Post by Reaver on Mar 17, 2012 23:04:38 GMT -4
The scene fades in as Knuckles is in a Barns-n-Noble bookstore; looking for something that will help his “old friend” out with his situation. He browses through the food network section in hopes of finding that special recipe book that he could give to his nemesis, to help him with his new found, “love for food”. He passes by books from Giada De Lorentiis, Rachael Ray, Alton Brown, Bobby Flay but can’t seem to find anything that he likes. Finally, after an hour of searching, Knuckles was able to find the PERFECT book for his friend…….
Knuckles smiles and heads towards the counter to pay for his item, but the lady behind the register sees the book and gives him a weird look. Knuckles stands there, looking innocent, as this lady continues to look at him funny. She looks down, sighs, and scans it for the price.
Knuckles: What?
Lady: Huh? Oh, I didn’t say anything…..
Knuckles: Ya’ didn’t have to. Ya’ gave me this look like I’m some sort of perv.
Lady: Well……um, my apologies sir.
Knuckles: Damn right! This book aint’ for me.
Lady: …….Boyfriend maybe?
Knuckles: I’m buyin’ this to piss somebody off.
Lady: Whatever you say sir……
Knuckles: ……..DON’T JUDGE ME! I should smack the shit outta’ you with this.
Knuckles motions to smack her with the book making her flinch but Knuckles holds back and just makes his way out of the store. Just as he steps out, he is almost hit by a pure white Cadillac convertible by two idiots who hop a curb but stopping in front of him. Not your average idiots though. The guy driving is named Raoul Duke, he’s a journalist currently doing an article for Rolling Stone Magazine and the passenger next to him is a Samoan Civil Rights lawyer named Dr. Gonzo. They both seem to be eccentric hedonists who happen to be dressed for tropical weather. (don’t ask me why….)
Knuckles: What the fuck! Where’d you assholes learn how to park? Ya’ can’t park here.
Raoul: Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
Knuckles: It’s a fuckin’ sidewalk…….
Dr. Gonzo: Hey man, you Knuckles?
Knuckles: Who wants to know?
Raoul: An old friend of yours sent us to come find you. Remember a guy by the name of Joey Numbers?
Knuckles: Down by the docks right?
Dr. Gonzo: He sent us to help you find some sort of “Holy Grail” or something. Let’s give the man a lift.
Raoul: What? No. We can't stop here…….This is bat country.
Just as he says that, a mother with two kids comes walking out of the bookstore, ironically wearing Batman costumes. The sight of this makes Raoul flinch and jerk backwards.
Raoul: I’m a bit light headed. Maybe you should drive….
Raoul: Holy Jesus, what are these goddamn animals?
Raoul swats at the air.
Raoul: Huh! Huh! Huh!......Fucking pigs.
Dr. Gonzo: Did you say something?
Raoul: Hmm? Never mind, it’s your turn to drive.
Knuckles: Who the fuck ya’ talkin’ to?
Raoul: Huh? What?
Knuckles: You’re narratin’. I just heard every single thing ya’ just said.
Raoul grabs a fly swatter out of the trunk and hops in the passenger seat. Knuckles just stares at them very reluctant to join them. Why would anybody join these weirdo’s? Just then, Dr. Gonzo and Raoul Duke are blinded by a beam of light coming down from the sky. They stare it at in amazement as Knuckles looks at them with confusion. The light disappears but a strange man in a very long white beard wearing a dark robe comes up from behind them.
Knuckles: Where the fuck did YOU come from?
Man: JOHN….JOHN…..HEY KNUCKLEHEAD!!
Dr. Gonzo and Raoul think that this strange man is GOD and hop out of the car and drop to their knees in forgiveness.
Man: Oh don’t grovel! One thing I can’t stand is people groveling.
Dr. Gonzo: Sorry man….
Man: ….And don’t apologize! Every time I try to talk to someone it’s “sorry this” and “forgive me that” and “I’m not worthy”. What are you doing now?
Dr. Gonzo and Raoul look away in fear that their lives may be taken away at a moment’s notice as Knuckles stands there face palming himself.
Raoul: Averting our eyes…..
Man: Well don’t! It’s like those miserable solemn’s their SOOOOO depressing. Now Johnny Knuckles! You and these two shall have a task to make you all an example in these dark times.
Raoul: Good idea! I’ll bring the ether….
Knuckles: You can’t be serious. What makes ya’ think it’s a good idea?
Man: Of course it’s a good idea! John; behold!
The strange man holds up a picture of Jason Kash with the APW World Heavyweight Championship.
