Post by Your JESUS on May 21, 2008 0:17:37 GMT -4
In a training facility stands a ring, and a group of Jobbers surrounding the ring. Sabur has one jobber hoisted in his arms, he then drops to one knee crashing the mans body across his knree for a back breaker. Razor is perched on the middle rope, and then leaps off driving his elbow into the throat of the jobber, preforming the Demolition Decpitator. Sabur rolls the man over, and counts out loud 1.....2....3....
Sabur: Another one down. (sabur then stands up as the Jobber rolls out of the ring) So whats next.
Razor walks over to the big man whispers into his ear, and a smile comes over Saburs face. He then hollars out for another jobber to step into the ring. As the man jumps over the rops all pumped up and proud of himself, he then gets clotheslined by Razor. The bag guy makes a quick tag to Sabur, who enters fast. The Irsh Hammer plunges a shoulder into the mans ribs hoisting him up . "Hart Attack" Sabur hollars, and Razor comes a flying in ripping the mans head off with a Hart Attack. Sabur picks up the weary jobber hoists him to his shoulders, and calls out "Dooms Day Device". Razor scampers to the top rope and bam decapatates the jobber. Sabur steps out of the ring in the corner, when Ryan walks over the two exchange word again and Ryan yells out "TAG". With that another Jobber runs into the ring as he is met by a classic Razor right hand, sending him backward into the ropes. The Jobber bounces off back at the Bad Guy, and is then scooped up for a fall away slam. Razor flips the man backward, and then stands up and begins to trademark dust his hands off. He then picks the man up hoists him for the Razor's Edge, Ryan settles he feet and looks over toward Sabur. The Irish Hammer then leaps to the top rope brushes his shoulder off.....Ryan then drops the man to the mat with the edge, and Sabur launched off the top rope, diving head first then flipping over with a Swanton. The crowd of jobbers all hollar and ooooh, as then haven't seen to many men Sabur's sive preform a Swanton. A clapping noise rings out from the arena, as the smell of pot grows in the air. The two Sex and Violence members realize that Trevor had just scouted out their private tag team training session.
Trevor: Thats amazing, and great timing, a hell of a finisher, sure to be unstopable, but the two of you need to practice more than just finishers. In the match you need to be connected, know each others strengths and weakness. Razor you need to fill the void that is Sabur's fault, and Sabur needs to step up to cover your weakness. A well oiled machine is what it takes to be a great tag team, and a perfection, trust, and unity is what will make you champions.
Trevor then takes a long drag from his joint. A couple of jobbers are glued on the Career Killer as he drags on, and then finishes. He ever so perfectly blows the smoke filling the air around him. He walks closer toward the ring. The singapoire cane now held high, and the shadow of it closes in on a jobber like a slasher film as the sillouette of a knife creeps in. Then......"CRACK" Trevor levels a jobber with his trusty stick. He then smirks, obviously he couldn't control himself, and who blames him, it is one of lifes hardest addictions to hold back from fucking up a jobber. razor and Sabur continue their training. Sbur hears the crack of the cane his eye ball twitches, and boom he launches out a clothesline to a jobber, then another, then blam, drops Razor with one. Sabur then realizes what he has just done. Trevor stands there looking so proud of his protege. Ryan stands up laughing.
Razor: This guy is a fucking killer, NICE!!! (as he pats Sabur on the back)
A few hours later Sabur and the Bad Guy walk into lobby of the hotel.
Sabur: Check you out later, we are still grabbing some beers later right.
Razor: Yep, check yo later chico.
Sabur: Sorry about the clothesline, I just got carried away when I heard the cane.
Razor: No sweat.
Sabur then enters the elvator, hits the bitton and rides it to his floor. The door of the elevator slides open and the Hammer walks out and down the hall. He slides he key into the slot of his hotel room door. As the door swings open a very angry Lil Dick is standing there with arms folded burning a hole through the Irish Hammer with a glare that could kill.
Sabur: Whoa whats with the hostile peepers lil man.
