Post by Odin Balfore on Jan 23, 2012 21:59:43 GMT -4
* Odin Balfore, the big Nordic Tank sits at a two chaired table drinking from a large beer pitcher. Dressed in in a nice button down and blue jeans, Odin taps his cowboy boots on the floor of a moment before toasting to the camera. *
Odin: AHH, here’s to your health APW.
* Odin takes a large swig as he wipes his mouth with the palm of his hand. *
I know what you’re thinking, he comes a brooding, gimmicky, bar scene. Most call this promo number twelve, I call it a warning. I call it that, because that’s what this is. “ cliché! “ I know, how many times has a new guy came in only to warn the roster. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. No, I’m here to warn my opponents in this match because there’s such an inconsistent degree of talent. Looking around at first glance I can see that all of my opponents are cold. No ones had a match in at least two shows. You have four debuts. Even the champ herself gets to debut, if she even shows up. Olivetti didn’t have a match last week, and got eliminated the week before that. Championship material? All day baby! And I’ll drink to that!
* Odin takes another drink before clanging his pitcher on the table. *
Lets play a drinking game. Lets play the drinking game of hopes and dreams. Everyone has hopes and dreams, especially everyone in this match. Phil Atkins for example, As we all know he’s the poster boy for hopes and dreams and a dead ringer for this game. He dreams for the rights of the wrestlers. He hopes to redeem his eleven year career that’s been.. Less then mediocre. He wants rights so that wrestlers will be safe? Do you know what profession you’re in?
* Odin toasts the cameraman. *
I don’t know which aspirations bigger; the fact that you want a labor union or the fact that in all your years, you’ll just come out of this championship match with the suicide title. It seems like you got a lot of things to mind You’re petition, your pod cast, your career. Wow..
* Odin wipes his brow *
Talk about pressure. You’re so caught up in all this political drama that you’re missing the one thing you should be paying the most attention too. Me! All of you need to remember right off the bat that I’m coming in after a solid win. If you guys didn’t see my win against Donovan Caine then go back and take a look. Atkins, you better be worried about me because its guys like me that are the reason you’re hunting for safety regulations. Just remember that you’re a guy past his prime in an eleven year span where as I’m going just as strong as ever. After Survive and Conquer, I’ll give you something to talk about on that little pod cast of yours. You can talk about how Odin Balfore walked into the Pay Per View and took out the Asylum competition! Competition? Lets talk bout the debut of Michael Callahan. Hes the man with the biggest dreams of them all. Yale man by way of the military.
* brief golf clap. *
Maybe I’m suppose to salute you? What man graduates Yale with aspirations of taking political office, only to become a pro wrestler? Have you seen the kind of people that you have to deal with in this line of work? Every other guy that walks through this door is “crazy .” And you wanna get involved in all this? It’s a great way to kill that rep, now isn’t it? How are you gonna go up on that campaign trail with your years as a pro wrestler behind you? The media will tear you apart, no matter how good of a public speaker you are. Just like I will tear you apart despite how good of a technical wrestler you are. I’m sure that in the military they told you that it’s not the size of the dog in the fight but rather the fight in the dog? Well at seven foot tall and three hundred and forty pounds, there’s no dog bigger in the fight then me and trust me- I will take the fight right out of you. Its my brute size that will dictate the pace of this match, Callahan, not your submissions. Putting yourself on the ground in this match, pardon the pun, would be suicide. Going to the ground, leaving yourself vulnerable.. Any of you, gives me all the time I need to assert my will onto the match with the best big boot in the biz today. Callahan, Here’s to that long campaign trail to the Suicide title and your “ promising “ APW career, maybe you and Atkins can compare notes afterwards. Phil Atkins, that’s exactly what you have to look forward too for all your political and wrestling aspirations!
So Callahan, let me make this scramble match your official welcome to APW as coincidentally its my own. APW will get to see on a grand scale just what it is that I can do in that ring. They already saw what happened to Caine. The match over almost as quick as it begin an if you don’t watch yourself, your career might be as quick as his match against me. I know that Manhattan White knows all about short careers, coming off his little injury an all. He comes back in this match and we already heard from you, didn’t we? White, you hope that you’re going to compete? You hope to put on a show? Boy, I don’t know what kind of show you wana put on but this is a wrestling match. This isn’t a New Jersey street fight. I don’t know who you’re trying to impress more though, Kash or you? All you did was talk about how Kash said that he likes your style?
