Post by Odin Balfore on Feb 8, 2012 20:23:40 GMT -4
RP2
* Odin Balfore walks into the local police station, walks right up to the desk and kneels down, with his best sib face and pleads for his forgiveness. *
“ I’m sorry, I’m sorry. “
Cop: Who are you and what are you talking about?
“ I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings! “
Cop: Who?
“ That pussy, Michal Callahan. Mister tough guy behind a web cam.”
Cop: What did you do?
“ I likened him to a fetus and broke its neck?”
Cop: Woah, his neck?
“ No the futus.”
* The cop shurgs. *
Cop: So, that’s good eatin. Boy, this is Texas, we nuke mongoloids for Saturday night entertainment.
* There’s so much wrong with that statement but with a glimmer of hope in his eyes, Odin looks up at the cop and exaggerates a snort. *
“ You mean I didn’t do anything wrong?”
Cop: Hell naw! Look here boy, what did this Callahan fella do to you to make you act the way you did.
* Odin stands up. *
“ He was a liar an a cheat. “
Cop: A liar and and cheat? Does he know where he is? What did you say his name was again?
“ Michael Callahan.”
* the cop ponders for a moment and looks down at his desk to see a wanted poster of Odin Balfore.*
Cop: and you say your name was…
“ Odin Balfore. “
Cop: Well ain’t I just a plum in a pie.
* Why do all stereotypical Texans say the weirdest shit? *
“ What?”
Cop: Boy we have a warrant for your arrest for killing an infant.
“ I know, that’s why I came in to give myself up. “
Cop: But for what? You did nothing wrong. I didn’t know that you were this guy. We already looked at those tapes and got the unedited footage. There’s boom mics in frame and that blonde chick on the beds laughin. Hell I even saw a Raccoon go into the closet with one of them fine nurses. I thought the whole thing was a hoot. A real laugh riot.
“ Yeah, that took us a couple of takes. “
Cop: I’m glad you’re here though because this is a very serious allegation brought on by this Callahan fella that you say is a liar and a cheat which is plainly obvious that he is so would you like to press charges against him because the state of Texas will be looking for him for that false police report. Its a lot of red tape cuz we have to extradite him from the coffee hippies up in bitch -ville Washington.
“ I think I’ll take care of him Saturday night in the ring. “
Cop: Damn shame that I won’t get to see it. Governor Perry will be here. Hes gonna fry is first Mongoloid since dropping out of the presidential race.
“ I’m sorry that its not Perry that’ll be in that chair. “
Cop: Well jokes on him, cuz it will be. He shamed all of us Texans.
“ Just like Callahan is shaming all us wrestlers. We don’t call the cops, we fight like real Americans. “
Cop: I reckon so. If you got a problem then you settle it man-o E man-o. By the sounds of it, this Callahan fella don’t know hide from hair of what a real fight is. I know he says that he’s a Marine but do they know that? I’d be damn ashamed to call myself a Devil Dog if Callahan was parading it around like he just found his daddy’s twelve gauge.
“ I got a feelin’ that he just did and like all kids, he’s got no idea how to use it till it blows his fucking head off. “
Cop: Well justice comes to us all.
“ An I’ll be there Saturday night to deliver it to him. “
Cop: Well if that means that you ain’t pressin’ no charges then you’re free to go.
* Odin smirks. *
“ Right chief. You take care now. “
* Odin walks out of the police station, staring right into the camera *
Odin: Callahan, face it, I exposed you as the little coward that you really are. I’ve been making guys like you pay for their mistakes longer then you’ve had the opportunity to make them but already you’ve made the worst one of all- crossing me. All this talk about being better then me, accomplishing more then I ever will and you respond by going to a cop? Which as you can see, they aren’t really after me. Callahan, if you pride yourself as a man, as a veteran, as a USMC, then you’ll have the guts to come out to the ring in my home state and show me what’s, what. Its terribly tragic however that your incapable of that and you’ve proven that just like you proven everything I’ve said absolutely true. The cops ain’t coming to get me. No ones gonna show up at my door step and take me away. I’ve been to prison, I’ve been to Russian prisons, our prison system is a joke. Just like you. You do good to remember that you gotta step into the ring with a pissed off Nordic Tank who knows very well how to take advantage of your fear and weakness.
