Post by Level-Two on May 24, 2008 14:59:52 GMT -4
(The scene opens up to a jammed packed crowd in Phillips arena. The crowd jumps to their feet in a roaring swing of cheers as the Overdrive Champion Justin Job ducks out of the way from a CHRIST-like pele kick…Wait? Who the fuck decides to open up a promo with a fucking match? I mean, that’s so 1990 and Un-Original! Wait, JESUS himself Michael Lively did it? Okay, its fine then!)
NEXT!
(The scene re-opens to the dream of Michael Lively! It shows him winning a match…and…well, what the fuck were you expecting? Actually winning a match is Michael Lively’s long lost dream! He’s been waiting for this moment, for as long as he’s sucked on his mother’s tits…He’s been waiting, all his life! Alright…)
NEXT!
(The scene fades, and than fades back into Justin Job seated in a small chair. In his hands is a small hard-cover book (Lively calls it intense reading) in his hands. On the cover are wooden blocks, with letters on them, spelling Lively Sucks. Justin Job, opens up the book, before smiling softly at the camera)
Justin Job: Justin Job Vs. Michael Lively, is scheduled for Mayhem! I’m sure most of you people watching home is quite excited. I mean, you all have the opportunity to watch ‘’Jesus’’ himself get dick-slapped with a whole knew religion in itself. I call this religion, ‘’Suck-ism”’
Suck-ism. Lively has clearly been believing it, living it, and practicing it, in nearly every aspect of his live. I mean think about it…
He believes he’s talented
His career proves he’s not
And after a week-end with his uncle Kenny Douchebardo, it’s clear to see you’ve been practicing how to suck, on regular bases. As a matter of fact; Rumor has it that Diana Steel is jealous, and that he’s giving her quite the run for her money—you know how those prostitution rings work right, Lively?
But you see, I’m not any religious hating freak! No, I love Catholics, I love Muslims, and I love the Jews! Yes, Lombardo—somewhere in Justin Job’s heart, he loves you…
You see Lively, I love all religions. Not to mention, me and you? We go way back! I mean, before the high school years, where you were dumped head first into the cafeteria trash-cans. We go back further than that. We go back to middle school when you asked your own sister to take you to the school dance? She said no of course; along with virtually every other girl in the school. Lively, we go back to our pre-school days!
I can remember the time, where you reached into your poo-poo pants, and ripped out a pile of shit. Remember that lively? Maybe your memory is a little shaky, but it smelt and looked like shit. Just like your career? Don’t be silly, Lively…of course!
So now today, I want to share some of our fondest memories together. Today, I’m going to read you a story...because you probably can’t yourself…but its okay. Justin Job is here, and he’s here to fight your fears! Illiteracy can read my lips…
It will be destroyed.
FUN-FACT: Lively calls his finishing maneuver the Prelude…Seen it often? We thought we’d just throw this in here, because from what we know, a finishing move actually results in winning a match.
(The scene opens up to a pre-school far, far away. In that pre-school far, far, away. Kids played, learned, and had fun. A few kids crawling around in their diapers are seen talking amongst themselves in the play pen)
Hurricane Baby: Hey, guys! Look, the hurricane is here! I’ve pooled together some money, and I was thinking of starting my own wrestling promotion! We can have title belts, weekly shows, and it’ll be really fun, what do you guys think?
John Baby: Well, I don’t know Hurricane. EWC made me cry, I don’t know if I could stink it up in yet another promotion…
Lombardo Baby: I’ll only join, under one condition, Jeff! And that is, you push me to the sky! I want title shots, protection, and more title shots!
Hurricane Baby: Look, guys! This is what we’ll do. We’ll start of by giving John Green the title, so he stops his moaning, and groaning, and actually looks important. Than, I’ll have you Kenny, as a contender! You two can battle it out, to see the winner!
John Baby: What if I stink up the show, Jeffy?
Hurricane Baby: I’ll just have to step in, no more questions!
Lombardo Baby: I’m going to be the next champion, woo-hoo! I’ve never been a champion before! Well I did beat Justin Job in a race to see who can crawl to the other-side of the play pen faster. Look at me! The show, everything, it’s all about me! Not about you Jeff, about me. Me, me, me!