* Odin takes another sip. *
OHH, I’m totally gonna drink to that. Here’s something else I’ll drink too as well- the fact that you had a pre recorded promo at a house show! YAY! ..
* Odin shoots a the camera a mean disgruntled glare with a exaggerated snort. *
What, do you want a hit off of Kash’s bong? Shoving your head up Kash’s ass, ain’t the way to get ahead around here. The fact that you put Kash up on that pedestal is just sad. Let me tell you something, White. Pay real close attention because I’m about to shatter your little fan boy dreams about Kash. I’ve been up and down the road with Kash for a long time. We’ve had some of our best matches together. He’ll be the first one to tell you that I really am The Baddest Motha Fucka in this business today, period. It’s also no secrete that we hate each others guts and this little operation that we got goin on here is just to make money. Listen to this part too. You can either make money or friends. I’ve made a lot of money, more then any of you will ever see in your life times, I’ve squandered pretty much all of it an I made a lot of enemies like Kash. All of them will tell you, Kash included that I’m no one to fuck with. As much praise as you get..
* Odin raises his voice and acts childish for a moment, mocking White. *
yay, Jason Kash said hi to me, yay!
* Odin scoffs as his voice goes back to normal. *
Anything that Jason Kash tells me about anyone, I take with a grain of salt. If he says you got some skill, alright. Lets see them. You had the chance, White, you had the chance an you failed. I’ll say one thing that Kash knows about me though. He knows that I won’t hesitate to rip out your lunges and choke you with them. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never grown up in a hard life, not one that I bestowed upon myself but I didn’t have a harsh child hood or grow up on rough streets like you did but I can guarantee White, that this will be the hardest match you’ve ever fought an you’ll be lucky to make it out alive, I’ll make sure of that.
I’ll tell you all right now, Odin Balfore will make sure of a lot of things. I came into APW because I’m greedy. I know what I’m worth in this business an I can draw money better then anyone else. I look at you guys an I can see why this is the opening bout. Even with my talent and my name, the fact that you have Phil Atkins, Michael Callahan, Manhattan White and the no where to be found Suicidal champion, Katrina Olivetti. Honestly. Honestly. You all know the only reason this match is on the card and not off in Manhattan Whites fantasy “ house show ” is because of me. Here’s to thinking that any of you are really bankable and dependable.
* Odin starts chugging the pitcher and gets the beer pitcher half empty. *
That might be the most laughable of them all. You stone cold, green, has been, never was, never- will be,
“ talents ” all think you have a whiskey chance at an AA meeting of winning. What do any of my three other opponents have that the champ herself doesn’t? You’re all brave, determined, willing to do what ever it takes to win? Ya’ll have the skills to win but do you have the balls big enough to take me down? and you’re out to show APW why you are - - -
* Odin trails off into a yawn, as his mouth stretches out wide and his large teeth show through. *
Leave it to you green horns to come out and just spit the same rehashed lines that every other rookie has dribbled off from the script. I bet that aside from Atkins, feel that you have a future right? Because Atkins doesn’t even have a past in order to have a future. Even Olivetti will probably come out here and tell you that’s she’s this dominant champion despite losing and just being nonexistent as of the past few weeks. Wow, what a proven champion you are. I mean, sincerely, wow. So here you come right? Here comes the champion with the most impressive move set ever to non exist, poised to make her return to action and defend her title against three other men and The Nordic Tank.
Tell us something though, Olivetti. While doing my research I came across an interesting little fact that you don’t like tag matches because don’t like having to worry about multiple opponents. You like having to depend on a team mate. Well that’s ok, this match is tailor made for you then because all that you have to depend on, all that you’ll have to bank on is Odin Balfore coming into Miami, walking down to that ring and controlling the pace of this match and working off the kinks, pressure, insecurities and ill placed confidence of my opponents. What I’m wondering though is Olivetti. I’m curious to her mind set going into this match. Are you going to use that impressive yet highly improbably, boarder line impossible move set?
