Post by 2nd Generation Saints on Dec 15, 2011 2:52:20 GMT -4
Cameras fade in on a small press conference being held in New York City's Public Library, where Anti -Society X is standing by to discuss Action Packed Wrestling's upcoming Pay Per View, Christmas Chaos, and their kickoff dark match against the unorthodox team of Brandy Boyer & Terry Lee Richards.Cid Phoenix steps up on a stage & waves them down, awaiting for the murmuring crowd to lower their voices and stop speaking, before motioning over to his erstwhile partner, Dan Bochner. Dan then steps forth and raises a mic to his lips, and begins to speak, but the crowd kicks up a clamor once again..
DAN: My Partner & I would like to address the comments made by our opponents for Christmas Chaos. People, please, hear us out..
The murmurs die down, as Dan nods and continues.
DAN: Thank you, and thank you all for being here. Now as you all know, this month is [glow=red,2,300]Christmas Chaos[/glow], a very important Pay-Per-View for Action Packed Wrestling. And as such, some of you people don't even know who the hell we are, which explains why this place isn't as packed as our agent, Tim Timmons told us it would be..
Dan looks over his shoulder at a man apearing to be about 6 foot something, with blunde hair sporting sunglasses. The man known as Timmons, shrugs his shoulders. Dan chuckles and shakes his head as he turns towards the crowd.
DAN: Ahem! But that's beside the point. Now for those of you who don't know us.. lemme give y'all a history lesson as to just who my partner and myself are, and what the exact reason is for us coming to Action Packed Wrestling.
Dan pauses to smile alongside Cid a moment for a photo opportunity.
DAN: The reason we came to this company, is to get a fair shot, and by fair shot, we mean that we've come here to shine by our own merit, without having to take backseats to company politics and plans to put insecure mooks over and lay down for those who desperately wanna hold onto what's left of their fading careers. This isn't "[glow=red,2,300]Las Vegas Wrestling[/glow]", and we're proud of that. Our company president's name is Jeff, and last we checked, Action Packed Wrestling was run by him, not some guy behind-the-scenes who calls himself Mr. Henry!
There is instant murmuring from the crowd. Cid leans over and can clearly be heard saying how it "--smells so [glow=red,2,300]Fresh[/glow], in here.", to which Bochner chuckles.
DAN: Yeah, that's right, some of you know who I am referring to, and that person is right beside the point I'm trying to make, because he can no longer stop me and my partner from going forward in our careers!
Cid steps forward and speaks.
CID: Yeah, that's right. My partner said it. And I know that we're not supposed to cut the mustard and speak about where we came from, and we'll probably be reprimanded for it, but it won't be the first time that we get into hot water for exercising our freedom of speech. The problem with Las Vegas, which is where we came from or as they like to call it the [glow=red,2,300]City Of Sin[/glow], is that there are too many has-beens and never were's who are constantly using company politics to try and hold down real talent such as myself and my partner - who can wrestle circles around any of those idiots any day of the week!
Cid kicks the podium which goes toppling forward and into the scrambling crowd, as it narrowly misses several reporters.
CID: Make no mistake about it, people - My partner and I are one of the greatest Tag Teams EVER to grace a wrestling ring, be it in Las Vegas, New York City, Mexico, California- you can name the place and we'll shine because we ARE that damned good! Not because we have a buddy who owns and runs a place and not because we hide behind some [glow=red,2,300]EXPERT[/glow] opinion on things. We are bonafide RINGMASTERS and at [glow=red,2,300]Christmas Chaos[/glow], all of you here, and all of the Action Packed Wrestling audience are going to see just that!
Dan Bochner pats his partner's back.
DAN: That's right, partner! Unlike some of the so-called greatest who can't seem to cut a decent promo to save their own God forsaken lives, we are talented, outspoken and larger than life SUPERSTARS who are cocky because we can be and arrogant because whatever shit we say we can definitely back up inside of ANY ring! We're not sniveling cowards who hide behind federation political asylum like some people!
Cid sneezes into the mic.
CID: Doug-Choo!
Dan turns to his partner.
DAN: Gesundheit, Buddy.
CID: Thanks.
Dan then turns his attention back to the listening audience.
DAN: But yes, Cid! Your sneezing nonwithstanding - It's as if we've finally gotten the rotten stink of [glow=red,2,300]Sin City[/glow] off of our backs! Adios Las Vegas, Hello Big Apple! Hello [glow=red,2,300]APW[/glow]!!!
