turn away when someone is set on fire, I know that I’ll be looking forward to the competition beforehand.

Havok: Come on now, you act like there’s actually going to be any competition!

Sally: You don’t think so?

Havok: Come on, give me a break! Look at me, Sally! Look at me!

Nathaniel stands up from his seat, taking one “twirl” around, so Sally gets a complete look at his impressive frame.

Havok: You don’t look like this, walk, talk, and act like this, or wrestle as good as I do, without being the best in the world! The best in the world is something that Ebirah IS NOT! But have no fear, have no fear, Nathaniel Havok is that man! There’s not a bone in Ebirah’s body that is better than mine, and there’s not a bone in his body that I’m not planning on breaking! He doesn’t stand a chance, Sally! I’m not only the sexiest man alive, not only a beast between the sheets, but I’m the best professional wrestler in the world!

Nathaniel looks down with a cocky smile on his face, to see Sally none-too-pleased with what he’s just said. Nathaniel’s cocky smile quickly vanishes, as he slowly sits back down next to his tag team partner.

Havok: I mean, of course you’re a close second.

Nathaniel smiles at Sally, who still looks none-too-pleased.

Havok: Okay, you’ve beaten me.

Sally cracks a smile, and kisses Nathaniel on the cheek, who is now embarrassed.

Sally: That’s more like it, baby! But come on! You’ve got this match in the bag! Take comfort in the fact that Ebirah could NEVER beat me, thus he could never beat you. Well, by himself that is. We all know how he beat you the first time, and I wouldn’t put it past him to take another win that same exact way.

Havok: I take it that you’re talking about the Elite Posse, but rumor has it ladies and gentlemen, that the Elite Posse is in-fact no more. That’s right, you heard it here first! The Elite Pussies have been vanquished from Action Packed Wrestling!

Sally: Many actually say that it’s thanks to you, Nathaniel. How would you respond to that?

Nathaniel cracks a smile once again, scoffing at the camera.

Havok: Of course it’s because of me! Look what I did to ASP! Ebirah, I ended your buddies career! I went out on Overdrive and did exactly what I promised I would do! I made an example out of that piece of garbage you called a buddy, and I ended his professional wrestling career! As a matter of fact, I beat his ass so bad, that rumor has it that Branden Harvey retired too, because he wanted no part of me! And do you know what that means, Ebirah? That means that you’ve got no more backup! That means that no one will be there to watch your back, or to help you try and win this match. Barring President Jeff getting involved, you’ve got no one there to help you win this time! And after what the APW President was served with on Friday, I doubt that he’ll be involving himself in this match.

Sally: What are you talking about?

Nathaniel looks at Sally with the same cocky smirk on his face.

Havok: Don’t worry, you’ll see. Soon, everyone will see! Everyone will see that I was right all along, and that President Jeff is the most selfish son of a bitch walking God’s green earth! Sally, I’ve got plans, BIG plans! I’ve got things in the works, that are going to change the very face of professional wrestling FOREVER!

Sally: I hope that I’m included in these plans, seeing as how I don’t know about them.

Havok: Trust me, you’re included. It’s funny, everything I do these days, I keep you in mind. How in the hell did you do that to me?

Sally: What can I say, I’m talented like that.

Havok: You can say that again!

Sally: What can I say, I’m talented like that.

Nathaniel looks at Sally with a dumbfounded look on his face.

Havok: You know when I say that, I really don’t mean that you have to say it again.

Sally: I know, I just like annoying the hell out of you.

Havok: What? Why?

Sally: Because I know you’ll put up with it. I know that there’s nothing I could do that would drive you away.

Havok: Well what can I say, Sally?

Nathaniel chuckles.

Havok: I love your assets. I mean, I love what you bring to the team.

Sally snickers.

Sally: Yeah, yeah. I know what you meant, pervert.

Havok: Nevertheless, I’ve got big plans, Sally! I’ve got plans to take Action Packed Wrestling to the undeniable top, and beyond! APW is known as the best in the world, but we can do even better! And how do we accomplish this? We cut out the cancer, that’s crippling this damn company! Sally, do you realize how much power that we’ll have with both the Xtreme, and the World Heavyweight Championships?

Sally: I know, right!?!?

Havok: And soon, we’ll get another shot at the APW Tag Team Championships! After we win those, we’ll have more gold than the San Francisco rush! That right there, that’s absolute power! The power lies in the gold, and having more, gives us more power! Soon, I’ll have Jeff out of the way. With all the gold, there’s nothing he’ll be able to say! We’ll run this place, Sally! We’ll have APW by the balls, and we’ll run Overdrive, as well as Asylum!