* Odin pulls out a piece of folded paper out from his pocket, unfolds it and begins to look it over. *
Looking over the move set, I don’t see how any of these moves are physically possible. I’ll even give you the benefit of a training dummy or a dry run through but this?
* Odin slams the paper on the table. *
Do you honestly think you can jack hammer me off the middle rope or spring board power bomb me? How about jump onto my shoulders from the tope rope? In fact, how are you gonna do any of these things? At what point do you begin to mount an offense? I know that I have the biggest target on my back because I represent the biggest threat but you? Don’t confuse the issue, I’m not under estimating you. I just want to know how your reckless abandon will win you this match? It seems that everyone in this match is heel. We’re all deemed the bad guys. Hmp.
* Odin’s mind amuses himself for a moment. *
Really? bad guys? The four of you, heels? What legitimate threat are any of you? You have two cocky loud mouths, a hardcore, “ to catch a predator” business man an Olivetti. The Suicidal champ whose only out for herself. Tell me, is that what makes you heel, Olivetti? The fact that you dont care about yourself or others? Is that why fans boo you? Is the unwarranted an unproven arrogance by the other three make them heel? Is that what makes them bad men? What terrible qualities do any of you have combined? I’m damn sure that I’m the only one that is contractually obligated not to kill anyone due to my size and strength. That’s why people don’t like me. It’s because I’m not any of you. I’m only cheered by those who understand an appreciate what I can truly do in that ring, something that ya’ll find out first hand. Everyone one else who sees me gets scared, really scared because I don’t make this look fake. Odin Balfore makes this look real, damn real because when its Odin Balfore.. It is real!
* Odin stands up with his beer pitcher in hand. *
To think any of you stand a chance.
* Odin chugs down the rest of the beer. *
This scramble match the welcoming home of the new Suicidal champion because to face Odin Balfore is just that! Sunday night is when everyone questions their career, life and fails in comparison to me because I’m beyond the standard that Olivetti has set. Here’s to the dominating the Asylum brand, to being the only true heel when I break all your backs and walk out with that title around my waste and your souls in my shadow, simply because I can. Enjoy it all now because after Sunday there will be nothing left to celebrate but the crowning of the greatest Suicide Champion, Odin Balfore!
So I have spoken.. So it shall.. Come to pass!
~FINN
Odin: AHH, here’s to your health APW.
* Odin takes a large swig as he wipes his mouth with the palm of his hand. *
I know what you’re thinking, he comes a brooding, gimmicky, bar scene. Most call this promo number twelve, I call it a warning. I call it that, because that’s what this is. “ cliché! “ I know, how many times has a new guy came in only to warn the roster. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. No, I’m here to warn my opponents in this match because there’s such an inconsistent degree of talent. Looking around at first glance I can see that all of my opponents are cold. No ones had a match in at least two shows. You have four debuts. Even the champ herself gets to debut, if she even shows up. Olivetti didn’t have a match last week, and got eliminated the week before that. Championship material? All day baby! And I’ll drink to that!
* Odin takes another drink before clanging his pitcher on the table. *
Lets play a drinking game. Lets play the drinking game of hopes and dreams. Everyone has hopes and dreams, especially everyone in this match. Phil Atkins for example, As we all know he’s the poster boy for hopes and dreams and a dead ringer for this game. He dreams for the rights of the wrestlers. He hopes to redeem his eleven year career that’s been.. Less then mediocre. He wants rights so that wrestlers will be safe? Do you know what profession you’re in?
* Odin toasts the cameraman. *
I don’t know which aspirations bigger; the fact that you want a labor union or the fact that in all your years, you’ll just come out of this championship match with the suicide title. It seems like you got a lot of things to mind You’re petition, your pod cast, your career. Wow..
* Odin wipes his brow *
Talk about pressure. You’re so caught up in all this political drama that you’re missing the one thing you should be paying the most attention too. Me! All of you need to remember right off the bat that I’m coming in after a solid win. If you guys didn’t see my win against Donovan Caine then go back and take a look. Atkins, you better be worried about me because its guys like me that are the reason you’re hunting for safety regulations. Just remember that you’re a guy past his prime in an eleven year span where as I’m going just as strong as ever. After Survive and Conquer, I’ll give you something to talk about on that little pod cast of yours. You can talk about how Odin Balfore walked into the Pay Per View and took out the Asylum competition! Competition? Lets talk bout the debut of Michael Callahan. Hes the man with the biggest dreams of them all. Yale man by way of the military.