(On the other-side of the play pen, comes crawling Michael Lively, in at full speed!)
Lively Baby: Guys, you won’t believe what I just heard—while drinking my milk! I almost dribbled it all down my lips, and snorted it up my nose, it was just that good!
Sabur Baby: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Fyre Baby: lulz! Well wat wuz is itz!!one!!?
Jake Baby: Impressive listening skills, Lively. Unfortunately, I don’t have time for your mess. I’ve got a big 10 word promo, I have to write up on the computer. Hmm…how am I going to get onto a computer, I just don’t know. Maybe, I’ll ride Sabur to the library, the big kids always have the cool toys!
Sabur Baby: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Jake Baby mounts on top of Sabur Cow Baby, as they ride off to the other side of the pen yard)
Lively Baby: Anyways, guys! I just heard Hurricane Baby Jeff talk about how he’s going to create his own wrestling promotion! Can you believe that guys, a real wrestling promotion—I’m in!
(Little lively, cracks his retarded Jesus pose, before being interrupted by another baby on the block…or pen yard, we’ll say. Justin Job Baby, wears a cool blue cap, and a long silver chain around his neck. Lively’s mother bought it for him. Lively’s mom loves—Justin Job Baby!)
Justin Job Baby: Did you say wrestling promotion?
Lively Baby: Yeah, I said wrestling promotion…and what about it?
(Lively baby looks away, and down at the ground nervously, as Justin Job baby giggles to him-self)
Justin Job Baby: Wrestling? You wrestle!? You’ve got to be kidding me! You get beat up by Big Baby Vinnie every-day! As a matter of fact, he beat you up, and stole your milk money last week!
(We switch over across the play pen for a minute, to see Big Baby Vinnie kick the shit out of little Jake Ruby Baby. Big Baby Vinnie as mounted position on top of Jake Ruby Baby, hitting him with *hard* punches to the face)
Big Baby Vinnie: Ha-ha, nerd! Role playing? That must be for losers! Shut up, and just give me your lunch money...
Jake Baby: No, no, no. According to my extra sensitive ear drums, hurricane baby Jeff will be starting a wrestling promotion. All I need to do, is sneak us into the library, riding Sabur cow baby, and we’ll be apart of it just like that. We just have to register first. I have connections, internet connections. It’s the power of the world!
Big Baby Vinnie: Internet? I’ve been running up on some dial up shit for years. My Dora Adventure addition CD-ROM just doesn’t work like it used to you know? Wait! Why am I being nice to you? That’s not cool. I don’t need your stupid connections…I got Kenny, Kenny will hook me up, or I’ll kick his ass too!
(Big Baby Vinnie, continues to beat Jake Baby to a pulp, as we switch back to Justin Job and Michael Lively, is a stand off in the play ground)
Lively Baby: Well do you know what? Justin…you’re a poo-poo head!
(Diana Steel & Tara Jacobs, hang out near by both shudder with ‘’oooohs’’ as they try to cheer on the fight)
Lively Baby: How about, I bet you 5…no wait…10 milk bottles that I will be drafted to Jeff’s show before you!
Justin Job Baby: Pffft…you silly little kid. I don’t want your milk bottles—I’m pretty sure, it’s from Kenny’s, womanly boobies anyways! You can suck up to them all you want, but they recognize real talent when they see some.
Lively Baby: I am Jesus damn it! Show me some respect! My tears? They are gold! My piss? It is silver! My talent…MY TALENT IS BRONZE!
(Lively baby, stops, and scratches his head, as the other babies in the play ground giggle at his fuck up. Lively closes his eyes, and strikes Jesus pose, trying to shove all his worries away)
Justin Job Baby: Let’s just get this over with. Hurricane has called has called us to the yard, where the draft will take place. Be there!
(Justin Job shoves Lively baby in his face, as he comes toppling down on his ass. Tears appear from the corner of his eyes, before bursting into a loud cry. Diana Steel & Tara Jacobs, point and laugh at him, as the scene momentarily comes to a close)
Would you draft Jesus, last?
