Post by Pepsi on Feb 2, 2012 22:12:57 GMT -4
*A strapping young lad in his early 20's rolls out of bed. He is wearing awesome Buzz Lightyear pajamas. He stands up and stretches. He then sits down at his laptop and activates the webcam. He logs onto Youtube and checks his channel.*
PEPSI PARTY
SUBSCRIBERS 2
BILLY PEPSI: Sweet! 2 subscribers already and I haven't even posted 1 video. Well here goes nothing.
*Billy sports an ear to ear grin and begins to record.*
BILLY PEPSI: Good day friends and neighbors and welcome to the Pepsi Party episode 1. Ohhh yeah Pepsi Par-tay. I'm your most awesomest host Billy Pepsi. Today is a big day. Today is the day I tell Mom and Dad that I'm the newest APW Asylum Megastar. That's right, Lil' Peps is onto the big leagues. I just know they are going to be so happy for me. Now I know what you're gonna say. You're gonna say "Billy, your parents hate the fact that your a pro wrestler, and think you're wasting your life." Well, that may be true of the past, but today is a new day my friends. I'm gonna gird up my loins and show them that I'm the man. Of course before I go I should check the quote of the day.
*Billy tears away a page from a tear away calender.*
BILLY PEPSI: There you have it. The one who is willing to do and dare. That's me! Billy Pepsi the one who dares to... dare. Thanks for joining me for the greatest web show ever... THE PEPSI PARTY!
*Billy clicks on the upload button.*
BILLY PEPSI: Now that's what I call entertainment.
*Billy walks into the home of his parents. It is a large 100 year old home in Happy Valley, Newfoundland. He is greeted at the door by his mother Cherry Pepsi. She is a early 60ish woman with curly old lady hair, and glasses.*
CHERRY PEPSI: Billy, this is a surprise. I wasn't expecting to see you today.
BILLY PEPSI: Well, I was gonna call but I figured you would have seen me announce it on The Pepsi Party, episode 1!
CHERRY PEPSI: The Pepsi Party?
BILLY PEPSI: My web series. I sent you an invite to subscribe.
CHERRY PEPSI: Well isn't that cute. I'll be sure to watch it as soon as I have the time.
BILLY PEPSI: For sure, I'm not one to brag, but it's a pretty awesome show if I do say so myself.
CHERRY PEPSI: I'm sure it is.
BILLY PEPSI: Is dad home?
CHERRY PEPSI: He's in the parlour.
*Billy walks down the hall and goes into the parlour. Billy's dad Peppi Pepsi is sitting in a lazy boy chair reading a newspaper. He is a wrinkled, burly man with a permanent scowl on his face.*
BILLY PEPSI: Hey dad, did you hear about my new web series?
PEPPI PEPSI: I don't care Billy.
BILLY PEPSI: Gotcha.
*Billy stands around with an akward grin on his face. Peppi tries to ignore him, but gets tired of it. He folds up his newspaper and looks up at Billy. His permanent scowl deepens.*
PEPPI PEPSI: Well, did come bug me for a reason, or did you just come to stand around grinning like a moron.
BILLY PEPSI: Well, I have a big announcement to make.
*Billy waits for his father's acknowledgement. He waits... and waits... and waits, and Peppi just scowls.*
BILLY PEPSI: Right... well, you're looking at the newest APW Asylum Megastar.
*His father stares at him blankly for nearly a minute. Then his scowl turns to a smile.*
PEPPI PESI: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh I needed a good laugh today.
*Cherry walks into the parlour. What's so funny?*
PEPPI PEPSI: Your brilliant son here says he's the newest APW Megastar. Ha!
CHERRY PEPSI: Well isn't that cute!
*Billy begins to frown.*
BILLY PEPSI: It's not cute. It's tough, it's mean. I'm gonna be mixing it up with some of the baddest men on the planet on a bi-weekly basis.
PEPPI PEPSI: No, you're gonna be dancing around with a bunch of pansies wearing underwear.
BILLY PEPSI: There called tights Dad.
PEPPI PEPSI: Oh, you're right. Tights make it sound much tougher.
CHERRY PEPSI: Billy, don't you think it's time to put this wrestling silliness behind you and start a real career.
BILLY PEPSI: This is a real career. I'm gonna be famous.
PEPPI PEPSI: Come on Billy. Every Pepsi since your Great-Great Grandfather crossed the ocean to this great land have been one of two things. Either a fisher, or a flyer.
BILLY PEPSI: I had a career as a flyer once.
PEPPI PEPSI: No, you delivered flyers once. Besides I would hardly call delivering ads for Merv's Bait and Tackle a career.
BILLY PEPSI: But, you always told me to follow my dream.
PEPPI PEPSI: No, I always told you your dreams were stupid, and juvenile, and you were going to be a screw up if you don't do what I tell you.