* brief golf clap. *
Maybe I’m suppose to salute you? What man graduates Yale with aspirations of taking political office, only to become a pro wrestler? Have you seen the kind of people that you have to deal with in this line of work? Every other guy that walks through this door is “crazy .” And you wanna get involved in all this? It’s a great way to kill that rep, now isn’t it? How are you gonna go up on that campaign trail with your years as a pro wrestler behind you? The media will tear you apart, no matter how good of a public speaker you are. Just like I will tear you apart despite how good of a technical wrestler you are. I’m sure that in the military they told you that it’s not the size of the dog in the fight but rather the fight in the dog? Well at seven foot tall and three hundred and forty pounds, there’s no dog bigger in the fight then me and trust me- I will take the fight right out of you. Its my brute size that will dictate the pace of this match, Callahan, not your submissions. Putting yourself on the ground in this match, pardon the pun, would be suicide. Going to the ground, leaving yourself vulnerable.. Any of you, gives me all the time I need to assert my will onto the match with the best big boot in the biz today. Callahan, Here’s to that long campaign trail to the Suicide title and your “ promising “ APW career, maybe you and Atkins can compare notes afterwards. Phil Atkins, that’s exactly what you have to look forward too for all your political and wrestling aspirations!
So Callahan, let me make this scramble match your official welcome to APW as coincidentally its my own. APW will get to see on a grand scale just what it is that I can do in that ring. They already saw what happened to Caine. The match over almost as quick as it begin an if you don’t watch yourself, your career might be as quick as his match against me. I know that Manhattan White knows all about short careers, coming off his little injury an all. He comes back in this match and we already heard from you, didn’t we? White, you hope that you’re going to compete? You hope to put on a show? Boy, I don’t know what kind of show you wana put on but this is a wrestling match. This isn’t a New Jersey street fight. I don’t know who you’re trying to impress more though, Kash or you? All you did was talk about how Kash said that he likes your style?
* Odin takes another sip. *
OHH, I’m totally gonna drink to that. Here’s something else I’ll drink too as well- the fact that you had a pre recorded promo at a house show! YAY! ..
* Odin shoots a the camera a mean disgruntled glare with a exaggerated snort. *
What, do you want a hit off of Kash’s bong? Shoving your head up Kash’s ass, ain’t the way to get ahead around here. The fact that you put Kash up on that pedestal is just sad. Let me tell you something, White. Pay real close attention because I’m about to shatter your little fan boy dreams about Kash. I’ve been up and down the road with Kash for a long time. We’ve had some of our best matches together. He’ll be the first one to tell you that I really am The Baddest Motha Fucka in this business today, period. It’s also no secrete that we hate each others guts and this little operation that we got goin on here is just to make money. Listen to this part too. You can either make money or friends. I’ve made a lot of money, more then any of you will ever see in your life times, I’ve squandered pretty much all of it an I made a lot of enemies like Kash. All of them will tell you, Kash included that I’m no one to fuck with. As much praise as you get..
* Odin raises his voice and acts childish for a moment, mocking White. *
yay, Jason Kash said hi to me, yay!
* Odin scoffs as his voice goes back to normal. *
Anything that Jason Kash tells me about anyone, I take with a grain of salt. If he says you got some skill, alright. Lets see them. You had the chance, White, you had the chance an you failed. I’ll say one thing that Kash knows about me though. He knows that I won’t hesitate to rip out your lunges and choke you with them. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve never grown up in a hard life, not one that I bestowed upon myself but I didn’t have a harsh child hood or grow up on rough streets like you did but I can guarantee White, that this will be the hardest match you’ve ever fought an you’ll be lucky to make it out alive, I’ll make sure of that.
I’ll tell you all right now, Odin Balfore will make sure of a lot of things. I came into APW because I’m greedy. I know what I’m worth in this business an I can draw money better then anyone else. I look at you guys an I can see why this is the opening bout. Even with my talent and my name, the fact that you have Phil Atkins, Michael Callahan, Manhattan White and the no where to be found Suicidal champion, Katrina Olivetti. Honestly. Honestly. You all know the only reason this match is on the card and not off in Manhattan Whites fantasy “ house show ” is because of me. Here’s to thinking that any of you are really bankable and dependable.