Sally: But I don’t have any problems with President Jeff!

Havok: I’m not trying to bring you into this, Sally. But the sad truth is that you’ve fallen victim of circumstance. You’re in the middle, whether you like it or not. That’s just the way it is. As a wrestler, you know how it is, and I’m sure you understand. To end this thing with Jeff, I have to set Ebirah on fire. After I do that, we have to win the tag belts. I know damn well that the tag team titles are in your idea of the future, as well as mine! There’s no detouring of your plans, thus I don’t see why you could or would have a problem with it.

Sally: Just keep me out of this personally. Professionally, I’m all in. But don’t try to drag me into this any other way. I’ll have your back in the ring, but any personal matters are none of my business.

Nathaniel nods at Sally.

Havok: Fair enough. But after that Sally, we will run this place! Jeff will have no choice but to bend at my will! Soon, the owner of this company will not only be kissing my feet, but he’ll also be kissing my ass! But first things first, and that’s BEATING Ebirah’s ass. And trust me Sally, that’s exactly what the Enforcer of Sorrow is going to do!

Sally: What do you think setting Ebirah on fire will accomplish? If you ask me, it’s pretty barbaric.

Havok: Sally, even you know that if you had no choice, you’d set another human being on fire! I just so happen to like the idea of setting another man on fire, so I’ve got no issue with it. But I don’t really think that Ebirah knows what he’s getting himself into. I don’t think that he’s got a tight grasp on what this means for not only his health, but for his career as well. Either one of two things happens to Ebirah. One, he sets me on fire, winning the Xtreme Championship and continues his down-hill roll of momentum. Or number two, I set his punk ass on fire, and he’s put on the shelf, momentum brought to an abrupt and sudden halt. Expecting the latter of the two, I expect that the Elite Posse will all three be out of the wrestling business by this time next week! Again Ebirah, you’ve got me to thank for that. But back to your question, Sally. Getting business taken care of on Sunday, means that Jeff has failed yet again! You’ve got to figure that eventually, he’s going to get sick of failing time after time.

Sally: And then what?

Havok: And then I get him, one on one!

Sally: One on one, you and the APW President!?!?

Havok: You’re damn right, Sally! Hurricane Jeff, back in action! Hurricane Jeff laces them up one more time to do battle with Nathaniel Havok, and I’ll do anything it takes to make it happen!

Sally: But Nathaniel, he’s the APW President!

Havok: What’s your point, Sally? Sweetheart, like you said, this thing between he and I, it’s personal. It’s between him and myself, and you don’t have to get involved. But getting Jeff back into the ring, is exactly what I want! And I know damn well by setting Ebirah ablaze, I get one step closer to obtaining my goal! With Jeff out of the picture once and for all, the power lies in the titles! The titles in which you and I will possess!

Nathaniel focuses his attention off of Sally, and stares a hole into the camera in-front of him.

Havok: Ebirah, if you don’t understand what I’m saying, let me break it down for you. You seem to have formed this idea in your head, that you’ve got what it takes to walk out of One Night in Hell as the Xtreme Champion. But I’m here to tell you how wrong you are. The problem is, you’ve never been in a wrestling ring, where someone hasn’t been watching your back. This time though, things are different. Because not only are you going into the ring with nobody to watch your back, but your stepping into the ring with me! The objective of the match is to set your opponent on fire, a fate you will meet at my hands! But I want you to take a second, and actually think about the consequences of a match like this. As we embark on our journey into One Night in Hell, take a second and think about the brutality, think about the carnage! The damage is going to take its toll on your unwilling frame, and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Trust me bitch, I will be bringing the heat! That means that you’re in for the ass kicking of a lifetime! But make no mistake about it, I’ve got to set your ass ablaze in order to keep my title. After all the pain and punishment that I inflict on your body, I will ensure victory by not only setting you on fire, but watching your career go up in flames as well!

Sally: Now Nathaniel, you know as well as I do that Ebirah has reintroduced his old manager. Of course he’s not going to be going out there alone. That’s not his style.

Havok: This guy’s a pussy! He’s a giant, raunchy, blown out pussy, who can’t do anything on his own. Great segway, by the way.

Nathaniel chuckles before becoming very serious once again.