Lil Dick: No I see how I rate, Jeff anounces a tag team division and you rush right out get yourself a partner in Ryan, and where am I left. Sitting in the hotel by myslef, usually it's me and it's you, tighter then glue, I never seen a man treat his Lil Dick so shitty.
Sabur: You know I think you are over reacting my lil friend, you would totally get worked over in the ring, maybe when Jeff creates a midget division, then you could get down.
Lil Dick: I don't need some shitty midget division to show what I'm working with.
Two days's later
Inside local Arena close by the site of Mayhem, at APW weekend television taping. Sabur prepares for his up coming match. Sabur laces up his boots, then begins taping his wrists. In walks Razor with a huge smile on his face, the tooth pic almost teetering off of his lip.
Razor: Hey Yo....Sabur you'll never guess who I just ran into in the hallway.
Sabur: Mean Gene Okerlund
Razor: Hey how did you guess.....nevermind Okerlund is from the eighties, and well alright what going on.
Sabur: Nothing just figured that if tag team wrestling is back tonight, and the crowing of new champions is taking place then ol' Mean Gene could stand there and hold the mic while we spit a promo.
Razor: Nice.
Sabur: Go ahead I'll meet you there, go mark out to Mean Gene I'm sure he loves a modern day mark out.
About ten minutes goes by and out walks Sabur from the locker room. He struts down the hall to see Mean Gene Okerlund and Razor standing there with a camera crew waiting for the man of moo.
Mean Gene: Man Cow, so how is the Irish Hammer?
Sabur: Good Gene'o, good, hows those old balls hanging, smacking your knees yet....So lets do this thing.
Mean Gene: Hello friends.....it's Mean Gene Okerlund here, and things around APW are heating up here. The fans have spoken and President Jeff answered, tonight we have the crowning of the first ever APW tag team champions. Joining me now is Sex and Violences own bad guy Razor Ryan and Man-cow Sabur.....fellows come on in here. Big night for you fellows, a chance to scratch your name into the history books, and become the APW's first tag team champions.
Sabur: Let me tell you somethin' Mene Gene you got the Razor (Slaps Ryan on the shoulder) and you got the Sabur (pointing back at himself), to sharp blades if you ask me, .......and well..... you didn't so fuck off.
Gene's face looks shocked
Sabur: It's a group of tag teams, jammed into the ring, all trying to achieve Greatness...ahhh tha brings up to our first team
Razor: Greatness and the Hardcore Kid......ohhhh(shaking his fingers like he's scared)
Sabur: No Razor they changed it once again. You see Chins....I just about overcooked your fat juicy hamburgered ass on last Overdrive, and now your out, first it's the ICEMAN, then it's the Greatness, and once again it's the ICEMAN, either way you slice it THK has a looser for a partner. The Hardcore Kid....THK.....You know what can be said for you that hasn't already been said. I could go into your win/loss record, but it's been addressed numerous times.
Razor: We could talk about the lengthy jobber feud between him and Royce.
Sabur: Nope, already been said, but let me see....you couldn't hack it in the singles competition, so now you mozy your ass in the tag team scene..Hardcore, Hard-ly
Razor: The Hard-Ly Kid, HA!!!
Sabur looks at Ryan with a disturbed look on his face, Razor then quickly snaps into his stiff agnry face.
Sabur: THK you are the Jello at the buffet
Razor now looks at Sabur confussed.
Sabur: It's cool roll with me buddy.....You see there are so many great tasting, deliscous dishes at a buffet. You have your baked chicken, prime rib, mac and cheese...
Razor: The home made kind like mom used make.
Sabur: Word...(Slaps five with Razor)...anyway, amungst all that great food, and salad.... you find it there, the poor pathetic THK Jello. It's not necessary to have Jello with all those other yummies no matter how fun, or good it is.
Razor: Nope not necesarry
Sabur: It's just there to fill an empty space at the salad bar. That my friends is our own THK, a space filler, the go to man when someone no shows, or gets injured. THK is eagerly waiting to run to the ring get his ass stomped, and walk back stage to pick up his pay check, which in comparasion doesn't match up to the figures scribbled on our stubs.
