Fear and Loathing for the Holy Grail!! (Part 2)

[Reaver]

The scene fades in on a very shady hotel room. A closer look reveals that this room was torn apart by some sort of party. One bed is flipped over with the blankets and a body are hanging off on the floor, one bed is missing a mattress which happens to be leaning up against the wall on the other side of the room. There are room service bills taped to a mirror that also happens to be the backboard of a dresser near the door, and enough of them to fill half of the mirror. There’s left over food, jerky and empty plates all over the room as well as waiter carts filling in some of the empty spaces and some of them even tipped over on its side as to not be able to walk from one end of the room to the other. (HA, I still snuck it in.) It’s safe to say that this room is completely trashed. A body is seen moving about underneath the clutter and filth, apparently they passed out on the floor. They stand up and it’s non-other than Johnny Knuckles holding his head in pain as the room seems to be spinning to him.

Knuckles: …..ohhhh man, the fuck happened? And why the hell does half of everythin’ look like it’s in black and white?

Knuckles sloshes his way through the rubble and makes his way to the mirror by the door. He looks over and sees Raoul Duke hanging off the bed like a man with sleep apnea while Dr. Gonzo decided to sleep in the tub. (I guess he wanted a waterbed?) Knuckles takes a look at the mirror full of room service bills and doesn’t remember ordering or eating any of it. (except maybe the jerky?) He tries to look at himself in the mirror but can’t stop wobbling back and forth. He tries to stand himself still but as he does, he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror with some sort of snake-like distortion. He doesn’t even recognize himself. He looks around the room to see if maybe it’s just him and notices an open bottle of something tipped over and hanging out. He rubs his face and looks at the mirror again only to find a giant PENIS drawn on the side of his face in permanent marker.

Knuckles: YA’ KIDDIN’ ME?! Yous’ can’t be serious……I don’t even remember takin’ any acid last night. All I remember is Gonzo goin’ on about white rabbits and Raoul talkin’ about the evils of elevators. Now I have this huge DICK on my face!?

(Raoul: No! Fuck! Don't go near the elevator, man, that's just what they want us to do. Trap us in a steel box, take us down to the basement. They'd like any excuse to shoot us.)

Knuckles:….Now I hear that fuck-tard narratin’ again, and he aint’ even awake. SHUT UP!!

Knuckles hears a rustling coming from the other side of the room. Raoul starts to wake up but immediately falls back asleep; completely falling on the floor. Knuckles realizes that he won’t make it to Rasslemania if he stays and decides to leave the hotel room. He makes his way down the hall way with traces of sweat beading down his face and wobbling from one side of the hall to the next. Eventually he makes his way down the stairs because an elevator would be too dangerous. Knuckles figures that if this stuff is almost worn off, then maybe lunch outside on the patio would help him relax. He heads outside where a waiter brings him to a table and hands him a menu.

Knuckles: *taking deep breaths* Ya’ sell Donkey Punch here?

Waiter: Certainly, coming right up….

What’s funny is that Knuckles didn’t say he wanted it, but asked if it was available. He shrugs his shoulders and goes with it anyways. A few moments pass as the waiter returns with his drink and a letter.

Waiter: Here you go sir, and this came for you. John Sorrentino right?

Knuckles: Ya’, that’s me. But who knows I’m here?

(Knuckles: Seriously, who would know that I’m here? Wait….am I narratin’? WHAT THE FUCK! AHHHHHHHHHHH!)

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Waiter: I don’t know sir. Have you decided on anything yet?

Knuckles: No, gimme’ a few. You’re a waiter right? SO WAIT!!

Waiter:…..but sir, did you know that there’s a penis drawn on your face?

Knuckles: Oh shit......GO AWAY!![/color]

The waiter walks away slightly confused.

Knuckles: No Jason, this is not a joke. We’ve known each other for a long time but I never quite…..understood, where ya’ really came from. I needed to see, nay, experience for myself; what it was like to be dazed and confused. Granted, you never gone this far but goin’ overboard has always been my style or did ya’ forget? Based on your reaction, I’ve already won. Ya’ think this is a joke for me? I’m killin’ myself like this for laughs? FUCK THE PEOPLE AND THEIR LAUGHTER! I do what I do to take arrogant pricks like you off their game, and it’s obviously worked. Even as I speak, ya’ stand there tryin’ to compensate for this match by hurtin’ yourself, and makin’ yourself bleed. Am I supposed to be impressed with your actions? NOW who isn’t takin’ this seriously hmm? There’s an old military sayin’ Kash, “We break you down to build you back up.” This is a technique I’ve done to myself my whole career, not somethin’ anybody could say about yours. You see it as a joke, I see it as an opportunity to build myself back up in a new style.

It’s this reason, I’m a TRUE survivor. It’s what you’ve known this whole time in both of our careers, but was never spoken out loud til’ recently. Why did I change it? Maybe it’s cuz’ I’m not willin’ to blow smoke up your ass Jason. I don’t have to. You know what I would do in certain situations and could anticipate a move. You know what I’m thinkin’ before I start pushing forward with that same idea. It’s these reasons that I’m no longer innovative or unpredictable. I’ll stick with what works and HAS worked since the day we met. You may have pinned me a million times, but I always seemed to get back up and come back for more. Ya’ said it yourself, I’m a glutton for punishment, and it’s this reason that will propel me, to fuel my desire to beat you.

