Lead Astray

[Michael Callahan]

-THUGSHADOW55 has joined your Xbox Live Party-

ThugShadow55: What do you want, Callahan?

WRepresentative: Well if it isn't my favourite English chum, ThugShadow55. Craig, how would you like to see Rasslemania with the best seat in the house?

ThugShadow55: What seat would that be?

WRepresentative: In my corner, as my manager. Yes, I'm deadly serious buddy. You and me, against Chris McKenzie. You're the only person I feel I can trust.

ThugShadow55: And risk getting put in a coma like your Chinese mate did? Fuck off Callahan you rat.

-THUGSHADOW55 has left your Xbox Live Party-

WRepresentative: Damn...

-WRepresentative has left the Xbox Live Party-

---

We cut away from the thrilling Xbox Live conversation that took place in Kelso, Washington and flash forward to night time in College Station, Texas where our hero Michael Callahan stands silently on the edge of the roof of the town medical centre. Looking down at the almost deserted parking lot emphasises the great height at his feet. Callahan quietly relishes the moments solace where he truly gets to enjoy the feeling of how isolated and alone he is perching atop the peak like an eagle. He feels as free as a bird as his thoughts run rampant in his mind. His train of thought enters the station of pondering whether anyone would notice if he were suddenly to fall from the ledge and tumble four stories to his death. It causes a shudder just thinking about it and he quickly shakes the Satanic thoughts free from his mind as the Suicidal Championship seem to be affecting his mindset.

It's three o'clock in the morning and there's a chilly breeze swirling around an unflinching Callahan who's limited vision is granted to him by the dim street lights below. A heavy shower of rain streaks away at the colour of his suit turning him a slightly darker shade of gray. After an hour of being stood atop the roof for fresh air in abject silence his usually pristine hair is now matted and clinging to the side of his face. The tears of the clouds streak down his fixated eyes like a downsized waterfall as he transcends into monologue.

Michael Callahan: There's people out there that say that it's in the darkest hours of existence where you find out how truly strong you are. That when all hope is gone and it seems like nothing you can do will turn the tide of destiny that you find the strength and resolve within to pull through and defy expectations. It is also indicative of the sacrifice you're willing to make, no matter how ultimate to achieve your dreams. It is on that fine line, that mirrors edge where I stand. On one side of the glass you have the first giant step towards the creation of my legacy, on the other you have abject failure and a set-back of which man may not even recover. Failure is no longer an option.

You can question his in-ring tactics, you can question the way in which he bullies people to get his cause and you can question the way he carries himself around like the biggest dickload ever but his dedication to his craft is not problematic. There's no budging on his motivation.

Michael Callahan: It was only two months ago that I set foot in this company as a total underdog. Not a single person wanted to know me nor thought I had any longevity in this company. People laughed at me when they said they were putting this greener than grass conservative in a match for the “Suicidal Championship” with the likes of bruisers like Arcadia and Odin Balfore, not to mention the presence of veteran Phil Atken and the ever dangerous Manhattan White. I was a punchline, someone who they thought would collect his pay cheque and be satisfied going empty handed. To make a walk of shame back home to Kelso with my tail tucked between my legs. Guess who had the last laugh?

Rhetorical question, but the answer is Callahan. He came into APW a total unknown and exited as the first man ever to win a championship in his debut match. It's a feat second to none in the company and one that won't be repeated any time soon.

Michael Callahan: When I came to APW I came swinging and it paid off big time. I won the championship in my first match and suddenly, I wasn't a joke anymore. People who laughed at my thin athletic build or my idea for a “Pro Life Championship” quickly started taking notice. I became even more prominent when I declared a one man war on corruption in wrestling and started taking down opponent after opponent with my patented Victory Lock, showing everyone just exactly what it was I was capable of. Anyone who thought of me as a joke and had the nerve to face me was proven wrong. The only smudge on my record is because of a tag team partner, Julius Farquhar who's curtain jerking with another man I beat, Phil Atken and even with that one loss I'm still unpinned, never to submit. Those bruisers that people thought would crush me? Where have they gone now? I don't see Arcadia, Odin Balfore or Manhattan White on the card and Atken is basically a non-entity. Where I shone, others burnt out. I rose where they fell.

