And now for the Mushy Part!

[biggs]

Monday, December 12th
3:30 pm

”Hey babe, it's time to get going to pick up your dress from the frame shop! They close in an hour and a half!” I yell up the stairs. It's my One Year Anniversary with my wife, Ellie, and she thinks that her Anniversary present is that I went and had her dress framed in a shadow box for display in our home. Little does she know that I never went to the frame store, but instead, I went to the dress shop where she orignally got it, and paid for them to restore the dress and make a few slight alterations. The truth is, her Anniversary present is that we'll be renewing our vows, this time with friends and family involved. Considering the fact that one year ago today we eloped to Vegas and got hitched in a quickie chapel, I couldn't think of anything that would be better than giving her the big spectacle she had always imagined growing up.

”I'll be right down!” she calls. From the sound of her voice, it sounds like she's probably still in front of the mirror, making sure her earrings are in straight and that her makeup is just right. That's one thing I love about Ellie is that even though she knows I'll love her no matter how she looks, she still wants to look special just for me.

The whole business of putting together a secret Vow Renewal Ceremony, or the “Real Wedding,” as her parents John and Carol have been calling it, certainly hasn't been easy, with making sure all the details are perfect, making sure everyone is paid, with cash, just so she wouldn't see it on our e-banking statements, and most difficult of all, making sure everyone involved kept their mouths shut, especially my mom. Still, as far as I know, things are going off without a hitch so far. While Ellie is still readying herself upstairs, I get a call on my cellphone. I look at the screen before answering it, seeing that it's Ellie's mom.

”Hi Carol, this is Gary,” I answer.

”Hi Gary! Just wanted to let you know that the decorations just got finished, and the tailor got here with Ellie's dress! John and your father have your tux as well. You're going to be bringing Ellie by in half-an-hour, right?”

”That's the plan, if she ever gets finished with her makeup!”

”Oh, don't let her put too much on! We're just going to wash it off and re-do it when she gets here...”

”I think it's too late, she's coming down the stairs now. See you soon!” I quickly hang up the phone as I see Ellie descending down the stairs. She looks absolutely radiant in a sensible purple blouse and a black skirt with boots.

”Who was it, honey?” she asks as she's on her way down.

”Oh, it was just the guy at the frame shop making sure we were still coming today. I told him we'd be right over,” I respond, trying with all my might to withhold the excitement I'm feeling at the moment. We head out to our blue Prius, and I hold the door open for her like I always do, before getting in on the other side myself. From the moment we pull out of the driveway, until we get to the church building on Queen Anne Hill, I want to tell Ellie exactly what we're doing. But I also know that it'll be so much more perfect as a surprise. As we reach the church where I used to be a member, Ellie gives me a quizzical look.

”Why are we stopping at the church? We haven't been here since your grandma came up.”

”I just got to stop in for a moment. Jay says he has an Anniversary present for us, and that he'd here at this time.”

”Well that's nice of him. Wait a second, why is your parent's car parked in front of the church?” she asks, pointing towards the black Cadillac my dad drives.

I feign ignorance as I reply, ”No, it can't be his! My dad's car has that little dent on the bumper that while barely noticeable, is still noticeable! Anyways, my dad lives in Olympia. There's no way he'd come up to Seattle without telling me.”

”No, that has to be his car. The license plate number is his. 432-XOT. That's your dad's car!”

”Wow, really? You remember license plate numbers?”

”It's a hobby of mine.”

”It sure is a strange hobby. Still if it is him, why don't we go inside and see what the heck he could possibly be doing up here,” I say with a sly smile across my face. I exit the car, and open my wife's door, offering my hand to help her out of the car. We continue to hold hands as we cross the street and make our way into the foyer, which is empty, save for my good friend, Jay Whitaker, the minister of the church. He's dressed in a nice suit with a white shirt and purple tie. The doors to the sanctuary are closed, but we can hear the light hum of conversation coming from the other side.