* Odin starts chugging the pitcher and gets the beer pitcher half empty. *
That might be the most laughable of them all. You stone cold, green, has been, never was, never- will be,
“ talents ” all think you have a whiskey chance at an AA meeting of winning. What do any of my three other opponents have that the champ herself doesn’t? You’re all brave, determined, willing to do what ever it takes to win? Ya’ll have the skills to win but do you have the balls big enough to take me down? and you’re out to show APW why you are - - -
* Odin trails off into a yawn, as his mouth stretches out wide and his large teeth show through. *
Leave it to you green horns to come out and just spit the same rehashed lines that every other rookie has dribbled off from the script. I bet that aside from Atkins, feel that you have a future right? Because Atkins doesn’t even have a past in order to have a future. Even Olivetti will probably come out here and tell you that’s she’s this dominant champion despite losing and just being nonexistent as of the past few weeks. Wow, what a proven champion you are. I mean, sincerely, wow. So here you come right? Here comes the champion with the most impressive move set ever to non exist, poised to make her return to action and defend her title against three other men and The Nordic Tank.
Tell us something though, Olivetti. While doing my research I came across an interesting little fact that you don’t like tag matches because don’t like having to worry about multiple opponents. You like having to depend on a team mate. Well that’s ok, this match is tailor made for you then because all that you have to depend on, all that you’ll have to bank on is Odin Balfore coming into Miami, walking down to that ring and controlling the pace of this match and working off the kinks, pressure, insecurities and ill placed confidence of my opponents. What I’m wondering though is Olivetti. I’m curious to her mind set going into this match. Are you going to use that impressive yet highly improbably, boarder line impossible move set?
* Odin pulls out a piece of folded paper out from his pocket, unfolds it and begins to look it over. *
Looking over the move set, I don’t see how any of these moves are physically possible. I’ll even give you the benefit of a training dummy or a dry run through but this?
* Odin slams the paper on the table. *
Do you honestly think you can jack hammer me off the middle rope or spring board power bomb me? How about jump onto my shoulders from the tope rope? In fact, how are you gonna do any of these things? At what point do you begin to mount an offense? I know that I have the biggest target on my back because I represent the biggest threat but you? Don’t confuse the issue, I’m not under estimating you. I just want to know how your reckless abandon will win you this match? It seems that everyone in this match is heel. We’re all deemed the bad guys. Hmp.
* Odin’s mind amuses himself for a moment. *
Really? bad guys? The four of you, heels? What legitimate threat are any of you? You have two cocky loud mouths, a hardcore, “ to catch a predator” business man an Olivetti. The Suicidal champ whose only out for herself. Tell me, is that what makes you heel, Olivetti? The fact that you dont care about yourself or others? Is that why fans boo you? Is the unwarranted an unproven arrogance by the other three make them heel? Is that what makes them bad men? What terrible qualities do any of you have combined? I’m damn sure that I’m the only one that is contractually obligated not to kill anyone due to my size and strength. That’s why people don’t like me. It’s because I’m not any of you. I’m only cheered by those who understand an appreciate what I can truly do in that ring, something that ya’ll find out first hand. Everyone one else who sees me gets scared, really scared because I don’t make this look fake. Odin Balfore makes this look real, damn real because when its Odin Balfore.. It is real!
* Odin stands up with his beer pitcher in hand. *
To think any of you stand a chance.
* Odin chugs down the rest of the beer. *
This scramble match the welcoming home of the new Suicidal champion because to face Odin Balfore is just that! Sunday night is when everyone questions their career, life and fails in comparison to me because I’m beyond the standard that Olivetti has set. Here’s to the dominating the Asylum brand, to being the only true heel when I break all your backs and walk out with that title around my waste and your souls in my shadow, simply because I can. Enjoy it all now because after Sunday there will be nothing left to celebrate but the crowning of the greatest Suicide Champion, Odin Balfore!
So I have spoken.. So it shall.. Come to pass!
~FINN