Knuckles: That’s Kash. So what?
Man: This is your HOLY GRAIL! Look well for it is your sacred task to beat Jason Kash and become the new APW World heavyweight Champion. THAT is your task John. And these two can help you on your journey to achieving it.
Knuckles: How? By following a pair of drugged up morons? Kash doesn’t even TOUCH the stuff these guys do. He sticks to weed.
Dr. Gonzo: A blessing, a blessing from the lord!
Knuckles: SHUT UP!!
Raoul: You better take care of me, Lord. If you don't you're gonna’ have me on your hands.
Knuckles: ……….*sigh*. I guess I don’t have much of a choice. At least I can study the pattern of bein’ high without being high myself.
Dr. Gonzo: As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit. You won't need much, just a tiny taste.
Knuckles: *shakes his head* Drive…..just drive…..
They all pile into the Cadillac and they start to drive off. Knuckles looks back and notices the man wasn't standing there anymore. He probably went to go eat out of a dumpster some where or something....i dunno'.
Knuckles: Ok; so do you idiots know where we’re headed first?
Dr. Gonzo: As your attorney, I advise you to drive at top speed, it'll be a god damn miracle if we can get there before you turn into a wild animal.
Raoul: *waving a flyswatter behind Gonzo's head* Pig fucker, pig fucker, pig fucker, pig fucker, pig fucker, pig fucker, pig fucker!
Dr. Gonzo: *oblivious* Are you ready for that? Checking into an Indiana hotel under a phony name with intent to commit capital fraud and a head full of acid? I sure hope so.
Knuckles: YES I HEARD YOU!! You’re doin’ it again. STOP NARRATING!! Oh, and if ya’ think for ONE second that I won’t castrate you fuckers if ya’ try to fuck me over than your wrong.
Raoul imagines himself in an open court room.
Duke Groans
Judge: They gave you what?
Woman: L.S.D.
Judge: Castration! Double castration![/center][/i][/color]
Raoul shakes his head and is suddenly back in the car.
Raoul: Head South…..I have an idea.
Knuckles: What the fuck ever……
Knuckles seems disgusted with these two but if it helps him train for Jason Kash, then so be it. He crosses his arms as the car fades away into the sun set and the scene fades.
Knuckles: So it’s finally come down to this eh Jason? It’s good to see that ya’ found a hobby other than smokin’ weed and masturbating. But I guess my present to ya’ will help ya’ out with that too huh? HA! It’s been way too long Kash you’re right. This is our last time that we will be headlining APW against each other and how exciting it is that not only is it on the biggest event of the year but for the biggest prize of the company. No, neither of us is leaving, but it seems right to me. Ya’ see, I can’t live in the past and still have a future. I gave myself ONE more chance to show myself and the world that I CAN beat you. None of this bullshit where I pin another guy to take your title away like I did back in RWF. This is the top spot on the biggest show and there aint’ no place bigger Jason.
It really is nice to see that ya’ aint’ takin’ a back seat to people, especially since ya’ finally got rid of that crutch ya’ called a manager; Adora Bailey. For Christ sakes man, she was suckin’ some dude off in YOUR locker room. It sucks but at least it took her; smokin’ somebody else’s “bong”, for you to finally realize the true nature of people when ya’ care. I FINALLY get Jason Kash at 100%. I laughed my ass off too when ya’ hired Arcadia to beat her ass for ya’. You remember Katrina right? She was the same Suicidal Champion who I pinned right before Survive and Conquer.
Jason, I wanted to give myself just one more chance to beat you and the only way I could was to win Survive and Conquer. Now I didn’t win but I sure as hell came close. Can you honestly say that you can beat the hell outta’ 82 other people and last as long as I did? NO! I would have won that match seein’ as how I had Allioth Starre laid the fuck out and almost out of the cage but Azrael Goeren had to stick his nose in my business and I couldn’t escape in time. Regardless Kash, I still shoved my size 13’s up Starre’s ass not once but twice since. That’s not a feat that the almighty Jason Kash could accomplish himself. The look on your eyes though…..it was worth it when I was named number one contender right in your face. What was it like knowing that we would face each other one more time on the biggest stage of them all hmm?