(The scene opens up to Hurricane baby Jeff, and Kenny Lambardo baby, in a two man homo-erotic type huddle. They love each-other. But not only that, they have some serious business to handle)
Hurricane Baby Jeff: I don’t know Kenny—should we really draft him? I mean, he often throws tamper tantrums, and will probably want lot’s and lot’s of title shots, like you and John Green. Do you really want to risk that?
Lambardo Baby: You know, Jeffy. You do have a good point. I think I’m the only one who deserves a big push. I mean, I should like be BOTH the CHAMPION and the CONTENDER. You know why? Because I’ll never lose! I will just walk around and say I am the champ, and nobody could stop me! That’s what real talent does, really, I’ve seen it on T.V!
Hurricane Baby Jeff: Well, what should we do with him?
Lambardo Baby: How about this. Because I AM so damn great, I will take him under my wing. I’ll let him carry my shitty diapers, I’ll let him wipe my poopy ass, and he can carry my title when I’m tired…Yeah, that’s sounds great actually. Sign him. But enough about him—and more about me! I’m great, aren’t I Jeffy!?
(Hurricane Jeff Baby rolls his eyes, and breaks the love huddle. Hurricane Jeff stomps across the pen yard, as all the other babies watch on. In-front of him stands one baby. One baby, nobody wants...His mother doesn’t love him, his father wished for an abortion, but this baby—is given a second chance. A second chance at…
STARDOM!)
Hurricane Baby Jeff: Congratulations, Lively. You’re the last member to be signed to our new show!
(Lively, curls his lips, and he jumps in confusion)
Lively Baby: Why would you go through this whole draft, if you were just going to pick every baby in the play pen?
Hurricane Baby Jeff: Well, to be honest we were going to pick everyone expect one. That would have been you but…
Lively Baby: But what!?
Hurricane Baby Jeff: …Jason Royce no showed.
(Lively pouts, and bursts into a loud cry, before Justin Job appears from the side, wrapping his arm around his bests friend!)
Justin Job Baby: Don’t worry, Lively. Carrying Kenny Lambardos shitty diapers, is bound to get you a big title shot one day…I promise.
(Justin Job Baby, laughs before walking away. All the kids have soon gone home, but Lively, who stands in the pen-yard, crying his eyes out)
Lively Baby: Mommy? You didn’t forget to pick me up again, did you? Mommy!!!!
(Lively Baby continues to cry, as the scene comes to a close)
Oh, it’s the fine trash-talk! And it actually makes sense…Lively, take note, quick!
(The scene re-opens, as Justin Job slips a book-mark inside the book, and closes it. He folds it in his laps, and smiles once again—warmly at the camera)
Justin Job: I hope you all enjoyed that little story—there’s more of that to come, but I believe its Lively’s bed-time, in just a couple of minutes. So I wanted to say my little piece, before Lively went off to dream about, lemon drops, rain bows, and sugar plums. He always was a fruity little…
(Justin Job stops himself, before smiling warmly at the camera once more)
Michael Lively—you Sir, are a complete joke. All that shit, you’ve been talking, is just that shit. You spew it everywhere, and the passerby’s either step in it and soak it up, or side step that bullshit for what it is—bullshit. I’m no idiot, my fans are not idiots, you sir are an idiot. You sir, are NECK deep in your own BULLSHIT and your drowning in your own hype, that simply isn’t there. I find it quite amusing, to be honest.
You claim I don’t show what it takes to be a ‘’True Champion’’ as if your qualified to make such statements. The last time I checked, you weren’t a champion. The last time I checked, you haven’t been a champion. Last time I checked, you were still swimming in obscurity, trying to stay afloat, by popping your head out of Kenny Lambardos toilet, right after he ate something spicy, and had to take a huge massive shit. You irrelevant piece of crap, how about I just flush you, boy?
You claiming, I’m not a true champion, is kind of…idiotic don’t you think? What you think you’re the shit now, because Kenny Lambardo patted your big ass head, and told you ‘’good job?’’ You think you can roll with the big dogs, because you’ve been yanking, on Lombardo’s collar? You think you know what it takes to be a good champion, because you’ve been carrying around the World Champions, title belt? Fuck off boy, your nothing but a man in a damn shadow.