”Gary and Ellie! It's so great to see you! Happy Anniversary!” Jay says warmly as he gives both of us hugs.

”Okay, this is strange. What's going on here?”

Jay looks at me and grins, and I smirk right back. ”I think you should tell her,” Jay says.

I grab a hold of both of Ellie's hands, and look her in eyes. While I have Ellie's undivided attention, Jay quickly pulls out his phone and starts typing a text message. ”Ellie, I got to come clean, babe. I never took your dress to the frame shop to get it mounted in a shadow box. I took it to the dress shop to get cleaned and altered so that you could wear it today...”

I don't even have to finish explaining myself before tears of joy are running down her face. ”You mean we get to have our big wedding?”

”Well technically a marriage vows renewal ceremony, but yeah...”

”Please, it's the real wedding!” Jay quips as the two sets of double doors leading to the sanctuary burst open and our friends and family yell out “SURPRISE!”

By this point, Ellie has absolutely lost it, and can't believe what I've pulled off. Both of our moms run up to her and give her tight squeezes. ”Don't cry too much, sweetie, we got to get you ready!” Carol says as her and my mom lead Ellie off to the room where her dress is hanging up, waiting to be worn.

Ellie's dad, John, comes up beside me and gives me a firm handshake. ”I think this is really neat what you've done here, son.”

”Believe me, sir, I had a lot of help, especially from Carol!” It's the truth. None of this would have been possible without all the hard work of my mother-in-law, who took it upon herself to do all the busy work of actually inviting people and making sure that I didn't have to do anything that could potentially tip Ellie off about the surprise.

My dad walks up and gives me a hug, asking me, ”Did she have any idea?”

”Well, she did recognize your car, license plate and all!”

”Really? She memorized my license plate number?”

”Yep.”

”Hey, Gary, we probably don't want to keep these people waiting too much longer. You should go get ready yourself!”

My dad and John whisk me away to the back room where my tux is waiting. The one concession I made in planning this for ease of keeping it a secret is that I decided that our parents would make up the wedding party with my mom and Carol sharing duties of the Matrons of Honor, and my dad and John serving as the Best Men. My old man and John are already dapper in their black tuxes, with white shirts and ties. Their ties are different colors though, as John is wearing purple, Ellie's favorite color, and my dad is wearing blue, my favorite. My tuxedo is bright blue, custom made, of course, with a white shirt and blue tie. In a nod to my wrestling attire, I have a pair of my wrestling boots ready to slip on. It takes me less than five minutes to get ready, and when Jay comes into the room to tell me that it'll still be about twenty minutes til Ellie's ready, he goes over the rundown of the ceremony with me once more.

The whole thing will start with the entrances of the parents, with my dad escorting my mom down the aisle, and both of them standing on my side, followed by Ellie's parents doing the same. Then I'll make my entrance, to music, which is kind of a fun tradition held by the church when I was a member. And even though I'm not part of the church right now, Jay has asked me to keep this part in. ”I've been told you'll be coming out to your wrestling entrance theme?”

”Hey, 'Spaceman' is about as good a song as any for me to come out to. Plus, I think folks are kind of expecting it,” I chuckle.

”They probably are,” he admits.

The next twenty minutes are an absolute blur, but before long, I find myself standing in front of one of the double doors, watching my parents walk down the right aisle, then Ellie's walking down the left. I still haven't seen Ellie yet, but before long, the church lights are turned down and “Spaceman” begins to play over the speakers! I enter the church to thunderous cheers, and slap fives with the guests lucky enough to get an aisle seat. I dance down the aisle much like I would an entrance ramp, and once I reach the stage, and the lights come back on, I finally get my first look at the decorations.

Carol and my mom did a bang up job, as the church is decorated with purple and blue flowers placed strategically around the sanctuary, and white streamers are hanging down from the giant chandelier in the center of the room. The pews have a single flower attached at each end, alternating between blue and purple. And then there's the arch set up on the stage, a white wooden arch that is adorned with the purple and blue flowers as well. Despite the fact that it's winter time, there's a very springy vibe to the whole thing.