You can lay claims all day as to what happened in TCW, RWF, even UWF but I could care less. Did ya’ forget how it was I who was undefeated in UWF as the Hardcore Champion? How you couldn’t even beat a man who I also beat twice? The past is over with Jason and I look forward to Indiana where I walk away with my head held high knowing that I finally pinned Jason Kash and became the new APW World Heavyweight Champion. I’ve survived in areas of interest where you couldn’t. I outlasted 82 people to EARN this spot, I beat the living hell out of the man who won Survive and Conquer TWICE to EARN this spot, I’m willing to sacrifice everythin’ I got and prove to EVERYBODY that I EARNED this spot at Rasslemania. Still think it was handed to me? Still feel I haven’t survived yet?
I love how you can throw out names of people I couldn’t beat but these are the same people YOU WERE TOO AFRAID TO FACE! Where’s the victory under your belt with their name on it huh Kash? One way or another, I WILL survive at Rasslemania. Not because I want to, but because I HAVE to, I NEED to. If I don’t then I can say that I gave it my all. But one way or another, I will leave with no regrets. What would happen if YOU can’t survive huh Jason? What do you win out of all this? Another reason to say that you beat Johnny Knuckles? Ya’ did that already….countless times. Nobody would really give a shit at that point. But what if Jason? Just what if ya’ lost? What would happen to you? I would have completed a huge milestone I’ve searched for; for over 6 years. But there’s nothing in it for you now is there? Just the chance to say that you were successful in defending the title on the grandest stage of them all, but who would honestly care?
This match means the WORLD to me Jason. It’s my livelihood, my bread n’ butter so to speak. Over the past few months, I’ve fought tooth and nail to get this spot, how dare you stand there and tell me that it was handed to me. Over the same few months, you’ve done nothin’ but fail at every turn. Rasslemania will be no different. This match, this win over you means so much more to me than anything else. Hell, I might even be willing to throw the title back at ya’ after I pin you because that one pinfall victory means that much more. Would I really give it back? HELL NO!! but ya’ see my point right?
If anything Jason, I owe you. I owe you my career. Ever since TCW, the only reason I had to live was the chance I might get to finally pin you….to finally beat you. If it wasn’t for my lust of competition, I might not have a career. It was you who made me who I am and for that I say; THANK YOU! It will all finally culminate at Rasslemania, on APW’s grandest stage of them all when I finally get the chance to beat the one man who I have YET to beat. Just remember that when you’re layin’ on your back staring up at the lights. Just remember that after I beat you and become the new World Heavyweight Champion……it was all thanks to Jason Kash.
Knuckles smiles and heads towards the counter to pay for his item, but the lady behind the register sees the book and gives him a weird look. Knuckles stands there, looking innocent, as this lady continues to look at him funny. She looks down, sighs, and scans it for the price.
Knuckles: What?
Lady: Huh? Oh, I didn’t say anything…..
Knuckles: Ya’ didn’t have to. Ya’ gave me this look like I’m some sort of perv.
Lady: Well……um, my apologies sir.
Knuckles: Damn right! This book aint’ for me.
Lady: …….Boyfriend maybe?
Knuckles: I’m buyin’ this to piss somebody off.
Lady: Whatever you say sir……
Knuckles: ……..DON’T JUDGE ME! I should smack the shit outta’ you with this.
Knuckles motions to smack her with the book making her flinch but Knuckles holds back and just makes his way out of the store. Just as he steps out, he is almost hit by a pure white Cadillac convertible by two idiots who hop a curb but stopping in front of him. Not your average idiots though. The guy driving is named Raoul Duke, he’s a journalist currently doing an article for Rolling Stone Magazine and the passenger next to him is a Samoan Civil Rights lawyer named Dr. Gonzo. They both seem to be eccentric hedonists who happen to be dressed for tropical weather. (don’t ask me why….)
Knuckles: What the fuck! Where’d you assholes learn how to park? Ya’ can’t park here.
Raoul: Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?
Knuckles: It’s a fuckin’ sidewalk…….
Dr. Gonzo: Hey man, you Knuckles?
Knuckles: Who wants to know?
Raoul: An old friend of yours sent us to come find you. Remember a guy by the name of Joey Numbers?
Knuckles: Down by the docks right?
Dr. Gonzo: He sent us to help you find some sort of “Holy Grail” or something. Let’s give the man a lift.
Raoul: What? No. We can't stop here…….This is bat country.
Just as he says that, a mother with two kids comes walking out of the bookstore, ironically wearing Batman costumes. The sight of this makes Raoul flinch and jerk backwards.
Raoul: I’m a bit light headed. Maybe you should drive….
(Raoul’s narration: Suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us, and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, and a voice was screaming.)
Raoul: Holy Jesus, what are these goddamn animals?
Raoul swats at the air.
Raoul: Huh! Huh! Huh!......Fucking pigs.