BILLY PEPSI: But, I won't screw up this time. I'm already an accomplished wrestler. You forget, I am the reigning Goose Bay Championship Wrestling Champion.
PEPPI PEPSI: Pretty easy to be champion when your only opponent is a pillow, and your ring is the basement.
BILLY PEPSI: Hey, that was one stiff pillow.
CHERRY PEPSI: Come on Billy. Why do you have to play around all the time. You need to get yourself a good job. I'm sure your brother Butch will give you a spot on his new fishing boat.
BILLY PEPSI: I don't want to be a fisherman. I want to do something different with my life. I want to take some risks. Haven't you ever heard the quote by Dale Carnegie. He said that the person who dares to dare will never get off the sure-boat unless he's on the shore... or something like that.
PEPPI PEPSI: You even screwed up the quote you idiot.
BILLY PEPSI: Look, I thought you two would support me in this. I thought you would be impressed with all the hard work I have put into this. Because that's what family does we support each other.
*Billy looks at his parents with puppy dog eyes and looks for approval. His Dad just scowls, and his Mom tries to hide her snickers.*
BILLY PEPSI: Fine, you just watch. I'm gonna be the best APW Megastar ever. You two can just watch my progress on The Pepsi Party. Cause I don't wanna talk to you two jerks again.
*Billy storms out in a huff. Peppi looks over at Cherry.*
PEPPI PEPSI: Where did we go wrong with that boy?
CHERRY PEPSI: I told you we should have stopped at 6 kids.
*Billy sits down at his laptop again. He activated the webcam and begins to record again.*
BILLY PEPSI: Pepsi Party Episode 1 epilogue. The truth is I don't care what my parents say. I don't care what anyone says. I am going to be a megastar. I have been underestimated all my life. I was always the last one picked at Dodgeball. Nobody ever thought Billy Pepsi would amount to anything, but here I am. Hanging with the big shots of the wrestling business in APW. I'm here to stay and I'm not gonna stop till I reach the top... ha I made a rhyme! Take that Dr. Seuss. You don't got nothing on the Pesp-meister. I'm the man. Billy Pepsi's name will soon be as recognized throughout the world as Mel Gibson's. Well, without the drunken, anti-semitic, woman beating craziness that is. More like the pre Passion Of The Christ Mel Gibson, you know before he exposed himself as a wacko. The point is, I'm gonna be big. On February 12th I have a chance to leave my first mark on Asylum.
What better way to start off than facing three people at once. I am the most inexperienced, and eventhough there's a woman in the match, I am also the shortest one. How sad is that? I'll show them that big things come in small packages... not to say I have a small package... you know what I mean. Anyways, on to business. Let's talk about my opponents. First we have Matt Matlock. With movie star good looks, and one of the coolest names ever you may say to yourself "Self, how can Billy Pepsi beat someone as well rounded as Matt Matlock?" Fair question. At 6'3" 270 lbs. he truly seems to have me beat. He has the looks, the size, and the intensity, but there's one thing he doesn't have... The Eye Of The Tiger! I've got it. I have the Eye Of The Tiger baby. When I get in that ring I'm in the zone. I'm like a secret ninja who floats like a butterfly and stings like a beetle. Oh yeah! Matt Matlock won't know what hit him. He's gonna walk around saying "I'm cool, I'm tough, I don't care about nothin" and while he's talking, I'm gonna drop him like a bad habit.
Then we have "The One Woman Riot" Alyssa Casteele. The feminine side of the fight. I must say, I'm glad to have you in the match. It means for once I won't be the girliest one in the fight. Finally someone who I will appear to be tougher than. I've never hit a girl before. I've been hit by girls before. Slapped across the face, kicked between the legs, you name it. I can take it. There ain't nothing a girl can dish out that I can't take. I don't like the idea of hitting a girl, but this isn't personal... it's just business. Woman or not, you've got a whoopin' coming. I will show no mercy, because in the words of the great sensei John Kreece from the Cobra Kai dojo "An enemy deserves no mercy".
Finally we have "The Virus" Chris McKenzie. I had a virus once, but I didn't take pills to make it go away. I fought it off with pure will power baby! No tylenol cold and flu for me. Just some good old fashioned, hardcore determination, and true grit. I ain't scared of no virus. Sure he's got a pretty successful track record, but come on with his soap opera personal life dragging him down, there's no way his head will be fully in the game. That's why Billy Pepsi doesn't play the love game. I play by my own rules, and won't let no lady complicate my life. Billy Pepsi... Renaissance Man! So am I afraid of being infected by "The Virus", not on your life. This match is mine. I will be the last man... or woman... or person standing. Why you ask? Because I'm that guy in the boat Carnegie was talking about. I will dare to swim to shore. I Live Life on the edge baby. So get ready, cause Billy Pepsi's first step towards glory starts on Feb. 12. Stay tuned to the Pepsi Party, it's only gonna get gooder and gooder baby! Peps Out!