This ain’t my first go, this won’t be my last but it will be yours. Your inexperience shows itself, your arrogance clouds you while mine just reassures the fact that one on one- there is me and you. There is only Odin Balfore standing in the ring against a petty and scared green horn that I have the pleasure of ripping down in the middle of that ring and taking a title from him that he doesn’t deserve. Callahan, there ain’t no more symbolism. It ain’t the time for little games and stabs while you sit behind a fucking desk. Saturdays as real as its gonna get for you my friend. Its where the rookie learns the ropes and where this cold hearted veteran won’t be making any mistakes. I hope you realize how stupid you look because we all know that in our line of work, it gets settled in the ring. So if you got issues with me killin babies and your career- come step into my office, I ain’t hard to find. What’s that though? You have nothing to say? You don’t want to handle the situation? You’ll let the authorities decide.. Is that authority suppose to be you? Are you gonna step in the ring and teach me a thing or two? Really give me the business? Let me tell ya something, you don’t know the first thing about this business but by the end of our match I’ll make sure your well schooled and you have one thing drilled into your skull. That you don’t fuck with Odin Balfore.
So go call the cops, the papers, go call your momma and get your funeral all squared away because Saturday is when the real murder happens. I’ll tell you right now, there won’t be any cops, no crossing guards, no walk on extras to slip you twenty bucks. It’ll just be you an I and that’s something that you just can’t handle.
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Odin Balfore an I will become your new Suicidal Champion. Not because I politic but because there ain’t a damn soul that’s going to stop me from decimating poor little Michal Callahan in that ring and leaving him the one true, wounded warrior. Saturday, Odin Balfore is going to ruin you.
For your fate comes at Ragnarok and my victory follows in its wake.
* Odin walks up to his classic Mustang an opens the door. *
So I have spoken, so it shall come to pass.
* Odin gets in the car, starts it up and speeds off. *
~FINN
* Odin Balfore walks into the local police station, walks right up to the desk and kneels down, with his best sib face and pleads for his forgiveness. *
“ I’m sorry, I’m sorry. “
Cop: Who are you and what are you talking about?
“ I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings! “
Cop: Who?
“ That pussy, Michal Callahan. Mister tough guy behind a web cam.”
Cop: What did you do?
“ I likened him to a fetus and broke its neck?”
Cop: Woah, his neck?
“ No the futus.”
* The cop shurgs. *
Cop: So, that’s good eatin. Boy, this is Texas, we nuke mongoloids for Saturday night entertainment.
* There’s so much wrong with that statement but with a glimmer of hope in his eyes, Odin looks up at the cop and exaggerates a snort. *
“ You mean I didn’t do anything wrong?”
Cop: Hell naw! Look here boy, what did this Callahan fella do to you to make you act the way you did.
* Odin stands up. *
“ He was a liar an a cheat. “
Cop: A liar and and cheat? Does he know where he is? What did you say his name was again?
“ Michael Callahan.”
* the cop ponders for a moment and looks down at his desk to see a wanted poster of Odin Balfore.*
Cop: and you say your name was…
“ Odin Balfore. “
Cop: Well ain’t I just a plum in a pie.
* Why do all stereotypical Texans say the weirdest shit? *
“ What?”
Cop: Boy we have a warrant for your arrest for killing an infant.
“ I know, that’s why I came in to give myself up. “
Cop: But for what? You did nothing wrong. I didn’t know that you were this guy. We already looked at those tapes and got the unedited footage. There’s boom mics in frame and that blonde chick on the beds laughin. Hell I even saw a Raccoon go into the closet with one of them fine nurses. I thought the whole thing was a hoot. A real laugh riot.
“ Yeah, that took us a couple of takes. “
Cop: I’m glad you’re here though because this is a very serious allegation brought on by this Callahan fella that you say is a liar and a cheat which is plainly obvious that he is so would you like to press charges against him because the state of Texas will be looking for him for that false police report. Its a lot of red tape cuz we have to extradite him from the coffee hippies up in bitch -ville Washington.