Dr. Gonzo: Did you say something?
Raoul: Hmm? Never mind, it’s your turn to drive.
(Raoul’s narration: No point in mentioning these bats, I thought. Poor bastard will see them soon enough.)
Knuckles: Who the fuck ya’ talkin’ to?
Raoul: Huh? What?
Knuckles: You’re narratin’. I just heard every single thing ya’ just said.
Raoul grabs a fly swatter out of the trunk and hops in the passenger seat. Knuckles just stares at them very reluctant to join them. Why would anybody join these weirdo’s? Just then, Dr. Gonzo and Raoul Duke are blinded by a beam of light coming down from the sky. They stare it at in amazement as Knuckles looks at them with confusion. The light disappears but a strange man in a very long white beard wearing a dark robe comes up from behind them.
Knuckles: Where the fuck did YOU come from?
Man: JOHN….JOHN…..HEY KNUCKLEHEAD!!
Dr. Gonzo and Raoul think that this strange man is GOD and hop out of the car and drop to their knees in forgiveness.
Man: Oh don’t grovel! One thing I can’t stand is people groveling.
Dr. Gonzo: Sorry man….
Man: ….And don’t apologize! Every time I try to talk to someone it’s “sorry this” and “forgive me that” and “I’m not worthy”. What are you doing now?
Dr. Gonzo and Raoul look away in fear that their lives may be taken away at a moment’s notice as Knuckles stands there face palming himself.
Raoul: Averting our eyes…..
Man: Well don’t! It’s like those miserable solemn’s their SOOOOO depressing. Now Johnny Knuckles! You and these two shall have a task to make you all an example in these dark times.
Raoul: Good idea! I’ll bring the ether….
Knuckles: You can’t be serious. What makes ya’ think it’s a good idea?
Man: Of course it’s a good idea! John; behold!
The strange man holds up a picture of Jason Kash with the APW World Heavyweight Championship.
Knuckles: That’s Kash. So what?
Man: This is your HOLY GRAIL! Look well for it is your sacred task to beat Jason Kash and become the new APW World heavyweight Champion. THAT is your task John. And these two can help you on your journey to achieving it.
Knuckles: How? By following a pair of drugged up morons? Kash doesn’t even TOUCH the stuff these guys do. He sticks to weed.
Dr. Gonzo: A blessing, a blessing from the lord!
Knuckles: SHUT UP!!
Raoul: You better take care of me, Lord. If you don't you're gonna’ have me on your hands.
Knuckles: ……….*sigh*. I guess I don’t have much of a choice. At least I can study the pattern of bein’ high without being high myself.
Dr. Gonzo: As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit. You won't need much, just a tiny taste.
Knuckles: *shakes his head* Drive…..just drive…..
They all pile into the Cadillac and they start to drive off. Knuckles looks back and notices the man wasn't standing there anymore. He probably went to go eat out of a dumpster some where or something....i dunno'.
Knuckles: Ok; so do you idiots know where we’re headed first?
Dr. Gonzo: As your attorney, I advise you to drive at top speed, it'll be a god damn miracle if we can get there before you turn into a wild animal.
Raoul: *waving a flyswatter behind Gonzo's head* Pig fucker, pig fucker, pig fucker, pig fucker, pig fucker, pig fucker, pig fucker!
Dr. Gonzo: *oblivious* Are you ready for that? Checking into an Indiana hotel under a phony name with intent to commit capital fraud and a head full of acid? I sure hope so.
(Raoul’s narration: How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this contender? What will he think then? This same lonely highway was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?)
Knuckles: YES I HEARD YOU!! You’re doin’ it again. STOP NARRATING!! Oh, and if ya’ think for ONE second that I won’t castrate you fuckers if ya’ try to fuck me over than your wrong.
Raoul imagines himself in an open court room.
(Raoul’s imagination:
Woman: Those two men in the dock they gave me the LSD and they took me to the hotel. I don't know what they done to me, but I remember it was horrible.
Woman: Those two men in the dock they gave me the LSD and they took me to the hotel. I don't know what they done to me, but I remember it was horrible.
Duke Groans
Judge: They gave you what?
Woman: L.S.D.
Judge: Castration! Double castration![/center][/i][/color]
Raoul shakes his head and is suddenly back in the car.
Raoul: Head South…..I have an idea.
Knuckles: What the fuck ever……
Knuckles seems disgusted with these two but if it helps him train for Jason Kash, then so be it. He crosses his arms as the car fades away into the sun set and the scene fades.