I don’t need to tell you about THE JOB…You, your mom, and your dad?
NEXT!
(The scene re-opens to the dream of Michael Lively! It shows him winning a match…and…well, what the fuck were you expecting? Actually winning a match is Michael Lively’s long lost dream! He’s been waiting for this moment, for as long as he’s sucked on his mother’s tits…He’s been waiting, all his life! Alright…)
NEXT!
(The scene fades, and than fades back into Justin Job seated in a small chair. In his hands is a small hard-cover book (Lively calls it intense reading) in his hands. On the cover are wooden blocks, with letters on them, spelling Lively Sucks. Justin Job, opens up the book, before smiling softly at the camera)
Justin Job: Justin Job Vs. Michael Lively, is scheduled for Mayhem! I’m sure most of you people watching home is quite excited. I mean, you all have the opportunity to watch ‘’Jesus’’ himself get dick-slapped with a whole knew religion in itself. I call this religion, ‘’Suck-ism”’
Suck-ism. Lively has clearly been believing it, living it, and practicing it, in nearly every aspect of his live. I mean think about it…
He believes he’s talented
His career proves he’s not
And after a week-end with his uncle Kenny Douchebardo, it’s clear to see you’ve been practicing how to suck, on regular bases. As a matter of fact; Rumor has it that Diana Steel is jealous, and that he’s giving her quite the run for her money—you know how those prostitution rings work right, Lively?
But you see, I’m not any religious hating freak! No, I love Catholics, I love Muslims, and I love the Jews! Yes, Lombardo—somewhere in Justin Job’s heart, he loves you…
You see Lively, I love all religions. Not to mention, me and you? We go way back! I mean, before the high school years, where you were dumped head first into the cafeteria trash-cans. We go back further than that. We go back to middle school when you asked your own sister to take you to the school dance? She said no of course; along with virtually every other girl in the school. Lively, we go back to our pre-school days!
I can remember the time, where you reached into your poo-poo pants, and ripped out a pile of shit. Remember that lively? Maybe your memory is a little shaky, but it smelt and looked like shit. Just like your career? Don’t be silly, Lively…of course!
So now today, I want to share some of our fondest memories together. Today, I’m going to read you a story...because you probably can’t yourself…but its okay. Justin Job is here, and he’s here to fight your fears! Illiteracy can read my lips…
It will be destroyed.
FUN-FACT: Lively calls his finishing maneuver the Prelude…Seen it often? We thought we’d just throw this in here, because from what we know, a finishing move actually results in winning a match.
(The scene opens up to a pre-school far, far away. In that pre-school far, far, away. Kids played, learned, and had fun. A few kids crawling around in their diapers are seen talking amongst themselves in the play pen)
Hurricane Baby: Hey, guys! Look, the hurricane is here! I’ve pooled together some money, and I was thinking of starting my own wrestling promotion! We can have title belts, weekly shows, and it’ll be really fun, what do you guys think?
John Baby: Well, I don’t know Hurricane. EWC made me cry, I don’t know if I could stink it up in yet another promotion…
Lombardo Baby: I’ll only join, under one condition, Jeff! And that is, you push me to the sky! I want title shots, protection, and more title shots!
Hurricane Baby: Look, guys! This is what we’ll do. We’ll start of by giving John Green the title, so he stops his moaning, and groaning, and actually looks important. Than, I’ll have you Kenny, as a contender! You two can battle it out, to see the winner!
John Baby: What if I stink up the show, Jeffy?
Hurricane Baby: I’ll just have to step in, no more questions!
Lombardo Baby: I’m going to be the next champion, woo-hoo! I’ve never been a champion before! Well I did beat Justin Job in a race to see who can crawl to the other-side of the play pen faster. Look at me! The show, everything, it’s all about me! Not about you Jeff, about me. Me, me, me!
(On the other-side of the play pen, comes crawling Michael Lively, in at full speed!)