Dan and Cid both smile for another photo-op, before Cid raises his microphone and speaks.
CID: Now that we've just about killed the first part of our promo with talking out of character and tellin' it like it is fed-wise, does anyone have a worthwhile question concerning our match against that skank Brandy Boyer and the relic Terry Lee Richards?
Dan looks to the clamoring reporters - a man of milk-white skin with glasses and a huge orange colored afro, who raises his hand. Cid and Dan nod in his direction and Cid points towards him.
CID: You..The Napoleon Dynamite/Poindexter from 1984's Revenge of The Nerds look-a-like.
The orange Cotton Candy haired man in glasses steps forth.
ANSON: Hello, I'm Anson Peters.. Mat Channel News. What have you guys been doing that it took this long to hold a Press Conference?
The two men collectively known as the [glow=red,2,300]ASX[/glow] look at eachother and shake their heads. Cid almost looks as if he's about to burst out in hysterical laughter, while Dan looks insulted.
DAN: Are you serious? Excuse me, Sir - are you fucking serious? That is your question? We come here from shitty, corrupt Las Vegas to New York, where it is a helluva lot better, and you have the absolute nerve - No, you have the unlitigated gall to stand there and ask what we have been doing this entire time since getting our contracts & being booked in our first Action Packed Wrestling match against some hooker named Brandy and her 87 year old granpa. Are you serious, man?
Anson Peters just stares at Dan and blinks twice. Cid's brow furrows as he speaks.
CID: Hold on a sec, partner - I got this. Anson Peters, was it?
ANSON: Yes, from Mat Channel News.
CID: Hmmm.. Okay. Where are you from, Anson?
ANSON: Boston, Massachusetts.
Upon hearing the man's answer, Cid turns towards his partner, who nods his head somewhat knowingly.
CID: Holy shit! THAT explains alot.. You probably think the Earth is flat, right?
ANSON: Uhm, No...
Cid Phoenix then turns his attention to the crowd of spectators.
CID: Ladies and Gentlemen! Please, pay close attention! It's moments like these that are the reason why I get out of bed in the morning!
Cid turns his attention back to Anson.
CID: Now, Anson. Being from New York myself, I'm going to kindly ask that you come on up here. You've deserved this honor.
Anson's eyes widen. He's never been honored before. He scrambles around the front of the elevated stage and climbs up the short steps onto the platform. He passes Timmons, who looks at him shaking his head, and walks towards Phoenix and Bochner, who smile at him and then at one another. He comes to a halt in between the two, who each put a hand on his shoulder. Cid Phoenix turns to the crowd, smiling.
CID: Now Ladies and Gentlemen - Can we have a round of applause for Mr. Boston, Anson Peters?
The crowd obliges, as Anson gives them a sqinty smile, a'la Gilbert Gottfried and waves. Cid then looks at Dan.
CID: You wanna take this while I get this man's prize, partner?
Dan smirks and raises the mic to his lips.
DAN: Sure. Why not?
Dan turns to Anson.
DAN: Anson, just because you asked such a [glow=red,2,300]genius[/glow]question, we're going to have you stand way behind us and face that corner over there. And if you for any reason whatsoever, move from there, my partner and I will beat you senseless, so fucking help me God. Now go and stand in that corner and don't you move one goddamned inch!
Anson is trembling as he does as he is told. Cid Phoenix comes over and slaps a dunce cap on the man's head & starts to laugh, as he points at an embarrassed Anson. Bochner shakes his head as he waves off another query and just speaks..
DAN: Really, there's really not much more for us to say, folks! We've heard what that foul-mouthed meth-whore Brandy had to say, and even caught some of Terry Lee Richards' apparent lost promo, which now seems to have vanished into thin air for some inexplicable reason.. However, we DID manage to retrieve a foto from this man's rookie year in Hardcore Backyard wrestling. Now If you will all turn your attention to the expensive flatscreen that we got just for this momentous occasion, you'll see Terry Lee Richards in his rookie year..
A suspended flatscreen behind them comes to life, and reveals..
Both members of the [glow=red,2,300]ASX[/glow] stare at the image & chuckle for a moment, before Dan continues.
We also caught a picture of Brandy Boyer just before cutting her infamous foul-mouthed promo. Here THAT is..