Knuckles: So it’s finally come down to this eh Jason? It’s good to see that ya’ found a hobby other than smokin’ weed and masturbating. But I guess my present to ya’ will help ya’ out with that too huh? HA! It’s been way too long Kash you’re right. This is our last time that we will be headlining APW against each other and how exciting it is that not only is it on the biggest event of the year but for the biggest prize of the company. No, neither of us is leaving, but it seems right to me. Ya’ see, I can’t live in the past and still have a future. I gave myself ONE more chance to show myself and the world that I CAN beat you. None of this bullshit where I pin another guy to take your title away like I did back in RWF. This is the top spot on the biggest show and there aint’ no place bigger Jason.
It really is nice to see that ya’ aint’ takin’ a back seat to people, especially since ya’ finally got rid of that crutch ya’ called a manager; Adora Bailey. For Christ sakes man, she was suckin’ some dude off in YOUR locker room. It sucks but at least it took her; smokin’ somebody else’s “bong”, for you to finally realize the true nature of people when ya’ care. I FINALLY get Jason Kash at 100%. I laughed my ass off too when ya’ hired Arcadia to beat her ass for ya’. You remember Katrina right? She was the same Suicidal Champion who I pinned right before Survive and Conquer.
Jason, I wanted to give myself just one more chance to beat you and the only way I could was to win Survive and Conquer. Now I didn’t win but I sure as hell came close. Can you honestly say that you can beat the hell outta’ 82 other people and last as long as I did? NO! I would have won that match seein’ as how I had Allioth Starre laid the fuck out and almost out of the cage but Azrael Goeren had to stick his nose in my business and I couldn’t escape in time. Regardless Kash, I still shoved my size 13’s up Starre’s ass not once but twice since. That’s not a feat that the almighty Jason Kash could accomplish himself. The look on your eyes though…..it was worth it when I was named number one contender right in your face. What was it like knowing that we would face each other one more time on the biggest stage of them all hmm?
You can lay claims all day as to what happened in TCW, RWF, even UWF but I could care less. Did ya’ forget how it was I who was undefeated in UWF as the Hardcore Champion? How you couldn’t even beat a man who I also beat twice? The past is over with Jason and I look forward to Indiana where I walk away with my head held high knowing that I finally pinned Jason Kash and became the new APW World Heavyweight Champion. I’ve survived in areas of interest where you couldn’t. I outlasted 82 people to EARN this spot, I beat the living hell out of the man who won Survive and Conquer TWICE to EARN this spot, I’m willing to sacrifice everythin’ I got and prove to EVERYBODY that I EARNED this spot at Rasslemania. Still think it was handed to me? Still feel I haven’t survived yet?
I love how you can throw out names of people I couldn’t beat but these are the same people YOU WERE TOO AFRAID TO FACE! Where’s the victory under your belt with their name on it huh Kash? One way or another, I WILL survive at Rasslemania. Not because I want to, but because I HAVE to, I NEED to. If I don’t then I can say that I gave it my all. But one way or another, I will leave with no regrets. What would happen if YOU can’t survive huh Jason? What do you win out of all this? Another reason to say that you beat Johnny Knuckles? Ya’ did that already….countless times. Nobody would really give a shit at that point. But what if Jason? Just what if ya’ lost? What would happen to you? I would have completed a huge milestone I’ve searched for; for over 6 years. But there’s nothing in it for you now is there? Just the chance to say that you were successful in defending the title on the grandest stage of them all, but who would honestly care?
This match means the WORLD to me Jason. It’s my livelihood, my bread n’ butter so to speak. Over the past few months, I’ve fought tooth and nail to get this spot, how dare you stand there and tell me that it was handed to me. Over the same few months, you’ve done nothin’ but fail at every turn. Rasslemania will be no different. This match, this win over you means so much more to me than anything else. Hell, I might even be willing to throw the title back at ya’ after I pin you because that one pinfall victory means that much more. Would I really give it back? HELL NO!! but ya’ see my point right?
If anything Jason, I owe you. I owe you my career. Ever since TCW, the only reason I had to live was the chance I might get to finally pin you….to finally beat you. If it wasn’t for my lust of competition, I might not have a career. It was you who made me who I am and for that I say; THANK YOU! It will all finally culminate at Rasslemania, on APW’s grandest stage of them all when I finally get the chance to beat the one man who I have YET to beat. Just remember that when you’re layin’ on your back staring up at the lights. Just remember that after I beat you and become the new World Heavyweight Champion……it was all thanks to Jason Kash.