PEPSI PARTY
SUBSCRIBERS 2
BILLY PEPSI: Sweet! 2 subscribers already and I haven't even posted 1 video. Well here goes nothing.
*Billy sports an ear to ear grin and begins to record.*
BILLY PEPSI: Good day friends and neighbors and welcome to the Pepsi Party episode 1. Ohhh yeah Pepsi Par-tay. I'm your most awesomest host Billy Pepsi. Today is a big day. Today is the day I tell Mom and Dad that I'm the newest APW Asylum Megastar. That's right, Lil' Peps is onto the big leagues. I just know they are going to be so happy for me. Now I know what you're gonna say. You're gonna say "Billy, your parents hate the fact that your a pro wrestler, and think you're wasting your life." Well, that may be true of the past, but today is a new day my friends. I'm gonna gird up my loins and show them that I'm the man. Of course before I go I should check the quote of the day.
*Billy tears away a page from a tear away calender.*
February 2, 2012:
"The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore."
-Dale Carnegie
"The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore."
-Dale Carnegie
BILLY PEPSI: There you have it. The one who is willing to do and dare. That's me! Billy Pepsi the one who dares to... dare. Thanks for joining me for the greatest web show ever... THE PEPSI PARTY!
*Billy clicks on the upload button.*
BILLY PEPSI: Now that's what I call entertainment.
*Billy walks into the home of his parents. It is a large 100 year old home in Happy Valley, Newfoundland. He is greeted at the door by his mother Cherry Pepsi. She is a early 60ish woman with curly old lady hair, and glasses.*
CHERRY PEPSI: Billy, this is a surprise. I wasn't expecting to see you today.
BILLY PEPSI: Well, I was gonna call but I figured you would have seen me announce it on The Pepsi Party, episode 1!
CHERRY PEPSI: The Pepsi Party?
BILLY PEPSI: My web series. I sent you an invite to subscribe.
CHERRY PEPSI: Well isn't that cute. I'll be sure to watch it as soon as I have the time.
BILLY PEPSI: For sure, I'm not one to brag, but it's a pretty awesome show if I do say so myself.
CHERRY PEPSI: I'm sure it is.
BILLY PEPSI: Is dad home?
CHERRY PEPSI: He's in the parlour.
*Billy walks down the hall and goes into the parlour. Billy's dad Peppi Pepsi is sitting in a lazy boy chair reading a newspaper. He is a wrinkled, burly man with a permanent scowl on his face.*
BILLY PEPSI: Hey dad, did you hear about my new web series?
PEPPI PEPSI: I don't care Billy.
BILLY PEPSI: Gotcha.
*Billy stands around with an akward grin on his face. Peppi tries to ignore him, but gets tired of it. He folds up his newspaper and looks up at Billy. His permanent scowl deepens.*
PEPPI PEPSI: Well, did come bug me for a reason, or did you just come to stand around grinning like a moron.
BILLY PEPSI: Well, I have a big announcement to make.
*Billy waits for his father's acknowledgement. He waits... and waits... and waits, and Peppi just scowls.*
BILLY PEPSI: Right... well, you're looking at the newest APW Asylum Megastar.
*His father stares at him blankly for nearly a minute. Then his scowl turns to a smile.*
PEPPI PESI: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh I needed a good laugh today.
*Cherry walks into the parlour. What's so funny?*
PEPPI PEPSI: Your brilliant son here says he's the newest APW Megastar. Ha!
CHERRY PEPSI: Well isn't that cute!
*Billy begins to frown.*
BILLY PEPSI: It's not cute. It's tough, it's mean. I'm gonna be mixing it up with some of the baddest men on the planet on a bi-weekly basis.
PEPPI PEPSI: No, you're gonna be dancing around with a bunch of pansies wearing underwear.
BILLY PEPSI: There called tights Dad.
PEPPI PEPSI: Oh, you're right. Tights make it sound much tougher.
CHERRY PEPSI: Billy, don't you think it's time to put this wrestling silliness behind you and start a real career.
BILLY PEPSI: This is a real career. I'm gonna be famous.
PEPPI PEPSI: Come on Billy. Every Pepsi since your Great-Great Grandfather crossed the ocean to this great land have been one of two things. Either a fisher, or a flyer.
BILLY PEPSI: I had a career as a flyer once.
PEPPI PEPSI: No, you delivered flyers once. Besides I would hardly call delivering ads for Merv's Bait and Tackle a career.
BILLY PEPSI: But, you always told me to follow my dream.
PEPPI PEPSI: No, I always told you your dreams were stupid, and juvenile, and you were going to be a screw up if you don't do what I tell you.
BILLY PEPSI: But, I won't screw up this time. I'm already an accomplished wrestler. You forget, I am the reigning Goose Bay Championship Wrestling Champion.