Havok: Yeah, I know about Bobby Bitch Cheeks.

Sally: Nathaniel, I think his name is Bobby Belichick.

Nathaniel shakes his head, disagreeing with Sally.

Havok: No Sally, I’m most certain that it’s Bobby Bitch Cheeks. Anyhow, the audacity of Ebirah! I mean, come on man! Can you find any other way to make yourself look like the biggest bitch in Action Packed Wrestling? First, you align yourself with the rest of the Elite Posse. And now that we all know, the Elite Posse turned out to be nothing but a joke! Now, now you’re bringing in a new manager to watch your back at ringside? Really, Ebirah? Not even a week after your little buddies bitch out and leave APW, you’re bringing in MORE backup? Come on, Ebriah! Could it be anymore obvious? And above all else, everybody already knows about your history with the Seagulls! Face it man, you’re scared! You can’t do anything on your own, and you never have!

Sally: I’ll tell you what it is, Nathaniel… It’s dependency.

Nathaniel scoffs.

Havok: Yeah, maybe we should introduce him to Jason Kash. His recent split with Shane Borderland has left him without a significant other.

Sally: Are you suggesting that we fix them up?

Havok: Sure! I’m sure those two bitches could have a good time with one another.

Sally: We could be matchmakers!

Havok: I think we’ve got our first couple spot on! What do you say, Ebirah? If you’re in the market to move on with your life, Jason Kash needs some love. What do you think about that, big man?

Nathaniel chuckles.

Havok: You amaze me, Ebirah, you really do. You expect people to believe that you would be a honorable Xtreme Champion, when you can’t even walk out to the ring by yourself! How do you expect anyone to believe any of the bullshit that flows out of your mouth, when you can’t even put your big girl panties on by yourself?

Nathaniel rolls his eye, then looks over at Sally.

Havok: Am I missing something here?

Sally: What do you mean?

Havok: When I came to APW, I made it on my own. You’re the very first person to ever walk beside me. And no offence to you, but I didn’t even have a choice in the matter.

Sally: So what are you saying?

Havok: How is it that this guy can’t walk to the ring by himself, yet he seems to think people will lobby for him to take the title away from me? I mean, wouldn’t you say that I’ve been nothing but a superior champion, since I’ve won that belt?

Sally: I would say that you have taken on all comers since winning the title. Regardless of what anyone says, that makes you a fighting champion. You’ve handled yourself with nothing but dignity and respect, all with that title in mind. You went as far as to change your appearance, just to bring class to a championship that is so brutal. I think that you’re a champions champion, a true visionary and a perfect fit for changing the face of the APW Xtreme Championship.

Havok: You see Ebirah, it’s simple. The Xtreme Championship means everything to me. It’s a title that I’ve busted my ass to put back on the map, and that’s exactly what I’ve done. Men that held this title before me such as Matt Ward, Diamante Valentine, they made a name for the Xtreme Championship! Men like Branden Harvey…

Nathaniel gives a sarcastic gag/cough.

Havok: They’re the ones who gave it a bad rep! Diamante was able to get the title back. But even as good as he was, he just couldn’t get people to take the title serious again. Then, I came along! I came along and made that damn championship mean something again! I made it matter again, and I’ll be GOD DAMNED if I’m going to allow your dumb ass to take it away from me! I’ll piss on my own fathers fucking grave if you win that damn title, and ruin everything that I’ve worked so God damn hard for! As God as my witness Ebirah, you don’t have what it takes to beat the best in the fucking world! Truth is, you’re nothing more than another piece of fucking meat! This machine we call wrestling, it runs like a fucking factory! Product in, product out, and the rest doesn’t really fucking matter! As long as you do what they want you to do, you’re good. But if you can’t do it, then you’re out!

Nathaniel smirks into the camera.

Havok: What exactly are you going to do Ebirah, when you’re not able to do it anymore? Just like ASP, what are you going to be able to do, when you can’t give anything more to this company? I guess you should just go ahead and continue to try and get a hold of ASP, then you can ask him where the nearest unemployment line is. His wasn’t the first APW career that I’ve ended, and his wont be the last. Regardless of how I personally feel about you, whether I think that you’re a giant Elite pussy or not, the fact is that you still pose some sort of threat to my championship. In an organization where even Branden Harvey can become a champion, you know damn well that anything can happen. That’s why I wont be taking any chances, when we step into the ring with one another at One Night in Hell.