However, as beautiful as the decorations are, they pale in comparison to my wife, who is making her entrance to the song “Married Life,” from Up. I can't help but smile, as I didn't pick the song, but I know that Up is one of our favorite movies. Jay leans over to me and whispers, ”She insisted that she came out to this song. She even downloaded to her phone just for this!”

”She probably already had it on her phone to begin with,” I whisper back, chuckling.

Still, Ellie looks even more beautiful than she did on our wedding day. Sure, the dress is same, but the way she's carrying herself, the sense of confidence, the air of maturity that this past year has brought the both of us, well, it makes a difference. But back to the dress, it's an elegant white number made with silk accents and a hint of silver thread that shimmers in the light. In the middle of her chest rests a radiant diamond, sparkling bright. She has a purple sash tied into a bow on back around her waist, and her hair is done up into a ponytail. I'm still breathless as I walk down the steps to meet her, and then walk back up to the center of the stage with her. We hold each others hands, and look into each others eyes as Jay begins to speak.

”Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the Renewal Vows of Gary and Ellie Biggerstaff, or as most us have come to call it, the real wedding! When they got married a year ago today, it was a Vegas Wedding, which we all know doesn't count!”

This joke draws laughter from the crowd, and Jay continues on with his spiel about the sanctity of marriage, and without going too much into specifics, discusses how we've faced a lot of challenges as a couple in our first year of marriage, but that it's a testament to our relationship that we persevered and that all of us are here today to celebrate. Before long, it comes time for us to exchange our vows.

”Gary, I know that you have written your own vows for today, and even though you didn't give Ellie that same courtesy, would you care to share them now?” Jay asks, drawing more laughs with his joke.

”I'd love to,” I reply without even taking my eyes off of my wife for one second. ”Ellie, sweetie, I just wanted to tell you today on our One Year Anniversary how much I love you. You're my soul mate, there's really no other way to describe it. Sure, we've had our ups and downs, we've had our challenges, but through it all, I know what's carried us through is our love for one another.”

“I think back to the night we met at that sports bar, about how I insisted on walking you home when I found out you didn't have a car. In hindsight I realize how creepy that may have made me seem, but I know that you knew I was only being a gentleman.”

Ellie is all smiles as I continue my vows.

“I remember our first date, with the lobster, and how quick you were to declare us boyfriend and girlfriend. Things may have been moving too fast for me at the time, but looking back, I realized that it was because you're a woman who knows what she wants in life, and isn't afraid to tell you what she's thinking.”

“I'll never forget the Valentines Day where I proposed to you, or rather, you proposed to me,” I say with a slight laugh in my voice. ”Never in a million years did I expect you to do that, with my admittedly conservative and reserved nature. The fact is, Ellie, you compliment me so well! You have a spontaneity and sense of wonder about the world that helps me to be a different man. You have a way of making me look at things differently than my normal, rigid way. You make me a better person, bottom line.”

“Ellie, you've helped me to grow and change so much over this last year. I realize that early in our marriage, I had a habit of withholding information from you, I had a tendency to project my attitudes and beliefs onto you, and not even consider where you were coming from. I also wrongfully held an attitude of moral superiority that didn't help our marriage one bit. For these shortcomings, I'm sorry. I promise you here today that I will do everything I can to make sure they don't happen again.”

“But Ellie, today isn't about me apologizing for the things I've done, today isn't for focusing on the ways I've hurt you in the past, today is about celebrating the fact that we are very much in love, and that we will grow old together. I can't think of anyone else in this world that I would rather do that with than you. I love you so much, and promise to love, honor, and cherish you the rest of the days of my life. You have my solemn promise that I will remain faithful to you, and that I will love you for better or worse, in sickness or in health, til death do us part.”