Razor: Word ( Razor slaps five with Sabur again)
Sabur: So what better fitting place for the Hardcore Kid
Razor: and that looser Jason Royce
Sabur: Then to fill the space needed to pull off the triple threat TLC tag Match.. Now moving on to the next particpants.... Gene your dropping the mic....did your take you vitamins this morning?
Gene then turns slowly toward Razor as Ryan shrugs his shoulder at the interview legend.
Sabur: Next we have the legends, a real work of art in the tag team division. Spirit and Ms. Steele, their number of tag team accomplishment is to long list, but folks trust me when I say this, they are legends in this sport. Sort of like you Gene'o, a legend behind the mic, a real veteran of sorts. When it came to interviews in the old days, people went to one man, thats Mean Gene Okerlund. Well Gene'o it's 2008 and time has done a number on ya..... your here shaking the mic with your old rickety hand, your balls float next to you in the jacuzi....You know somethin' Mean Gene, theres this saying....it goes Legends come and they go,
Razor: and they need to stay in the past.
"""BOOM"""
Mean Gene's bald little head gets waffled from a steel chair. His old fragile body falls limp to the ground. APW interviewer Phil comes into view of the camera, slams the chair to the ground next to Okerlund, and picks up the mic.
Phil: Sometimes legends are better off left as memories, and if you excuse me, this is my house.
Sabur: You see folks.....what is in the past should stay in the past, these two dried up old cunts want rekindle their illustrious tag team career, well just like poor old Gene'o here they are in for a lesson, of what is the future. You see ladies, this isn't G.L.O.W..... that ship has sailed, you two may be Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling....
Razor: Well Dianna's hot, but Tara Jacobs is creepy.
Sabur: Yeah I really never got over the whole visual of her being a man before.....anyways....theres gold on the line, a few teams, but the rattings boost will come when the Razor and the Sabur cut your little careers in half. Ladies listen close (cupping his ear)...can you here that.....
Razor: It's the dishes calling, so bitches get your asses home, where you belong...
Sabur: and stay the fuck out of our ring.
Sabur and Razor walk off camera ass Phil kicks the downed Mean Gene Okerlund and exits the view of the camera as well.
Sabur: Another one down. (sabur then stands up as the Jobber rolls out of the ring) So whats next.
Razor walks over to the big man whispers into his ear, and a smile comes over Saburs face. He then hollars out for another jobber to step into the ring. As the man jumps over the rops all pumped up and proud of himself, he then gets clotheslined by Razor. The bag guy makes a quick tag to Sabur, who enters fast. The Irsh Hammer plunges a shoulder into the mans ribs hoisting him up . "Hart Attack" Sabur hollars, and Razor comes a flying in ripping the mans head off with a Hart Attack. Sabur picks up the weary jobber hoists him to his shoulders, and calls out "Dooms Day Device". Razor scampers to the top rope and bam decapatates the jobber. Sabur steps out of the ring in the corner, when Ryan walks over the two exchange word again and Ryan yells out "TAG". With that another Jobber runs into the ring as he is met by a classic Razor right hand, sending him backward into the ropes. The Jobber bounces off back at the Bad Guy, and is then scooped up for a fall away slam. Razor flips the man backward, and then stands up and begins to trademark dust his hands off. He then picks the man up hoists him for the Razor's Edge, Ryan settles he feet and looks over toward Sabur. The Irish Hammer then leaps to the top rope brushes his shoulder off.....Ryan then drops the man to the mat with the edge, and Sabur launched off the top rope, diving head first then flipping over with a Swanton. The crowd of jobbers all hollar and ooooh, as then haven't seen to many men Sabur's sive preform a Swanton. A clapping noise rings out from the arena, as the smell of pot grows in the air. The two Sex and Violence members realize that Trevor had just scouted out their private tag team training session.