And last but not least, we caught a glimpse of the wrestling attire that Terry Lee Richards will be wearing at Christmas Chaos...
DAN: What a freakin' joke. Between having to face some plucky trailer park prostitute in Brandy Boyer, and some grizzled, old wrinkly Alzheimers patient in Terry Lee Richards, I'd say this match was gonna be a breeze. I mean sure we could stand here and talk about how we're gonna beat a bowel movement out of poor, old Terry Lee Richards OR we could talk about how we're going to basically beat Brandy Boyer like "Tina Turner versus the team of Ike Turner and Joe Jackson", but seriously - why would we wanna do that? I think it's more fun to keep quiet about what we're gonna do and show the Action Packed audience come [glow=red,2,300]Christmas Chaos[/glow] what the ASX is all about!
Cid raises his mic and laughs before speaking.
CID: Terry Lee Richards, you'd better bring your depends, because we don't want'cha leaving a stain in the middle of the ring! And Brandy, you vapid bitch, you'd better wash your ass real good, because my partner and I are gonna double team you like a gangbang crackwhore gutterslut doing a double penetration porn video! That's right honey, you're gonna end up doing mouth to ass, in that you used that mouth to talk all that trash and now we're gonna kick that ass all over the ring! And Terry, I since you can't seem to remember where you put that promo you cut, maybe that Alzheimer's will come in handy somewhat, and save you when you forget which way to get to the ring! HAHAHA But all jokes aside, Methuselah - the bottom line is that my partner and I are going to beat the ancient, ever-livin' shit outta you like the ThunderCats on Mumm-Ra!"
Dan raises his mic and speaks.
DAN: So what we suggest, is that everybody gets ready for the most brutal dark match in Action Packed history, because my partner and I intend on making an example outta these two losers and showing you all why we are the greatest tag team EVER to grace an Action Packed Wrestling ring! Brandy! You and that dessicated mummy partner, EbenGeezer Scrooge are in for a short drop and a sudden stop, courtesy of the Anti-Society X! No more fuckin' questions!
Both Phoenix and Bochner drop their microphones and walk off of the stage, whilst reporters all clamor and try to get a word in over one another. As they leave, their agent, grabs Anson by the back of the hair and drags him to the edge of the stage, where he tosses him off by his afro. Anson Peters crashes into the front row of people, bowling them over and causing a mess of fallen bodies. Timmons dusts his hands off and smiles to himself as he nods his head.
TIM: Hmm, maybe I DID retire too soon!
Cameras fade out.
DAN: My Partner & I would like to address the comments made by our opponents for Christmas Chaos. People, please, hear us out..
The murmurs die down, as Dan nods and continues.
DAN: Thank you, and thank you all for being here. Now as you all know, this month is [glow=red,2,300]Christmas Chaos[/glow], a very important Pay-Per-View for Action Packed Wrestling. And as such, some of you people don't even know who the hell we are, which explains why this place isn't as packed as our agent, Tim Timmons told us it would be..
Dan looks over his shoulder at a man apearing to be about 6 foot something, with blunde hair sporting sunglasses. The man known as Timmons, shrugs his shoulders. Dan chuckles and shakes his head as he turns towards the crowd.
DAN: Ahem! But that's beside the point. Now for those of you who don't know us.. lemme give y'all a history lesson as to just who my partner and myself are, and what the exact reason is for us coming to Action Packed Wrestling.
Dan pauses to smile alongside Cid a moment for a photo opportunity.
DAN: The reason we came to this company, is to get a fair shot, and by fair shot, we mean that we've come here to shine by our own merit, without having to take backseats to company politics and plans to put insecure mooks over and lay down for those who desperately wanna hold onto what's left of their fading careers. This isn't "[glow=red,2,300]Las Vegas Wrestling[/glow]", and we're proud of that. Our company president's name is Jeff, and last we checked, Action Packed Wrestling was run by him, not some guy behind-the-scenes who calls himself Mr. Henry!
There is instant murmuring from the crowd. Cid leans over and can clearly be heard saying how it "--smells so [glow=red,2,300]Fresh[/glow], in here.", to which Bochner chuckles.
DAN: Yeah, that's right, some of you know who I am referring to, and that person is right beside the point I'm trying to make, because he can no longer stop me and my partner from going forward in our careers!
Cid steps forward and speaks.