There isn't a dry eye in the building as I finish my vows, and Ellie's crying most of all. She lets go of my hand and gives me a slight slug in the shoulder as she begins her vows.

”There's no way I'm going to be able to top that, especially considering you had time to prepare yours, and I didn't!” she says lovingly, with no malice or anger in her voice. ”Gary, since the day we first met, I knew that there was something special about you. From how embarrassed you were about the dirty joke to the fact that you would not let me walk home by myself late at night, I just knew you were different from any other guy I had ever met. You've always had a natural sweetness and innocence to you that I just never got from anybody else, and I know that it's largely my fault that your innocence was lost.”

”No, it wasn't, baby. You don't need to take responsibility for that...”

”Please don't interrupt me, these are my vows. Gary, the moment I knew you were the one for me was when I made the biggest mistake of my life, and cheated on you. Because in the past, whenever I had broken off an old relationship, it didn't bother me. But you, Gary, when I left you, it left a hole inside of me. I just wasn't myself anymore. And while our separations was completely my fault, I knew that if I had been given the chance to be with you again, there was no doubt in my mind that I would take it. One year ago today, I remember you coming down to Stanford to my parents' place, not to try and 'hook back up' with me, but to come down just to talk, just because you heard from my folks that my therapist at the time said it might help me to get some closure. You came down just to help me. And that's indicative of the person who you really are. I know that in the wrestling ring, you paint yourself as a cruel, calculating jerk who only thinks about himself, but that's not who you really are.”

“No, you're my white knight, who's always came in to rescue me. Despite my shortcomings, despite my flaws, you have stood by me, and have loved me, and for that, I can't thank you enough.”

“I know that one year ago, we told each other that we'd stick together for better or worse, and that this past year has had a whole lot of worse, from our arguments, to my mental breakdown, to your cancer scare, we've already been through so much together. But seeing how we've been through all this and that we're still standing side by side, I can't wait to see better! I can't wait to one day have children with you. I can't wait to see where this adventure called life takes us. All that I know is that I will love you every step of the way.”

“There's only one way I see our relationship ending up, and that is Happily Ever After.”

Happily Ever After. I like the sound of that.

At this point, Ellie lunges at me for a passionate kiss, and it takes me a moment to react, but once I realize what just happened, I return the favor. The crowd is going wild as Jay says, ”You can kiss the bride, I guess!” He's obviously having as much fun with this as anyone else, and we must be locking lips for the better part of a minute before Jay pipes in, ”Okay lovebirds! Remember that this is a church!”

I gasp for air when we finally disengage, and everyone in the crowd is standing up and clapping as Ellie and I raise eachothers arms. “Spaceman” begins to play again as we head up the aisle and on our way to the reception!

***

Depeche Mode's “Spacewalker” plays as the words FIRST CONTACT flash across the starry background in big, blue letters. The video switches to Biggs' wife Ellie, who's standing in a gym with a wrestling ring behind her. The ring is surrounded by a bunch of indy wrestlers and wrestling school students, and in the ring, Biggs is in a pair of workout shorts, holding his opponent down to the mat with a Side Headlock.

”Welcome, ladies and germs, to Biggs' First Contact. I am of course, not Biggs, but rather his wife, Ellie, and we're here at Dale Davis' Wrestling School, located in Tacoma, Washington. My hubby's been in that ring for the better part of two hours, taking on all comers, hasn't he, Dale?!” Ellie says in an enthusiastic manner as she turns towards Dale Davis.

Dale is a slightly older man with greying brown hair and an '80s style mullet. He has a thick mustache, and a bit of paunch around his waistline. When he speaks, he has a slight drawl that hard to pinpoint where it's from, considering he's lived in the Pacific Northwest his whole life. ”Yep, that's about the size of it. Whenever Biggs gets a pinfall or submission on his opponent, they leave the ring, and another guy enters. It helps both Biggs and the young guys, because it'll boost Biggs' stamina to go like this, and the kids get the chance to wrestle against somebody as accomplished as Biggs, which they can learn from. If a kid manages to get a pinfall or submission on Biggs, then Biggs takes a break until the next person gets eliminated. Biggs let Danny Darling get a pin on him to get himself a five minute breather, but otherwise, he's been in that ring the whole time!”

