Post by Phil Atken on Nov 5, 2011 8:08:15 GMT -4
We find Phil Atken standing in front of a small desk, metal pointed in hand. He has positioned himself next to a vacant stand, a stand which could be used perhaps to hold pie charts, bar graphs, pie graphs or even bar pies. Atken positions himself next to the stand and begins.
Atken: I told everyone he wouldn't understand. I tried to let him see the light. Really I did. I tried to explain to Trevor Jennings why his “heroes” are far more like me than they will ever be like him. I was trying to educate him, I was trying to provide a public service but Trevvypoo, Just. Wouldn't. Listen.
I was going to stand here and try to give Trevor another lecture on how the world really works, but no one wants to here two pro-wrasslers chit chatting about the political system. Even if one of them is a whoremonger. Please note for reference that the whoremonger is not me, Philip M. Atken. I assume you can work it out from there.
I also realised how Trevor Jennings brain operates and the second I realised that, I felt the need to share it with you, the great APW viewing public. So, to make it simple, here's a Venn Diagram I made earlier.
Phil grabs a piece of white card from behind him and places it on the stand next to him.
Atken: So as you can see, in Trevor Jennings' world, we have two distinct types of person. Type A.
Phil slaps the board with his pointer
*bang*
Atken: Is Trevor Jennings. And Type B.
*bang*
Atken: Is everyone else in the world, or as Trevor Jennings sees it, “liberals”. Please note the lack of overlap between "liberals" and "Trevor Jennings". This will be in your final exam.
I'm sorry to break the news to you so harshly everyone else in the world, but you are liberals. Don't worry, I'm also a liberal. So we can be liberals together in Trevor Jennings magical world of bullhockey... bullhookey? Something like that.
Of course, Trevor has other problems than his lack of understanding of the basics of humanity. His own beliefs for example.
“I don't care about gay marriage but let me tell you my opinions on it and them filthy gays”
“You're an idiot if you think immigration is important to me. Now let's talk about them thar Mexicans stealing all the jobs.”[/i]
Trevor, you're either a hypocrite or you've lost your entire mental faculties. I'd hate to think it's the latter.
Phil closes his pointer, placing it on the desk behind him.
Atken: Trevikins, listen up. I've had my fun but that doesn't mean I'm to be taken lightly. In fact, you should be rather scared Trevor because joking aside, I've realised what you are. You're a sad, bitter, wreck of a man. You lash out at everyone and everything, trying to project your flaws onto them and to be honest Trev, it's depressing. Seeing you talk about me is just sad. You're no hero, you're a cautionary tale. You're the man every parent hopes their child won't turn into. And deep down, I think you know that to be true.
Trevor, you're a dog. You're a dog on it's last legs. You've wasted your life and all you've got left is some brief cling to relevancy as a moral crusader. The decline of morals in todays society isn't really why you're angry, is it Trevor?
You're angry because you know your time on this world is limited. You're angry because your son abandoned you. You're angry because deep down you know that you are everything you claim to hate.
Don't fret though, I understand Trevor. I know what you really want. You want to be put out of your misery, just like that limping dog. You want the pain to end and by god Trev, are you in luck. You see tomorrow you will be standing in the ring with a bona fide humanitarian. I hate to see a man suffer Trevor and I'm happy end it all for you. I'm happy to end your career because that's what you really want, deep down, isn't it? You don't want to be a hero, you want to be put in a box, hidden away and forgotten about. You don't want your family issues aired on television. You don't want cameras following you about. You want to retire in peace and quiet.
At Asylum, as painful as it will be for everyone to watch, Old Yeller is going to be put down with a lil help from an Xtreme Rules match. The misery has to end and regretfully, I must be the man to do it.
It's what he really wants and I can only oblige. I can only oblige.
Atken: I told everyone he wouldn't understand. I tried to let him see the light. Really I did. I tried to explain to Trevor Jennings why his “heroes” are far more like me than they will ever be like him. I was trying to educate him, I was trying to provide a public service but Trevvypoo, Just. Wouldn't. Listen.
I was going to stand here and try to give Trevor another lecture on how the world really works, but no one wants to here two pro-wrasslers chit chatting about the political system. Even if one of them is a whoremonger. Please note for reference that the whoremonger is not me, Philip M. Atken. I assume you can work it out from there.
I also realised how Trevor Jennings brain operates and the second I realised that, I felt the need to share it with you, the great APW viewing public. So, to make it simple, here's a Venn Diagram I made earlier.
Phil grabs a piece of white card from behind him and places it on the stand next to him.
Atken: So as you can see, in Trevor Jennings' world, we have two distinct types of person. Type A.
Phil slaps the board with his pointer
*bang*
Atken: Is Trevor Jennings. And Type B.
*bang*
Atken: Is everyone else in the world, or as Trevor Jennings sees it, “liberals”. Please note the lack of overlap between "liberals" and "Trevor Jennings". This will be in your final exam.
I'm sorry to break the news to you so harshly everyone else in the world, but you are liberals. Don't worry, I'm also a liberal. So we can be liberals together in Trevor Jennings magical world of bullhockey... bullhookey? Something like that.
Of course, Trevor has other problems than his lack of understanding of the basics of humanity. His own beliefs for example.
“I don't care about gay marriage but let me tell you my opinions on it and them filthy gays”
“You're an idiot if you think immigration is important to me. Now let's talk about them thar Mexicans stealing all the jobs.”[/i]
Trevor, you're either a hypocrite or you've lost your entire mental faculties. I'd hate to think it's the latter.
Phil closes his pointer, placing it on the desk behind him.
Atken: Trevikins, listen up. I've had my fun but that doesn't mean I'm to be taken lightly. In fact, you should be rather scared Trevor because joking aside, I've realised what you are. You're a sad, bitter, wreck of a man. You lash out at everyone and everything, trying to project your flaws onto them and to be honest Trev, it's depressing. Seeing you talk about me is just sad. You're no hero, you're a cautionary tale. You're the man every parent hopes their child won't turn into. And deep down, I think you know that to be true.
Trevor, you're a dog. You're a dog on it's last legs. You've wasted your life and all you've got left is some brief cling to relevancy as a moral crusader. The decline of morals in todays society isn't really why you're angry, is it Trevor?
You're angry because you know your time on this world is limited. You're angry because your son abandoned you. You're angry because deep down you know that you are everything you claim to hate.
Don't fret though, I understand Trevor. I know what you really want. You want to be put out of your misery, just like that limping dog. You want the pain to end and by god Trev, are you in luck. You see tomorrow you will be standing in the ring with a bona fide humanitarian. I hate to see a man suffer Trevor and I'm happy end it all for you. I'm happy to end your career because that's what you really want, deep down, isn't it? You don't want to be a hero, you want to be put in a box, hidden away and forgotten about. You don't want your family issues aired on television. You don't want cameras following you about. You want to retire in peace and quiet.
At Asylum, as painful as it will be for everyone to watch, Old Yeller is going to be put down with a lil help from an Xtreme Rules match. The misery has to end and regretfully, I must be the man to do it.
It's what he really wants and I can only oblige. I can only oblige.