Trevor: Thats amazing, and great timing, a hell of a finisher, sure to be unstopable, but the two of you need to practice more than just finishers. In the match you need to be connected, know each others strengths and weakness. Razor you need to fill the void that is Sabur's fault, and Sabur needs to step up to cover your weakness. A well oiled machine is what it takes to be a great tag team, and a perfection, trust, and unity is what will make you champions.
Trevor then takes a long drag from his joint. A couple of jobbers are glued on the Career Killer as he drags on, and then finishes. He ever so perfectly blows the smoke filling the air around him. He walks closer toward the ring. The singapoire cane now held high, and the shadow of it closes in on a jobber like a slasher film as the sillouette of a knife creeps in. Then......"CRACK" Trevor levels a jobber with his trusty stick. He then smirks, obviously he couldn't control himself, and who blames him, it is one of lifes hardest addictions to hold back from fucking up a jobber. razor and Sabur continue their training. Sbur hears the crack of the cane his eye ball twitches, and boom he launches out a clothesline to a jobber, then another, then blam, drops Razor with one. Sabur then realizes what he has just done. Trevor stands there looking so proud of his protege. Ryan stands up laughing.
Razor: This guy is a fucking killer, NICE!!! (as he pats Sabur on the back)
A few hours later Sabur and the Bad Guy walk into lobby of the hotel.
Sabur: Check you out later, we are still grabbing some beers later right.
Razor: Yep, check yo later chico.
Sabur: Sorry about the clothesline, I just got carried away when I heard the cane.
Razor: No sweat.
Sabur then enters the elvator, hits the bitton and rides it to his floor. The door of the elevator slides open and the Hammer walks out and down the hall. He slides he key into the slot of his hotel room door. As the door swings open a very angry Lil Dick is standing there with arms folded burning a hole through the Irish Hammer with a glare that could kill.
Sabur: Whoa whats with the hostile peepers lil man.
Lil Dick: No I see how I rate, Jeff anounces a tag team division and you rush right out get yourself a partner in Ryan, and where am I left. Sitting in the hotel by myslef, usually it's me and it's you, tighter then glue, I never seen a man treat his Lil Dick so shitty.
Sabur: You know I think you are over reacting my lil friend, you would totally get worked over in the ring, maybe when Jeff creates a midget division, then you could get down.
Lil Dick: I don't need some shitty midget division to show what I'm working with.
Two days's later
Inside local Arena close by the site of Mayhem, at APW weekend television taping. Sabur prepares for his up coming match. Sabur laces up his boots, then begins taping his wrists. In walks Razor with a huge smile on his face, the tooth pic almost teetering off of his lip.
Razor: Hey Yo....Sabur you'll never guess who I just ran into in the hallway.
Sabur: Mean Gene Okerlund
Razor: Hey how did you guess.....nevermind Okerlund is from the eighties, and well alright what going on.
Sabur: Nothing just figured that if tag team wrestling is back tonight, and the crowing of new champions is taking place then ol' Mean Gene could stand there and hold the mic while we spit a promo.
Razor: Nice.
Sabur: Go ahead I'll meet you there, go mark out to Mean Gene I'm sure he loves a modern day mark out.
About ten minutes goes by and out walks Sabur from the locker room. He struts down the hall to see Mean Gene Okerlund and Razor standing there with a camera crew waiting for the man of moo.
Mean Gene: Man Cow, so how is the Irish Hammer?
Sabur: Good Gene'o, good, hows those old balls hanging, smacking your knees yet....So lets do this thing.
Mean Gene: Hello friends.....it's Mean Gene Okerlund here, and things around APW are heating up here. The fans have spoken and President Jeff answered, tonight we have the crowning of the first ever APW tag team champions. Joining me now is Sex and Violences own bad guy Razor Ryan and Man-cow Sabur.....fellows come on in here. Big night for you fellows, a chance to scratch your name into the history books, and become the APW's first tag team champions.
Sabur: Let me tell you somethin' Mene Gene you got the Razor (Slaps Ryan on the shoulder) and you got the Sabur (pointing back at himself), to sharp blades if you ask me, .......and well..... you didn't so fuck off.