”Well, it's certainly been exciting to watch my hubby go! How much longer does he have?”

”About thirty seconds.”

In the ring, Biggs pulls his open up by the head, and then runs up the ropes to pull off the Bigg Time! He's then up to the top rope in a flash and leaps off for the UFO Frog Splash! He nails it, and pins the kid, 1...2...3, right as the time expires.

”Alright! Time's up! Great job today, everybody! If anybody wants to hang around work out, you're more than welcome to, but that's all the time our guest has for today in the ring,” Dale yells out to the students. The young guys all take turns thanking Biggs, and for his part, the APW Mega Star is polite and respectful, thanking them as well. He grabs a towel and wipes off his face as Ellie runs up with the camera in tow.

”You were awesome in there, baby! There's no way that C.J. Gates is going to be able to get as well conditioned as you are for the match this Sunday!”

”Is the camera on?”

”Yes...”

Biggs slings the towel over his shoulder and looks into the camera, flashing his trademark smirk.

”Welcome folks, to the absolute greatest wrestling web show on the entire...”

Ellie grabs a hold of Biggs' shoulder, shaking him a bit to get his attention.

”I already did the intro,” she says, sounding sheepish. She lets out a weak giggle, which has the intended effect of diffusing any animosity Biggs may have about not getting to do his intro.

”Well, folks, that was slightly awkward, but still, as you all know, I am Biggs, the host of this fine program, and the #1 Contender for the APW Undisputed Championship this Sunday at APW's Christmas Chaos, which will be live from here in Tacoma! I will be facing off against C.J. Gates in the Main Event in a 60-Minute Iron Man Match with the title on the line!”

“And when we lock up this Sunday, C.J., I fully intend to show you just how stupid you were to pick the Iron Man stipulation for our match. Because by picking the 60-Minute Iron Man Match, C.J., you have ensured your defeat at my hands. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Ceej, you are not built to wrestle for 60 minutes. Your style does not lend itself to these kind of matches. Because C.J., as great as you are with the quick-paced, high flying style, even you have to admit that there are limits to how long one can sustain the kind of pace you need in order to be successful in the ring. C.J., you have just one setting, and it's full tilt, and you know just as well as I do that there's no way that you can go full tilt for the entire hour! You'll get tired. You'll get worn out. And when that happens, you'll get sloppy! And when you get sloppy, I will capitalize on it, gaining decision after decision, en route to my eventual victory. Don't get me wrong, C.J., I'm not saying that you're not a well conditioned athlete. I know that you could easily go for upwards of thirty-five, forty minutes, and still have some left in the tank, but I highly doubt you can go high octane for the full hour. You will burn out!”

“And furthermore, I'm not saying that I can go at the breakneck pace for a full hour either. I know that that is an asinine concept to even consider. But the difference between you and me, C.J., is that I don't need the match to be going a hundred mile per hour in order to be successful. It's well documented how I normally start out a match quick paced, but then slow it down to a crawl in the middle, maintaining control of my opponents by grounding them and applying a plethora of submission holds. Not only do these holds hurt my opponent, but they give me time to catch my breath and recuperate, while also formulate the next part of my game plan for the match at hand. Simply put, my in-ring style is much more acclimated to this kind of a match than yours.”