“ I think I’ll take care of him Saturday night in the ring. “
Cop: Damn shame that I won’t get to see it. Governor Perry will be here. Hes gonna fry is first Mongoloid since dropping out of the presidential race.
“ I’m sorry that its not Perry that’ll be in that chair. “
Cop: Well jokes on him, cuz it will be. He shamed all of us Texans.
“ Just like Callahan is shaming all us wrestlers. We don’t call the cops, we fight like real Americans. “
Cop: I reckon so. If you got a problem then you settle it man-o E man-o. By the sounds of it, this Callahan fella don’t know hide from hair of what a real fight is. I know he says that he’s a Marine but do they know that? I’d be damn ashamed to call myself a Devil Dog if Callahan was parading it around like he just found his daddy’s twelve gauge.
“ I got a feelin’ that he just did and like all kids, he’s got no idea how to use it till it blows his fucking head off. “
Cop: Well justice comes to us all.
“ An I’ll be there Saturday night to deliver it to him. “
Cop: Well if that means that you ain’t pressin’ no charges then you’re free to go.
* Odin smirks. *
“ Right chief. You take care now. “
* Odin walks out of the police station, staring right into the camera *
Odin: Callahan, face it, I exposed you as the little coward that you really are. I’ve been making guys like you pay for their mistakes longer then you’ve had the opportunity to make them but already you’ve made the worst one of all- crossing me. All this talk about being better then me, accomplishing more then I ever will and you respond by going to a cop? Which as you can see, they aren’t really after me. Callahan, if you pride yourself as a man, as a veteran, as a USMC, then you’ll have the guts to come out to the ring in my home state and show me what’s, what. Its terribly tragic however that your incapable of that and you’ve proven that just like you proven everything I’ve said absolutely true. The cops ain’t coming to get me. No ones gonna show up at my door step and take me away. I’ve been to prison, I’ve been to Russian prisons, our prison system is a joke. Just like you. You do good to remember that you gotta step into the ring with a pissed off Nordic Tank who knows very well how to take advantage of your fear and weakness.
This ain’t my first go, this won’t be my last but it will be yours. Your inexperience shows itself, your arrogance clouds you while mine just reassures the fact that one on one- there is me and you. There is only Odin Balfore standing in the ring against a petty and scared green horn that I have the pleasure of ripping down in the middle of that ring and taking a title from him that he doesn’t deserve. Callahan, there ain’t no more symbolism. It ain’t the time for little games and stabs while you sit behind a fucking desk. Saturdays as real as its gonna get for you my friend. Its where the rookie learns the ropes and where this cold hearted veteran won’t be making any mistakes. I hope you realize how stupid you look because we all know that in our line of work, it gets settled in the ring. So if you got issues with me killin babies and your career- come step into my office, I ain’t hard to find. What’s that though? You have nothing to say? You don’t want to handle the situation? You’ll let the authorities decide.. Is that authority suppose to be you? Are you gonna step in the ring and teach me a thing or two? Really give me the business? Let me tell ya something, you don’t know the first thing about this business but by the end of our match I’ll make sure your well schooled and you have one thing drilled into your skull. That you don’t fuck with Odin Balfore.
So go call the cops, the papers, go call your momma and get your funeral all squared away because Saturday is when the real murder happens. I’ll tell you right now, there won’t be any cops, no crossing guards, no walk on extras to slip you twenty bucks. It’ll just be you an I and that’s something that you just can’t handle.
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Odin Balfore an I will become your new Suicidal Champion. Not because I politic but because there ain’t a damn soul that’s going to stop me from decimating poor little Michal Callahan in that ring and leaving him the one true, wounded warrior. Saturday, Odin Balfore is going to ruin you.
For your fate comes at Ragnarok and my victory follows in its wake.
* Odin walks up to his classic Mustang an opens the door. *
So I have spoken, so it shall come to pass.
* Odin gets in the car, starts it up and speeds off. *
~FINN