Everything he says is sadly true. Regardless of how he got to his position he's played the game well. A loud crack and a streak of bright white light plants itself into an oak tree some several miles, the sound of lightning adding a dramatic point to his words.

Michael Callahan: One man however seeks to throw my legacy into jeopardy, a man known simply as “The Virus”. He's a reprehensible, disgusting human being who's actions know no restraints or remorse but sheer malice. This man was selected as a test of my willpower and my faith in God and of my commitment to my cause and he put man through his ultimate test of will. Right now, a floor below us is my good friend Steve Fukuyama. A man who's dangerous close to deaths door because he made a sacrifice for me like no other man could've, taking a Comatose State through a table to ensure my survival and ultimately ending up in a coma. I've been sat with him praying for the past two weeks but only action now will redeem his sacrifice, I must beat Chris McKenzie. I HAVE to. If not for Steve, then for the Traditional Restoration Initiative which he gave his consciousness to help preserve.

Suddenly the fire escape door bursts open and out storms a flustered Vikki Lahm trying desperately to catch her breath from her run upstairs. There's a bright strawberry red in her cheeks as she huffs and wheezes trying to suck in enough oxygen to relay her message to the American Hero.

Vikki Lahm: Quick, QUICK. Michael... Steve's... -huff- AWAKE.

Michael Callahan: YEEEE! GIT CRUNK!

Callahan jumps into action with an exaggerated gangster holler, practically spearing Vikki down the stairs as he throws her up for a firemans lift and charges down the stairs to the ward like a fireman out of a burning building. Callahan quickly navigates his way back to Fukuyama's ward and charges into the room damn near falling on his ass when he hits the brakes on the recently polished floor. With a nurse at his bedside Steve Fukuyama is very groggy and dazed but nonetheless he's awake and the sight of him sat up brings Callahan almost to tears with joy. Fukuyama can just about make the figure of his employer out in the distance.

Steve Fukuyama: Callahan... is that you?

Michael Callahan: Yes Steve, it's me. I'm here.

Steve Fukuyama: Yeah... I-...

Michael Callahan: Nurse, will he be fit to work by the 25th?

Nurse Giovanni: I don't know. I mean he's just come out of a coma, he needs a lot of rest and-

Turning to face Fukuyama, Calahan redirects his question at someone that might not actually say no.

Michael Callahan: Are you fit for work in a week and a half, Steve?

Steve Fukuyama: Uhh... I don't k-

Callahan shoots Fukuyama a furious glare which is recognisable even through Fukuyama's hazy eyes.

Steve Fukuyama: I mean sure, sure, yeah. Of course I-

Michael Callahan: Excellent, Steve. I'm glad we've come to an agreement.

Nurse Giovanni: *under her breath* Disgusting human being...

Steve Fukuyama: What happened? How did I get here?

Michael Callahan: You did an an honourable thing and took a slam through a table which was meant for me. You're officially hero of the day. Now I get to go avenge you by beating Chris McKenzie. Shall we go get cheeseburgers?

Nurse Giovanni: Mr. Asahara is very ill. He has just come out of a coma. We can't let him leave until we've done tests to find the extent of the damage.

Callahan first gives Giovanni his look of death and then turns to Fukuyama with a big goofy grin on his face while mouthing “Cheeseburgers...” at him. Steve's grin is equally as ridiculous.

Steve Fukuyama: I am hungry... can Mr. Callahan bring me something to eat?

Nurse Giovanni: I guess so... I-

Once again Callahan turns and stares, presenting a twenty dollar bill to his assistant Vikki Lahm who quickly makes herself scarce to go get food.

---

-Dial tone. Michael Callahan is attempting to ring his father, John Callahan for the first time in a velong time.-

Michael Callahan: Dad?

John Callahan: Michael?

Michael Callahan: How's things in the plumbing industry?

John Callahan: They're good. How's wrestling and politics, college boy?

Michael Callahan: Pretty good actually. I'll be coming for dinner on Thursday like I promised.

John Callahan: Oh yeah?

Michael Callahan: Yeah. Anyway, I was wondering, I need a new boiler. My current one is getting real old soon. Any chance I can get family discount on a new one?

John Callahan: Sure, I'll send someone out tomorrow.