“Because, C.J., let's face it, this match is a marathon, not a sprint. Whoever can strike the right balance between aggression and pacing themselves will surely get the upper hand in this match, and the victory. That's why I've been in this ring the past two hours, fighting any and all comers. I know that these kids aren't anywhere near as skilled as you are, but that's not the point of this kind of training. What I did today, C.J. was to build endurance. It was to ensure that come the 45 minute, 50 minute mark of the match that I'm not blown up or gassed in that ring. I worked out this way today to build up discipline and gauge about which pace works best for me. That's why I did two hours, so I could try two different strategies. And C.J., I know you to well enough to know that you will not be able to pace yourself properly. Not just because your style is devoid of submission holds or locks that can slow down the pace of the match, but also because you're too gosh darn concerned with putting a good show for the fans, entertaining them, that you probably wouldn't be willing to ride a headlock for more than a few seconds. But the thing is, C.J., worrying about whether the fans are entertained or not won't help you in this match. I'm more than happy to lock on an armbar or body scissors, and hold it for as long as I can. If I can ride the camel clutch for five minutes, I'll do it! Because, C.J., the APW Undisputed Championship isn't awarded to the most entertaining guy on the roster, it's awarded to the best wrestler. And sometimes, being the best means that one has to utilize an unpopular strategy to come out on top. Because I don't give a crap what the fans think about me, I'm in a much better position in terms of making my game plan, because I won't have to ask myself, 'Will this make the fans happy? Will this make them pop?' I'm willing to grind out the tough, hard earned victory, that while not pretty or particularly exciting, is as technically sound as can be, and more importantly, is effective.”

“C.J., the reason I have been as successful as I've been over the years is that I know my limits, and I work around them. I know that in terms of flat out strength, I'm lacking, so I don't go around challenging people to a Body Slam Challenge. While I can take a hit just as well as the next guy, I have no desire to participate in the garbage Extreme Wrestling, so I don't fight for the Xtreme Title. But you, C.J., you've let your recent successes get to your head. You think you're invincible, so you pick the one match, okay maybe one of the two matches that I have an objective advantage in, the other obviously being my specialty, the Steel Cage Match. But by picking the Iron Man Match, you've shown your arrogance, you've shown your hubris. And that will make it all the more satisfying when I take the APW Undisputed Championship from you in the very match you picked!”

Biggs chuckles a bit, and wipes his face again with the towel before he continues to speak.

”The bottom line, Ceej, is that after this match, we will know beyond a shadow of doubt who the better wrestler truly is. Because in this match, there are no excuses! You won't be getting any help from Kurt Noble, like you did at Shockwave. You won't be able to utilize the handcuffs, because then otherwise, I'd get an automatic rope break! No, C.J. Gates, this Sunday, at Christmas Chaos, it will simply be your skill versus my skill, your will versus mine. I'm not going to be so cliché as to say that whoever wants it more will win this match, but I will say that I am better equipped for this match. My skill set, and more importantly, my mindset are better suited for this contest.”

Ellie interrupts, ”My man is a genius in that ring, C.J.! You may have gotten the better of him two times before, but you will not do it a third time! My husband learns from every time he enters that ring, and while you undoubtedly do as well, he's the best at applying his previous experiences to his current actions. Just look at how he routinely dominates Pence Weatherlight now!”

”Ellie, that's actually not helping your case. Everyone dominates Pence Weatherlight now, at least anyone of note!”

”Okay, so maybe that was a bad example, but my point is, C.J., my husband will not make the same mistakes he made in the first two matches. He will be even more ruthless and calculating, he will be more dangerous! Because C.J. Gates, you have made my husband hate you! And I don't mean in a 'hey, we're adversaries, so we dislike each other!' I mean literally hate you!”

”Hate may be a little strong of a word, babe. But she is right, C.J., I don't like you. This feud between us has become incredibly personal. I upstage you, you upstage me, back and forth, back and forth! We've been going at it since July, and while many folks would say that you've gotten the better of me when it counts, the fact is that this Iron Man Match will be the decisive meeting between the two of us. I realize that in the unlikely case that I'm unsuccessful in my bid to claim the APW Undisputed Championship, I likely won't get another shot for long while. And considering how long I had to wait to get my first crack at that title, well, let's just say I don't feel like waiting that long again!”