CID: Yeah, that's right. My partner said it. And I know that we're not supposed to cut the mustard and speak about where we came from, and we'll probably be reprimanded for it, but it won't be the first time that we get into hot water for exercising our freedom of speech. The problem with Las Vegas, which is where we came from or as they like to call it the [glow=red,2,300]City Of Sin[/glow], is that there are too many has-beens and never were's who are constantly using company politics to try and hold down real talent such as myself and my partner - who can wrestle circles around any of those idiots any day of the week!
Cid kicks the podium which goes toppling forward and into the scrambling crowd, as it narrowly misses several reporters.
CID: Make no mistake about it, people - My partner and I are one of the greatest Tag Teams EVER to grace a wrestling ring, be it in Las Vegas, New York City, Mexico, California- you can name the place and we'll shine because we ARE that damned good! Not because we have a buddy who owns and runs a place and not because we hide behind some [glow=red,2,300]EXPERT[/glow] opinion on things. We are bonafide RINGMASTERS and at [glow=red,2,300]Christmas Chaos[/glow], all of you here, and all of the Action Packed Wrestling audience are going to see just that!
Dan Bochner pats his partner's back.
DAN: That's right, partner! Unlike some of the so-called greatest who can't seem to cut a decent promo to save their own God forsaken lives, we are talented, outspoken and larger than life SUPERSTARS who are cocky because we can be and arrogant because whatever shit we say we can definitely back up inside of ANY ring! We're not sniveling cowards who hide behind federation political asylum like some people!
Cid sneezes into the mic.
CID: Doug-Choo!
Dan turns to his partner.
DAN: Gesundheit, Buddy.
CID: Thanks.
Dan then turns his attention back to the listening audience.
DAN: But yes, Cid! Your sneezing nonwithstanding - It's as if we've finally gotten the rotten stink of [glow=red,2,300]Sin City[/glow] off of our backs! Adios Las Vegas, Hello Big Apple! Hello [glow=red,2,300]APW[/glow]!!!
Dan and Cid both smile for another photo-op, before Cid raises his microphone and speaks.
CID: Now that we've just about killed the first part of our promo with talking out of character and tellin' it like it is fed-wise, does anyone have a worthwhile question concerning our match against that skank Brandy Boyer and the relic Terry Lee Richards?
Dan looks to the clamoring reporters - a man of milk-white skin with glasses and a huge orange colored afro, who raises his hand. Cid and Dan nod in his direction and Cid points towards him.
CID: You..The Napoleon Dynamite/Poindexter from 1984's Revenge of The Nerds look-a-like.
The orange Cotton Candy haired man in glasses steps forth.
ANSON: Hello, I'm Anson Peters.. Mat Channel News. What have you guys been doing that it took this long to hold a Press Conference?
The two men collectively known as the [glow=red,2,300]ASX[/glow] look at eachother and shake their heads. Cid almost looks as if he's about to burst out in hysterical laughter, while Dan looks insulted.
DAN: Are you serious? Excuse me, Sir - are you fucking serious? That is your question? We come here from shitty, corrupt Las Vegas to New York, where it is a helluva lot better, and you have the absolute nerve - No, you have the unlitigated gall to stand there and ask what we have been doing this entire time since getting our contracts & being booked in our first Action Packed Wrestling match against some hooker named Brandy and her 87 year old granpa. Are you serious, man?
Anson Peters just stares at Dan and blinks twice. Cid's brow furrows as he speaks.
CID: Hold on a sec, partner - I got this. Anson Peters, was it?
ANSON: Yes, from Mat Channel News.
CID: Hmmm.. Okay. Where are you from, Anson?
ANSON: Boston, Massachusetts.
Upon hearing the man's answer, Cid turns towards his partner, who nods his head somewhat knowingly.
CID: Holy shit! THAT explains alot.. You probably think the Earth is flat, right?
ANSON: Uhm, No...
Cid Phoenix then turns his attention to the crowd of spectators.
CID: Ladies and Gentlemen! Please, pay close attention! It's moments like these that are the reason why I get out of bed in the morning!
Cid turns his attention back to Anson.
CID: Now, Anson. Being from New York myself, I'm going to kindly ask that you come on up here. You've deserved this honor.