PEPPI PEPSI: Pretty easy to be champion when your only opponent is a pillow, and your ring is the basement.
BILLY PEPSI: Hey, that was one stiff pillow.
CHERRY PEPSI: Come on Billy. Why do you have to play around all the time. You need to get yourself a good job. I'm sure your brother Butch will give you a spot on his new fishing boat.
BILLY PEPSI: I don't want to be a fisherman. I want to do something different with my life. I want to take some risks. Haven't you ever heard the quote by Dale Carnegie. He said that the person who dares to dare will never get off the sure-boat unless he's on the shore... or something like that.
PEPPI PEPSI: You even screwed up the quote you idiot.
BILLY PEPSI: Look, I thought you two would support me in this. I thought you would be impressed with all the hard work I have put into this. Because that's what family does we support each other.
*Billy looks at his parents with puppy dog eyes and looks for approval. His Dad just scowls, and his Mom tries to hide her snickers.*
BILLY PEPSI: Fine, you just watch. I'm gonna be the best APW Megastar ever. You two can just watch my progress on The Pepsi Party. Cause I don't wanna talk to you two jerks again.
*Billy storms out in a huff. Peppi looks over at Cherry.*
PEPPI PEPSI: Where did we go wrong with that boy?
CHERRY PEPSI: I told you we should have stopped at 6 kids.
*Billy sits down at his laptop again. He activated the webcam and begins to record again.*
BILLY PEPSI: Pepsi Party Episode 1 epilogue. The truth is I don't care what my parents say. I don't care what anyone says. I am going to be a megastar. I have been underestimated all my life. I was always the last one picked at Dodgeball. Nobody ever thought Billy Pepsi would amount to anything, but here I am. Hanging with the big shots of the wrestling business in APW. I'm here to stay and I'm not gonna stop till I reach the top... ha I made a rhyme! Take that Dr. Seuss. You don't got nothing on the Pesp-meister. I'm the man. Billy Pepsi's name will soon be as recognized throughout the world as Mel Gibson's. Well, without the drunken, anti-semitic, woman beating craziness that is. More like the pre Passion Of The Christ Mel Gibson, you know before he exposed himself as a wacko. The point is, I'm gonna be big. On February 12th I have a chance to leave my first mark on Asylum.
What better way to start off than facing three people at once. I am the most inexperienced, and eventhough there's a woman in the match, I am also the shortest one. How sad is that? I'll show them that big things come in small packages... not to say I have a small package... you know what I mean. Anyways, on to business. Let's talk about my opponents. First we have Matt Matlock. With movie star good looks, and one of the coolest names ever you may say to yourself "Self, how can Billy Pepsi beat someone as well rounded as Matt Matlock?" Fair question. At 6'3" 270 lbs. he truly seems to have me beat. He has the looks, the size, and the intensity, but there's one thing he doesn't have... The Eye Of The Tiger! I've got it. I have the Eye Of The Tiger baby. When I get in that ring I'm in the zone. I'm like a secret ninja who floats like a butterfly and stings like a beetle. Oh yeah! Matt Matlock won't know what hit him. He's gonna walk around saying "I'm cool, I'm tough, I don't care about nothin" and while he's talking, I'm gonna drop him like a bad habit.
Then we have "The One Woman Riot" Alyssa Casteele. The feminine side of the fight. I must say, I'm glad to have you in the match. It means for once I won't be the girliest one in the fight. Finally someone who I will appear to be tougher than. I've never hit a girl before. I've been hit by girls before. Slapped across the face, kicked between the legs, you name it. I can take it. There ain't nothing a girl can dish out that I can't take. I don't like the idea of hitting a girl, but this isn't personal... it's just business. Woman or not, you've got a whoopin' coming. I will show no mercy, because in the words of the great sensei John Kreece from the Cobra Kai dojo "An enemy deserves no mercy".
Finally we have "The Virus" Chris McKenzie. I had a virus once, but I didn't take pills to make it go away. I fought it off with pure will power baby! No tylenol cold and flu for me. Just some good old fashioned, hardcore determination, and true grit. I ain't scared of no virus. Sure he's got a pretty successful track record, but come on with his soap opera personal life dragging him down, there's no way his head will be fully in the game. That's why Billy Pepsi doesn't play the love game. I play by my own rules, and won't let no lady complicate my life. Billy Pepsi... Renaissance Man! So am I afraid of being infected by "The Virus", not on your life. This match is mine. I will be the last man... or woman... or person standing. Why you ask? Because I'm that guy in the boat Carnegie was talking about. I will dare to swim to shore. I Live Life on the edge baby. So get ready, cause Billy Pepsi's first step towards glory starts on Feb. 12. Stay tuned to the Pepsi Party, it's only gonna get gooder and gooder baby! Peps Out!