”Especially if it's on account of C.J.!”

”Right, baby, especially on the account that it's C.J.! Because, C.J., I have too much personal pride to be able to accept that anyone is a better wrestler than me, let alone you! As things have become more and more personal, and more and more bitter between us, I've come to realize that we're not really all that different of people. Both of us are quite wealthy, and both of us are well regarded in this business. The wealth factor shows that both of us know how to be self-controlled, and also shows that we know how to earn what we have.”

“And I would go as far as to say that you haven't truly earned that Undisputed Championship, C.J., that one could dispute the fact that you are the top guy in APW! I've already gone on and on about how both times you beat me with the title on the line were suspect, so rather than rehash those arguments, I'm just going to say that this match does not afford you the same opportunities. I know that you think Jeff's decree about nobody interfering will help you more than it helps me, but let's look at the straight facts, here, C.J., who in APW, other than my lovely wife, would come to my aide? I make no bones about the fact that I'm not in this business to make friends, but you, C.J., you're all about pleasing others. I mean at the very least, I'm sure Kurt Noble would love to help you win one more time! The fact is, C.J. the whole no interference pact means nothing to me, and won't benefit you in the slightest.”

“As for the no weapons things, well, that's just par for the course for any normal match. You forget, C.J., I don't cheat because I have to, I don't utilize foreign objects because I need them to win. No, C.J., I break the rules because I want to! It's almost like a game for me, really, seeing how I can be more clever and devious than the last time, seeing how well I can pull one over on the inept refs. The fact is, C.J., that the whole disqualification thing is something I routinely deal with anyways, so it's not like emphasizing that aspect of the match is going to make much of a difference. If anything, it'll make me want to cheat more, just so I can get away with it, like I always do!”

Biggs flashes his trademark smirk once more, while Ellie lets out her infectious giggle.

”I make no qualms about the fact that this will likely be our final confrontation with the APW Undisputed Championship on the line, C.J. Gates, and trust me C.J., when I say that I will do absolutely whatever I have to to ensure that I leave Tacoma with the title around my waist! This match will push the both of us to our absolute limits, physically and mentally. But in the end, only one of us will be standing tall in that ring, only one of us will have our arm raised in victory, and that man will be me! Why? Because I am quite simply OUT OF THIS WORLD!”

Biggs and Ellie look confident at the screen fades to black. Before the APW logo and copyright appear, though, and obnoxious sound voice yells out “BONUS!” and an audio recording of the following plays over the black background.

Twas the Night before Christmas Poem
Twas the night of Christmas Chaos, and standing in the ring
Was C.J. Gates, nervous of what tonight would bring.
The title belt was clasped around his waist with care,
For C.J. Gates knew it would soon not be there.

The fans were nestled, all snug in their chairs,
For many of them were so fat, they barely fit their derrieres,
With the ref in his zebra shirt, and in his black slacks,
Had just settled his mind for a long winter's match.

When up on the stage there arose such a clatter,
The fans sprang to their feet to see what was the matter.
Up in the air their signs flew like a flash,
While numerous boos from their throats did pass.

The lights and impressive laser light show
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
The man who would soon be basked in championship cheer.

With a smart alec smirk, so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment it must be St Biggs.
More rapid than eagles his moves they came,
While the announcers noticed and called them by name!

"Now Frog Splash! now, Bigg Time! now, Sharp Shooter and Calf Kickin'!
On, Neckbreaker! On, Kneelift! on, on Camel Clutch and Forearm Smashin'!
To the top of the turnbuckle! to the top of it all!
Now fly away! Fly away! Crash Down to Earth all!"

He sprang to his pin, to the ref gave a whistle,
And quickly the ref counted, like the down of a thistle.
And the fans heard Biggs exclaim, ‘ere he held the title high,
"Happy Christmas to all, for this title is now mine!"

Following this, the logo and copyright appear, and First Contact comes to a close.