Gene's face looks shocked
Sabur: It's a group of tag teams, jammed into the ring, all trying to achieve Greatness...ahhh tha brings up to our first team
Razor: Greatness and the Hardcore Kid......ohhhh(shaking his fingers like he's scared)
Sabur: No Razor they changed it once again. You see Chins....I just about overcooked your fat juicy hamburgered ass on last Overdrive, and now your out, first it's the ICEMAN, then it's the Greatness, and once again it's the ICEMAN, either way you slice it THK has a looser for a partner. The Hardcore Kid....THK.....You know what can be said for you that hasn't already been said. I could go into your win/loss record, but it's been addressed numerous times.
Razor: We could talk about the lengthy jobber feud between him and Royce.
Sabur: Nope, already been said, but let me see....you couldn't hack it in the singles competition, so now you mozy your ass in the tag team scene..Hardcore, Hard-ly
Razor: The Hard-Ly Kid, HA!!!
Sabur looks at Ryan with a disturbed look on his face, Razor then quickly snaps into his stiff agnry face.
Sabur: THK you are the Jello at the buffet
Razor now looks at Sabur confussed.
Sabur: It's cool roll with me buddy.....You see there are so many great tasting, deliscous dishes at a buffet. You have your baked chicken, prime rib, mac and cheese...
Razor: The home made kind like mom used make.
Sabur: Word...(Slaps five with Razor)...anyway, amungst all that great food, and salad.... you find it there, the poor pathetic THK Jello. It's not necessary to have Jello with all those other yummies no matter how fun, or good it is.
Razor: Nope not necesarry
Sabur: It's just there to fill an empty space at the salad bar. That my friends is our own THK, a space filler, the go to man when someone no shows, or gets injured. THK is eagerly waiting to run to the ring get his ass stomped, and walk back stage to pick up his pay check, which in comparasion doesn't match up to the figures scribbled on our stubs.
Razor: Word ( Razor slaps five with Sabur again)
Sabur: So what better fitting place for the Hardcore Kid
Razor: and that looser Jason Royce
Sabur: Then to fill the space needed to pull off the triple threat TLC tag Match.. Now moving on to the next particpants.... Gene your dropping the mic....did your take you vitamins this morning?
Gene then turns slowly toward Razor as Ryan shrugs his shoulder at the interview legend.
Sabur: Next we have the legends, a real work of art in the tag team division. Spirit and Ms. Steele, their number of tag team accomplishment is to long list, but folks trust me when I say this, they are legends in this sport. Sort of like you Gene'o, a legend behind the mic, a real veteran of sorts. When it came to interviews in the old days, people went to one man, thats Mean Gene Okerlund. Well Gene'o it's 2008 and time has done a number on ya..... your here shaking the mic with your old rickety hand, your balls float next to you in the jacuzi....You know somethin' Mean Gene, theres this saying....it goes Legends come and they go,
Razor: and they need to stay in the past.
"""BOOM"""
Mean Gene's bald little head gets waffled from a steel chair. His old fragile body falls limp to the ground. APW interviewer Phil comes into view of the camera, slams the chair to the ground next to Okerlund, and picks up the mic.
Phil: Sometimes legends are better off left as memories, and if you excuse me, this is my house.
Sabur: You see folks.....what is in the past should stay in the past, these two dried up old cunts want rekindle their illustrious tag team career, well just like poor old Gene'o here they are in for a lesson, of what is the future. You see ladies, this isn't G.L.O.W..... that ship has sailed, you two may be Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling....
Razor: Well Dianna's hot, but Tara Jacobs is creepy.
Sabur: Yeah I really never got over the whole visual of her being a man before.....anyways....theres gold on the line, a few teams, but the rattings boost will come when the Razor and the Sabur cut your little careers in half. Ladies listen close (cupping his ear)...can you here that.....
Razor: It's the dishes calling, so bitches get your asses home, where you belong...
Sabur: and stay the fuck out of our ring.
Sabur and Razor walk off camera ass Phil kicks the downed Mean Gene Okerlund and exits the view of the camera as well.