Michael Callahan: Wait, send someone out? What? You're a one man business, dad.

John Callahan: Not any more son. It really has been too long hasn't it? I joined a company after you left for college, the lone wolf strategy wasn't working for me. Best thing I ever did. I'm now co-owner and business partner in Callahan & Dudley's Plumbing Works.

Michael Callahan: Well gee... congratulations dad. Man this is awkward.

John Callahan: I'll see you on dinner at Thursday.

Michael Callahan: Bye.

-Both hang up. Is Callahan isolated from everybody?-

---

Back in Kelso, Washington after the surprise awakening of Steve Fukuyama we return now to the living room of Callahan's country home that he affectionately refers to as “Camp Callahan”. Sprawled lazily out on the couch watching a little TV in sweat pants and a t-shirt, Michael enjoys the perfect cool down after a hard shift at the gym with a glass of ice cold grape juice. For the first time in ever, Michael Callahan's unseen, unnamed fiancé Bethany Monroe walks in wearing a white tank top and navy blue Adidas sweatpants. Her golden locks are tied back in a ponytail and while Callahan looks like he's already had his workout, Bethany looks like she's just about to start hers. Why wouldn't Callahan, an athlete train his own partner? It takes Callahan a moment or two to notice that his bride to be is in the room but when he does he gives her a casual look of disdain.

Michael Callahan: Hey.

Bethany Monroe: Hi Michael. I'm going the gym soon.

Michael Callahan: I can see that. Say, actually...

Callahan sits up and invites Bethany to sit down next to him, patting the couch cushion down for her. She eases into place next to her and he slinks an arm around awkwardly. Callahan may be socially blind to the point of autism (or blissfully ignorant) but even now he's come to realise that his relationship is breaking down. Back in his teens he and Bethany would go hiking and hunting in Silver Lake, but now? Nothing.

Michael Callahan: Listen, I was wondering if you'd like to come with me to Indianapolis for my big match at Rasslemania.

Bethany Monroe: Really?

Michael Callahan: Sure, I'd love for you to be there. Really. It's been so long since we did anything together and for me, this is the biggest moment of my wrestling career. It'd be a damn shame if the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with isn't there. We'll fly out there on the 24th and then on the 25th we'll-

Bethany Monroe: Stop right there. What date?

Michael Callahan: Well the show is on the 25th but I thought we could go out on the day-

Bethany Monroe: You thought wrong. What's happening on the 25th?

Michael Callahan: I knew that was coming. I figured after the show we could go hit one of the classiest restaurants in town for an anniversary dinner and-

Bethany Monroe: No, you ass. Our anniversary is in October. My mother's funeral is on the 25th.

Michael Callahan: What?! Why didn't you tell me?

Bethany Monroe: I did, several times! And then when I tried to grieve with you you started talking about immigration figures and Sarah Palin's new TV show. Do you ever listen to me? You ass.

Bethany storms off in a huff almost wrenching Callahan's arm off as she frees herself from his “claw” arm.

Michael Callahan: That kind of language isn't appreciated in my home!

The American Hero would bother to chase after he but it's his favourite episode of Futurama, the one where Bender goes to Robot Hell so he lets her storm out the house. Little does he know the effect that it's going to have. As planned on the 24th after an entire week of saying next to nothing to his future wife he makes his planned flight to Indianapolis but as soon and no sooner has he taken the cab to the airport his wife gets on the cell phone and starts punching in some digits for a very special call.

---

-Dial tone before Bethany Monroe picks up the phone to her personal fitness instructor, Dominic Ochoa.-
Dominic Ochoa: Oye mami...
Bethany Monroe: You're not supposed to call the home line...
Dominic Ochoa: Your cell is switched off.
Bethany Monroe: You're a bad, bad boy. You know that, Dominic?
Dominic Ochoa: Oh dios mio mami.... when are you next coming for my big workout?
Bethany Monroe: I'm not. You're coming here for a house call sexy man. Pronto.
Dominic Ochoa: Isn't your bigot husband suspicious of me?
Bethany Monroe: Fiancé. He's out of town. You've got me to yourself alllllll week big boy...
Dominic Ochoa: Be there in ten...
-Both hang up casting considerable doubt on Bethany's fidelity.-