You’ve got to understand where I’m coming from here, Ebirah. You’re a man who can’t be taken seriously. Truth is, you’re never going to do anything with your career, until you learn to do it on your own first. You haven’t done that yet, because you’re scared. You’re scared that on your own, you’ll prove to the world that you’re as fake as they come! I see right through you, Ebirah! And it’s only a matter of time until the entire wrestling world sees it too! You think that you’ve begun to expose me? Trust me son, I’m the only one that’s going to be doing the exposing here, and I believe that I’ve already started! You can try and take the focus off of yourself, but it’s not going to work!

Sally: How dare he try and insult the intelligence of the fans like that! Does he think the people are stupid? I bet the APW fans can already see right through him! I know that I do!

Nathaniel looks at Sally, almost as if he’s confused.

Sally: What? What did I say?

Havok: Sally, those fans are stupid.

Sally: No they’re not! Come on, Nathaniel!

Havok: Okay, okay, I’m sorry. As stupid as they might be, they’re not completely moronic! They can still see right through the smoke and mirrors, Ebirah! You know damn well that you’d accomplish absolutely NOTHING by yourself, and that’s why you’ve rushed to find yourself a new crony! I saw your little panic attack, you looked like a lost little boy looking for his mommy.

Nathaniel flashes a sad face full of sarcasm at the camera.

Havok: What wrong little boy, did your friends leave you all alone? Aw, poor little buddy. Don’t worry, there’s some old fucking has-been that you can bring in to watch your back. And I’m sure that he could do oh-so much to help your cause!

Nathaniel breaks into a hysterical laugh.

Havok: Give me a fucking break! I don’t know what the two of you think you’re pulling behind that curtain, but you’re not fooling a God damn soul! Bobby Bitch Cheeks, get involved in this match, and I’ll break your fucking hip. You hear me? Keep your nose out of my business, and you’ll be fine. Do your damn job, manage, but don’t get too carried away. If you do, I swear on my life that you’ll be sorry!

Sally: If he comes anywhere near you, trust me, like Michael Jackson before he went crazy, I’ll be there!

Nathaniel looks at Sally, offended by what she just said.

Havok: You watch your God damn mouth! Nobody insults the King in my presence!

Sally rolls her eyes at Nathaniel.

Sally: My bad, continue.

Havok: But like she said, you get your ancient ass involved in this match, and Sally will make you wish that you were born a fucking woman! Understand, rubber band?

Nathaniel chuckles.

Sally: I’d like to bring up another point here, that you kind of hinted at earlier. It’s very funny to me how Ebirah expect everybody to fall into this hoopla, when he continues to duck and dodge the obvious flaws that he puts out in the open. This guy’s completely oblivious to the fact that he’s a coward! It’s either that, or he’s in denial.

Havok: Admitting your problem is the first step, Ebirah. I’m sure you’ve heard that a time or two.

Sally: Oh yeah, when so?

Havok: I don’t know, probably in his first few sexual encounters with other dudes.

Nathaniel scoffs.

Havok: Come on, Sally. How would I know?

Sally: I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking. This is you’re version of MY show.

The two look at each other, knowing that they are arguing like they’ve been married for 50 years.

Havok: Point?

Sally: Let’s keep going, big boy.

Havok: Ebirah, the second step would be getting the proper help! And guess what my man, I’m exactly what the doctor ordered! You see, what I am going to do for you, is bring you back down to your level! I’m going to send you falling right back down to the shits, right where you belong! Along with that reality check, will come a new outlook on life. From there, the healing process will begin! Maybe you can start all over again, build yourself as well as your confidence back up. After that, maybe you’ll be able to get another shot at the Xtreme Championship. But by the time you’re done crawling out of your hole of self-doubt and self-pitty, by that time it will be too late. Your time will be up, and there will be a new breed of men that will come to take what we preserved for them! But when I say we, I mean REAL wrestlers, like Nathaniel Havok and Sally Talfourd.

Nathaniel laughs.

Havok: You know Ebirah, I heard a lot of “we’s” in your promo too. But when you said we, you acted like you were going into this match against me, with Bobby Bitch Cheeks as your tag team partner.

Sally: See what I mean, dependency. He’s clearly counting on Bobby Belichick to get the job done for him.

Havok: But that’s out of the question, now isn’t it Ebirah? So what are you going to do when even Bitch Cheeks can’t help you? Sally’s going to be there watching, so if he tries anything, the problem will be taken care of faster than you can say “Oh shit, I just got my dumb ass set on fire by the Xtreme Champion”! And sure, you might not need a handout. But it’s clear by how quick that you were able to move on, that you’re always going to need a boyfriend, aren’t you?