Lively Baby: Guys, you won’t believe what I just heard—while drinking my milk! I almost dribbled it all down my lips, and snorted it up my nose, it was just that good!
Sabur Baby: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Fyre Baby: lulz! Well wat wuz is itz!!one!!?
Jake Baby: Impressive listening skills, Lively. Unfortunately, I don’t have time for your mess. I’ve got a big 10 word promo, I have to write up on the computer. Hmm…how am I going to get onto a computer, I just don’t know. Maybe, I’ll ride Sabur to the library, the big kids always have the cool toys!
Sabur Baby: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Jake Baby mounts on top of Sabur Cow Baby, as they ride off to the other side of the pen yard)
Lively Baby: Anyways, guys! I just heard Hurricane Baby Jeff talk about how he’s going to create his own wrestling promotion! Can you believe that guys, a real wrestling promotion—I’m in!
(Little lively, cracks his retarded Jesus pose, before being interrupted by another baby on the block…or pen yard, we’ll say. Justin Job Baby, wears a cool blue cap, and a long silver chain around his neck. Lively’s mother bought it for him. Lively’s mom loves—Justin Job Baby!)
Justin Job Baby: Did you say wrestling promotion?
Lively Baby: Yeah, I said wrestling promotion…and what about it?
(Lively baby looks away, and down at the ground nervously, as Justin Job baby giggles to him-self)
Justin Job Baby: Wrestling? You wrestle!? You’ve got to be kidding me! You get beat up by Big Baby Vinnie every-day! As a matter of fact, he beat you up, and stole your milk money last week!
(We switch over across the play pen for a minute, to see Big Baby Vinnie kick the shit out of little Jake Ruby Baby. Big Baby Vinnie as mounted position on top of Jake Ruby Baby, hitting him with *hard* punches to the face)
Big Baby Vinnie: Ha-ha, nerd! Role playing? That must be for losers! Shut up, and just give me your lunch money...
Jake Baby: No, no, no. According to my extra sensitive ear drums, hurricane baby Jeff will be starting a wrestling promotion. All I need to do, is sneak us into the library, riding Sabur cow baby, and we’ll be apart of it just like that. We just have to register first. I have connections, internet connections. It’s the power of the world!
Big Baby Vinnie: Internet? I’ve been running up on some dial up shit for years. My Dora Adventure addition CD-ROM just doesn’t work like it used to you know? Wait! Why am I being nice to you? That’s not cool. I don’t need your stupid connections…I got Kenny, Kenny will hook me up, or I’ll kick his ass too!
(Big Baby Vinnie, continues to beat Jake Baby to a pulp, as we switch back to Justin Job and Michael Lively, is a stand off in the play ground)
Lively Baby: Well do you know what? Justin…you’re a poo-poo head!
(Diana Steel & Tara Jacobs, hang out near by both shudder with ‘’oooohs’’ as they try to cheer on the fight)
Lively Baby: How about, I bet you 5…no wait…10 milk bottles that I will be drafted to Jeff’s show before you!
Justin Job Baby: Pffft…you silly little kid. I don’t want your milk bottles—I’m pretty sure, it’s from Kenny’s, womanly boobies anyways! You can suck up to them all you want, but they recognize real talent when they see some.
Lively Baby: I am Jesus damn it! Show me some respect! My tears? They are gold! My piss? It is silver! My talent…MY TALENT IS BRONZE!
(Lively baby, stops, and scratches his head, as the other babies in the play ground giggle at his fuck up. Lively closes his eyes, and strikes Jesus pose, trying to shove all his worries away)
Justin Job Baby: Let’s just get this over with. Hurricane has called has called us to the yard, where the draft will take place. Be there!
(Justin Job shoves Lively baby in his face, as he comes toppling down on his ass. Tears appear from the corner of his eyes, before bursting into a loud cry. Diana Steel & Tara Jacobs, point and laugh at him, as the scene momentarily comes to a close)
Would you draft Jesus, last?
(The scene opens up to Hurricane baby Jeff, and Kenny Lambardo baby, in a two man homo-erotic type huddle. They love each-other. But not only that, they have some serious business to handle)
Hurricane Baby Jeff: I don’t know Kenny—should we really draft him? I mean, he often throws tamper tantrums, and will probably want lot’s and lot’s of title shots, like you and John Green. Do you really want to risk that?