Anson's eyes widen. He's never been honored before. He scrambles around the front of the elevated stage and climbs up the short steps onto the platform. He passes Timmons, who looks at him shaking his head, and walks towards Phoenix and Bochner, who smile at him and then at one another. He comes to a halt in between the two, who each put a hand on his shoulder. Cid Phoenix turns to the crowd, smiling.
CID: Now Ladies and Gentlemen - Can we have a round of applause for Mr. Boston, Anson Peters?
The crowd obliges, as Anson gives them a sqinty smile, a'la Gilbert Gottfried and waves. Cid then looks at Dan.
CID: You wanna take this while I get this man's prize, partner?
Dan smirks and raises the mic to his lips.
DAN: Sure. Why not?
Dan turns to Anson.
DAN: Anson, just because you asked such a [glow=red,2,300]genius[/glow]question, we're going to have you stand way behind us and face that corner over there. And if you for any reason whatsoever, move from there, my partner and I will beat you senseless, so fucking help me God. Now go and stand in that corner and don't you move one goddamned inch!
Anson is trembling as he does as he is told. Cid Phoenix comes over and slaps a dunce cap on the man's head & starts to laugh, as he points at an embarrassed Anson. Bochner shakes his head as he waves off another query and just speaks..
DAN: Really, there's really not much more for us to say, folks! We've heard what that foul-mouthed meth-whore Brandy had to say, and even caught some of Terry Lee Richards' apparent lost promo, which now seems to have vanished into thin air for some inexplicable reason.. However, we DID manage to retrieve a foto from this man's rookie year in Hardcore Backyard wrestling. Now If you will all turn your attention to the expensive flatscreen that we got just for this momentous occasion, you'll see Terry Lee Richards in his rookie year..
A suspended flatscreen behind them comes to life, and reveals..
Both members of the [glow=red,2,300]ASX[/glow] stare at the image & chuckle for a moment, before Dan continues.
We also caught a picture of Brandy Boyer just before cutting her infamous foul-mouthed promo. Here THAT is..
And last but not least, we caught a glimpse of the wrestling attire that Terry Lee Richards will be wearing at Christmas Chaos...
DAN: What a freakin' joke. Between having to face some plucky trailer park prostitute in Brandy Boyer, and some grizzled, old wrinkly Alzheimers patient in Terry Lee Richards, I'd say this match was gonna be a breeze. I mean sure we could stand here and talk about how we're gonna beat a bowel movement out of poor, old Terry Lee Richards OR we could talk about how we're going to basically beat Brandy Boyer like "Tina Turner versus the team of Ike Turner and Joe Jackson", but seriously - why would we wanna do that? I think it's more fun to keep quiet about what we're gonna do and show the Action Packed audience come [glow=red,2,300]Christmas Chaos[/glow] what the ASX is all about!
Cid raises his mic and laughs before speaking.
CID: Terry Lee Richards, you'd better bring your depends, because we don't want'cha leaving a stain in the middle of the ring! And Brandy, you vapid bitch, you'd better wash your ass real good, because my partner and I are gonna double team you like a gangbang crackwhore gutterslut doing a double penetration porn video! That's right honey, you're gonna end up doing mouth to ass, in that you used that mouth to talk all that trash and now we're gonna kick that ass all over the ring! And Terry, I since you can't seem to remember where you put that promo you cut, maybe that Alzheimer's will come in handy somewhat, and save you when you forget which way to get to the ring! HAHAHA But all jokes aside, Methuselah - the bottom line is that my partner and I are going to beat the ancient, ever-livin' shit outta you like the ThunderCats on Mumm-Ra!"
Dan raises his mic and speaks.
DAN: So what we suggest, is that everybody gets ready for the most brutal dark match in Action Packed history, because my partner and I intend on making an example outta these two losers and showing you all why we are the greatest tag team EVER to grace an Action Packed Wrestling ring! Brandy! You and that dessicated mummy partner, EbenGeezer Scrooge are in for a short drop and a sudden stop, courtesy of the Anti-Society X! No more fuckin' questions!
Both Phoenix and Bochner drop their microphones and walk off of the stage, whilst reporters all clamor and try to get a word in over one another. As they leave, their agent, grabs Anson by the back of the hair and drags him to the edge of the stage, where he tosses him off by his afro. Anson Peters crashes into the front row of people, bowling them over and causing a mess of fallen bodies. Timmons dusts his hands off and smiles to himself as he nods his head.
TIM: Hmm, maybe I DID retire too soon!
Cameras fade out.