Nathaniel delivers a sadistic laugh.

Havok: Also, you need to start doing your homework. You say that you’re going to make my life hell? Do you think so?

Nathaniel chuckles quite evil-like once again.

Havok: Sorry to once again burst your bubble, but I’ve been there, and I’ve ruled that! Do some homework, kid! I went through hell for the better part of seven years! In this sick mind that’s attached to this God-like body, is the mind of a mad man! In my head, I ruled the realm of the Underworld for seven fucking years! I went through things that you could never imagine! But where you and I differ, is I was man enough to find a cure for my issues! I had the will power, I possessed the strength to get over my vices, something that you could never do on your own! Because once again, you’re always going to need somebody to walk you through life! You’re a sad and sorry excuse for a man! And you’re a man unbefitting of the Xtreme Championship! Unlike me, who has actually been to hell and back! I survived, and I continue to show my dominance! What do you do? You go out and find somebody else to watch your back, before anything bad happens to your sorry ass!

Do you know what made me this strong-willed? Do you know what made me this bad-ass? Do you know what made me the ass kicking son of a bitch that I am today, Ebirah? No, of course you don’t. You don’t know because you don’t care. And do you know what that tells me? That tells me that you ultimately don’t give a rats ass about the APW Xtreme Championship. The only thing you see in that title, is a trophy, and something that you can call yourself.

Nathaniel looks around him.

Havok: Let me ask you a question, do you see the Xtreme Championship anywhere, Ebirah?

Nathaniel laughs.

Havok: No, you don’t! You don’t see it, because I’m not one to flaunt! I’m not one to abuse my title! I’m not a champion that throws it in everyone’s face all the time! It’s not the type of champion that I am. That’s why people respect me, Ebirah. You claim that you’re out for respect, and that you’re going to earn my. You know what I say to that? I say that you’re as crazy as I thought you were. I could never respect you, because the title that we’re fighting for, doesn’t mean a God damn thing to you! You just want to be able to call yourself a champion, nothing more! All that would do, is ruin everything that I’ve fought for. That means that you’re attempting to compromise my beliefs! What kind of piece of shit would do that? What kind of man are you?

Sally: He’s not a man, Nathaniel. Anyone who depends on others to help them all the time, doesn’t deserve to be called a man. He’s a man-child, that’s what he is!

Havok: Okay then, listen up, MAN-CHILD! If how our last encounter ended wasn’t motivation enough, then the thought of you tarnishing my legacy should definitely do the trick! I don’t know if you’re drunk on punches, or just plain drunk! But the delusions running through your head, have to stop!

Sally: You talking about the whole “actors” bit that he did?

Havok: Hey Ebirah, this just in! You’re fucking stupid! If you knew anything about me, you’d know about my history in the country of Japan! Furthermore, if you cared anything about your profession, you’d already know the respect and history of professional wrestling in Japan! Your stupidity yet again, ceases to amaze me. I have been through so many brutal matches in this country, that you could place all of them up against any 5 star match you want, and they’d still pass the test! The Enforcer of Sorrow is the king of the 5 star match! If you don’t know, maybe you need to ask around! I’ve wrestled in this country over thirty times, with various North American promotions! In this country, I’m more than a legend! Much, much more! To these people in this great country, I am a fucking God! You in comparison, are more like a peasant to the king! Face it child, you’re nothing more than a peon! You’ll never be a champion in Action Packed Wrestling, and you’ll never be able to accomplish anything with the attitude that you have! You’re the future of APW? Well if that’s the case, this company is in for some rough roads ahead!

But that’s where I step in, because I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that happen. Putting an APW championship around your waist, would be like putting a silk hat on a pig! It’s just not going to work, little buddy. And regardless of how intense your championship dreams might be, you’re still not going to be able to get the job done. The APW Xtreme Championship doesn’t mean a damn thing if I’m not the champion, so all the hype that you’ve been deeming yourself with will eventually run stagnant, without question. But personally, I think that the pressure is going to be too much for you to handle. I think that you’re going to choke right in the face of pressure, and crack like fat bitch sitting on a walnut.

Sally: Did you just make that up?

Havok: Pretty good one, you say?

Sally: Sure, why not.