Lambardo Baby: You know, Jeffy. You do have a good point. I think I’m the only one who deserves a big push. I mean, I should like be BOTH the CHAMPION and the CONTENDER. You know why? Because I’ll never lose! I will just walk around and say I am the champ, and nobody could stop me! That’s what real talent does, really, I’ve seen it on T.V!
Hurricane Baby Jeff: Well, what should we do with him?
Lambardo Baby: How about this. Because I AM so damn great, I will take him under my wing. I’ll let him carry my shitty diapers, I’ll let him wipe my poopy ass, and he can carry my title when I’m tired…Yeah, that’s sounds great actually. Sign him. But enough about him—and more about me! I’m great, aren’t I Jeffy!?
(Hurricane Jeff Baby rolls his eyes, and breaks the love huddle. Hurricane Jeff stomps across the pen yard, as all the other babies watch on. In-front of him stands one baby. One baby, nobody wants...His mother doesn’t love him, his father wished for an abortion, but this baby—is given a second chance. A second chance at…
STARDOM!)
Hurricane Baby Jeff: Congratulations, Lively. You’re the last member to be signed to our new show!
(Lively, curls his lips, and he jumps in confusion)
Lively Baby: Why would you go through this whole draft, if you were just going to pick every baby in the play pen?
Hurricane Baby Jeff: Well, to be honest we were going to pick everyone expect one. That would have been you but…
Lively Baby: But what!?
Hurricane Baby Jeff: …Jason Royce no showed.
(Lively pouts, and bursts into a loud cry, before Justin Job appears from the side, wrapping his arm around his bests friend!)
Justin Job Baby: Don’t worry, Lively. Carrying Kenny Lambardos shitty diapers, is bound to get you a big title shot one day…I promise.
(Justin Job Baby, laughs before walking away. All the kids have soon gone home, but Lively, who stands in the pen-yard, crying his eyes out)
Lively Baby: Mommy? You didn’t forget to pick me up again, did you? Mommy!!!!
(Lively Baby continues to cry, as the scene comes to a close)
Oh, it’s the fine trash-talk! And it actually makes sense…Lively, take note, quick!
(The scene re-opens, as Justin Job slips a book-mark inside the book, and closes it. He folds it in his laps, and smiles once again—warmly at the camera)
Justin Job: I hope you all enjoyed that little story—there’s more of that to come, but I believe its Lively’s bed-time, in just a couple of minutes. So I wanted to say my little piece, before Lively went off to dream about, lemon drops, rain bows, and sugar plums. He always was a fruity little…
(Justin Job stops himself, before smiling warmly at the camera once more)
Michael Lively—you Sir, are a complete joke. All that shit, you’ve been talking, is just that shit. You spew it everywhere, and the passerby’s either step in it and soak it up, or side step that bullshit for what it is—bullshit. I’m no idiot, my fans are not idiots, you sir are an idiot. You sir, are NECK deep in your own BULLSHIT and your drowning in your own hype, that simply isn’t there. I find it quite amusing, to be honest.
You claim I don’t show what it takes to be a ‘’True Champion’’ as if your qualified to make such statements. The last time I checked, you weren’t a champion. The last time I checked, you haven’t been a champion. Last time I checked, you were still swimming in obscurity, trying to stay afloat, by popping your head out of Kenny Lambardos toilet, right after he ate something spicy, and had to take a huge massive shit. You irrelevant piece of crap, how about I just flush you, boy?
You claiming, I’m not a true champion, is kind of…idiotic don’t you think? What you think you’re the shit now, because Kenny Lambardo patted your big ass head, and told you ‘’good job?’’ You think you can roll with the big dogs, because you’ve been yanking, on Lombardo’s collar? You think you know what it takes to be a good champion, because you’ve been carrying around the World Champions, title belt? Fuck off boy, your nothing but a man in a damn shadow.
I don’t need to tell you about THE JOB…You, your mom, and your dad?
They already all blow.
