Take The Money

[Odin Balfore]

" Take The Money. "

RP1
APW
Asylum
Singles Match

Odin Balfore
vs.
Donovan Caine


__________________________________________



* The scene opens to a crisp January morning, mid day. The camera is following behind a large man in a suit who is walking around a cemetery as precession cars slowly move past in the distance. The man stops and turns around, reveling that its APW’s newest Asylum member, Odin Balfore. Odin’s dressed in a black suit with his long graying hair pulled back, its with a heavy sigh that he begins to speak. *

Odin: Donovan. Caine. Oh boy. To tell you the truth Donovan I know nothing about you, well nearly nothing- while you certainly know nothing about me. Ya know, when I came onto the scene the other day at Overdrive, I excepted something more from my first match, only to see.. That I.. have far less. I looked at the booking sheet for TV and I saw Odin Bale-four.. Spelt with a number in there instead of letters against Donovan Caine and to be honest, I’m not sure what is more insulting; the fact that my names spelt wrong or that I’m facing you.

* well, we know you can’t spell your name right anyways, I guess we know the answer. *

What struck me even odder though, is that we’re match four- just under two title matches. Do you know what that tells Donovan? It tells me that my limited involvement on Overdrive is enough to grant you the top under card match. You see, its by mere association with me that YOU get to compete on a level that you will never compete on again outside of our match.. And by the looks of you I can see why.

* Odin puts his hands up to try and calm down those viewing at home in a “ settling “ motion. *

Now, now.. Don’t go getting your gimmick in a bunch there. I know, I can already tell that your this serious, dark and very un-intimidating character that I should.. Well, I’ll go out on a limb and use the word “ fear?” So why don’t you do yourself a favor and just put the gimmick down before you hurt somebody, mainly yourself because I’ve been in this game for far too long, seen to much and let me tell ya- you aint the first “ Donovan Caine” to step in the ring with Odin Balfore. You won’t be the first, you certainly won’t be the last . So lets get a few things straight, shall we?

You Caine have the worst luck in the world because your debut match is against me. That right there should be the red flag that APW has just set you up to fail, like screen door in a submarine, fail. After Asylum they’ll have to change that saying to Donovan Cain verse Odin Balfore, fail. You drew the short straw and by the grace of the wrestling gods, my work is half done because you live your life in a shallow grave. How coincidental is that? Are you living your life in a shallow grave, just because you gave up? Or is it that you are so “ hardcore “ that you need to get down with the dirt and the worms and the roots? Maybe its because you’re just a lame, dissociated, empathetic fuck that you feel right at home because you’re so dark and deep that no one understands you?

Tell ya what, Caine. Drop the gimmick for a minute, put the trench coat and bat away.. Look here..

* Odin pulls out a money clip from his pocket and start flicking bills onto the ground. *


Go get yourself a room at the holiday inn, grab a shower, wash the funk of molded nut sack off your body. Get a good nights rest because trust me, you’ll need it. Wake up refreshed in the morning, eat yourself that continental breakfast because you’ll need the strength to literally dig your own grave so deep that you’ll hit China. When you decide to pull a promo on me- after that promo go get yourself a nice five dollar suit but this time make sure the whole store don’t have the flu like my cousin Vinny did when he was down south- get yourself some chicken and waffles and an English to Chinese pocket dictionary because by the time we’re done, maybe you can explain to them that its guys like you that are the reason Americans in dept so damn bad.

Why am I doing this? Because I want you to feel like you’ve accomplished something in your first match in APW. At least that way, one of us would have. Granted, you losing to Odin Balfore is accomplishment enough, I at least want to make sure you’re comfortable and presentable when you go to bed tonight, if only for yourself because do you see all the people behind me? Do you see them? They’re doing to see someone that they once loved and cared about. They’re going to honor them. At asylum, those fans aren’t showing up to see Donovan Caine; Donovan Caine the man who somehow managed to trespass into a bad hostel remake. Hell Caine, only a few fans showed up to see me because my signing to APW was so sudden that news hasn’t spread yet- but it will.

Fans will be back in their meaningless nine to five jobs, probably filling in the shallow graves that you make for yourself all around the world while they talk to their friends and do you know what they’ll say?

“ hey.. Did you see that new guy at Asylum last night?”

and I’m so well known Donovan that they’ll reply-

“ yea, Odin Balfore. He really kicked some ass. “

but whose ass did I kick? and the ditch digger will reply -

“ Some jobber. “

That’s all you are Caine, just some jobber. You’re just another guy that the Nordic Tank gets to smash in the face repeatedly if only for my own amusement. Caine, if you’re a glutton for punishment and decide to pull what I can only guess to be a psychological promo, please take the money at my feet because you havent seen ring psychology until you’ve been in the ring with me.

Do you know what happens?

No of coarse you don’t but you can still smell the urine stains in Havoc’s pants from the other day, can’t you? Don’t worry, you’ll see what happens when you step in the ring with the baddest motha fucka in wrestling. Period. How proud you’ll be that you’re the top of the under card, on right before the two main events and you know that the people are warmed up and this right here, right now is your moment in the sun! Here you are in one of the biggest and best companies in all of pro wrestling going up against one of the former greats in recent memory. How lucky can you be, how wrong am I- this is the greatest feeling in the world an you’re going to prove that Odin Balfore wrong!

WRONG!

That’s when the mind games start Donovan. Because, I may not have may fans yet in APW but the ones that I do have- my fellow BMF’ers. They know me very well and they’ll abandon quicker then your momma did. When I come out on that stage and the fans are screaming along with my theme an I’m just standing there looking at you, looking through your soul, getting the sense that you’re in way over your head- that right there is when you know that you’ve already lost to Odin Balfore. Then when I get in that ring and the bell dings an I’m throwing your gangly, sickly, frail body around, and your on the receiving end of the best big boot in the business you’ll have decided that this isn’t the profession for you. I hope that you took this money at my feet because if you played your cards right, they’ll be enough money for you to catch a grey hound bus back to what ever pathetic and shallow existence you had before you got the great idea to step into the ring and run of the risk of having to square off against Odin Balfore.

* Odin bends down and picks up the money and holds it out for the camera to see. *

If, for whatever reason you’ve decided foolishly not to stay down for a three count by this time.. Well.. It looks like someone’s going to Ragnarok. What’s Ragnarok; you ask? Ragnarok is when I grab you by your skinny little gullet lift you so high up into the air- you’ll have to pay me for carry on because you’ll have just shit yourself and once your sad, twisted, mangled shell of a life flashes before your eyes I snap your sad, twisted, mangled, shell of your back over my knee. That’s Ragnarok. That’s the final Battle, that’s the final move in our little dance here. that’s check mate Donovan Caine because this.. Is Odin Balfore.

The baddest Motha Fucka in APW.

So take the money and run Donovan because it’s the only sympathy that you’ll be getting from me ever.

So I have spoken, so it shall… come to pass..

* Odin throws the money into the air and waits away as the camera fades on the funeral precession still going on in the background. *


~FINN