Nathaniel smirks at Sally who once again rolls her eyes. Havok then begins to chuckle.

Havok: What the hell is that?

Sally: Nothing, I just don’t understand you sometimes.

Havok: And that’s what makes us so damn great.

Sally: I’d say so. But sometimes I think I'm better off not understanding you.

Havok: Nevertheless, the pressure will turn out to be too much for you to handle. But then again, that’s just my opinion. I mean, who’s going to take the opinion of a man who’s done nothing but wrestle since he was 14 years old?

Nathaniel smirks once again.

Havok: If you haven’t realized it yet, I’ve got more experience in this business than most of the people in this company! I’m 28 years old now, and started doing this at 14! That means that for half of my life, this business is all that I’ve known! To top it off, I’m just now in my prime! I’ve got years ahead of me to be on top of the wrestling mountain! My time is just now starting to come, and there’s so much that I’ve already accomplished! I’ve been a mainstay in this business for the better part of my 14 year career! When I was 16, I made my debut in my first major promotion! I’ve got more experience in this business than most guys who have already retired after a long and illustrious career. Yet I still continue to kick the shit out of jobbers like you on a nightly basis! The sad truth for you is that my career has just begun. Like it or not, you’re going to have to deal with the Enforcer of Sorrow being on the top of the mountain for a long, long time to come!

Sally: Could you imagine what professional wrestling will be like in 10 to 15 years? We’re both so young, so talented… I don’t see us going anywhere for a while.

Havok: And with me retaining the Xtreme Championship by setting your ass on fire, Sally winning the Xtreme Elimination Champion, and then us taking the Tag Team Championships in the near future, we will rule the world of professional wrestling! Two people, acting as one single unit, will take over the entire world of this industry! You know how they say the Illuminati runs Hollywood? Well consider Sally Talfourd and Nathaniel Havok, the Illuminati of professional wrestling! Why? Because we run this shit!

Nathaniel chuckles.

Havok: From the top, all the way to the bottom of the food chain, we’ve beaten them all! Collectively, our careers could be put up against any other two careers in the history of this business. And just think about it, it’s only starting right now! At her tender age, Sally is already known as the best female professional wrestler in history. And me? There’s no man alive that could rival what I have done. When it comes to this business, if you think about an Xtreme setting, you think about the Enforcer of Sorrow! I go hand-in-hand with the word “Xtreme”, and it’s only fitting that that the Xtreme title remain around my waist! Facts are facts, Ebirah! The fact is that you’re only coming to the pay per view, to push me even further on my road of success! Another fact is that no matter how hard you try, you’re never going to be taken seriously until you ditch the bitch, and I think you know what I mean. Try doing something on your own for once, man! That’s how all the greats have made it in this business! Did Hurricane Jeff make it to where he is today, by riding the coattails of other wrestlers and managers? No, he didn’t! I should know! He and I were neck-in-neck as far as talent goes, for a long ass time!

Sally: I remember Jeff in his day, he was a bad-ass dude!

Havok: And he did it on his own! He didn’t have any friends helping him win, no managers getting involved, nothing of the sorts! He did it with his own talents! And as much as I hate that sorry excuse of a son of a bitch, I’m not going to deny that he was talented! I guess what I’m trying to say to you, is that your vices will eventually get the best of you. Because when you look behind you, hoping that Bobby Bitch Cheeks is about to save your ass, and you don’t see him…

…How are you going to react?

Are you going to stare the Devil in the eyes, and bitchslap him? Or are you going to lay down, like I am sure you will do?

Nathaniel smirks.

Havok: The choice is up to you, big man. I just hope that you make the right one. I’ll see you at One Night in Hell, Ebirah. And beforehand, allow me to say this…

…I’m sorry for what’s about to happen to you.

Nathaniel looks into the camera with sheer sincerity on his face. He then starts shaking his head “no”, and develops a smirk on his face.

Havok: Actually, I’m really not.

Nathaniel begins to laugh again, as Sally smirks into the camera.

Sally: With One Night in Hell shaping up to be a good ol’ fashioned “barn-burner”, we’re sure that everyone around the world will be tuning in! But for now, I’m Sally Talfourd, he’s Nathaniel Havok, and we hope you enjoyed UN-Happy Ending T.V.

As Nathaniel continues to chuckle, Sally looks at him with the smirk still on her face. The cameras zoom out as Sally turns her attention ahead of her, shaking her head at the childish antics of her tag team partner. The scene then fades to black.