Why don’t you just face facts, since you can’t get them straight either, you can’t get the job done. I’ve always bounced back, I’ve always found myself head to head against you, and we’ve always gone to war. I don’t need to bring your family into this because this is between you and me. The fact that you don’t see your son is your own damn business, not mine. It’s nice to see that you remembered when I stalked them back in TCW only to have been in the wrong location. I knew you didn’t live there, but I had ya’ sweatin’ balls didn’t I? Remember when I dressed up like Dog the Bounty Hunter and tried to hunt ya’ down brah’? Or back when you and Knoxville decided to go jousting on bikes in Walmart? What about all the jokes and pranks ya’ pulled on Havok? Or me for that matter? By your own words Kash, I’m not the only “clown shoes” of APW, you just hide behind some sort of “cool” exterior where I’m blunt about it. HA no pun intended.

The waiter walks back over with caution.

Waiter: Well sir?

Knuckles: I guess I’ll have a cheese steak sandwich. Extra crispy fries with cheese on them. Oh and so help me that if I find any traces of spit or “anything else” on them, you’ll be wearing it.

Waiter: Of course sir, I’ll make sure it’s the best cheesesteak sandwich we’ve ever put out.

The waiter leaves as Knuckles opens the letter he got moments earlier. It doesn’t have a return address on it but it looks like he recognizes the handwriting.

Dear John,

I know of the HOLY GRAIL you seek and can help you get it. Meet me on the out skirts of town. I’ll be wearin’ a dark robe. Head north from the hotel.
-Sage

It was signed by a name he hasn’t heard since the start of his career. He downed his Donkey Punch and ran off the patio and into the first cab he saw. The cab sped off as the waiter yelled at him from a distance and the scene temporarily fades. (what a waste of good food) The scene comes back as Knuckles finds himself on the out skirts of town in a very open and lonely desert.

Knuckles: When the fuck did I end up in Vegas?

? ? ?: John, I know why you’re here.

Knuckles: Whoa!! Who are you and when did yous’ show up?

? ? ?: It’s me, SAGE! *takes off his hood*

Knuckles: That’s impossible!

Sage: Is it jerky? Is it really all that farfetched that ya’ came all this way for help?

Knuckles is beside himself with who sent him the letter. In front of his very own eyes were a man who he had thought was killed and suddenly, a bridge over a fiery brimstone smelling lava pit appeared in front of him as if some sort of magical spell or a mirage came out of nowhere.

Sage: It’s been 10 long years since we last seen each other John. I’m here to make sure that you know what it is exactly that you want.

Knuckles: What’s that smell?

Sage: Is it brimstone? Or is it lava? Or maybe it’s all the bullshit yous’ created in ya’ life. On the other side of this bridge is the path to your HOLY GRAIL. In order to pass this bridge, ya’ must answer three questions.

Knuckles: ……this isn’t real.

Sage: WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?

Knuckles: I’m Johnathan Michael Sorrentino….

Sage: WHAT IS YA’ QUEST!?

Knuckles: To FINALLY beat Jason Kash and become the APW World Heavyweight Champion.

Sage: WHAT…..is the food cost percentage of the average beverage totaling all three months of the second quarter?

Knuckles: What do you mean? Is this before or after taxes?

Sage: Uh…..i don’t know that….AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

In the blink of an eye, he is thrown up out of his shoes and thrown into the fiery muck below where he disappears with only echoes of his scream remaining. Knuckles looks proud of himself and starts to walk the across the bridge, but quickly finds out that it never existed and falls off a small cliff and down into a puddle of sewage leading out of Las Vegas. Knuckles stands up with this disgusted look on his face as he wipes himself off as best as he can. He looks around and realizes that his acid trip finally wore off.

The letter’s handwriting, the visions of people that he thought were dead. They were nothing more than himself doing these things. “SAGE” was Knuckles old gimmick, back when he started wrestling before he earned his Italian name, “Knuckles”. Sage was the aberration of his past that he needed to get around before moving on. The original before the original so to speak. The letter that he received was from himself in his own handwriting. Now that Knuckles has moved on from his past, he can look towards his future. Hopefully that includes a shower to get rid of the shit he just fell in.

Knuckles: Time to clean myself off and head to Indiana to take my HOLY GRAIL.

Knuckles climbs out of the trench as the scene fades.

Knuckles: I’m really glad ya’ mentioned Dangertainment Kash. The whole purpose of the group wasn’t some shitty logo, it was to show how dangerously entertaining we were. Something that eluded you those three months. Still think I care about offending people? Or did you forget about the “blue waffle” incident? I’m not here to please the fans, or the guys and girls in the back, hell not even the staff. I’m here to do what I gotta’ do to be the best. This is where management looks down on me and looks to favor you in this match. You know the word backstage Jason. Everybody in the back sees you walkin’ away from Rasslemania, title intact. Ya’ think I care what they think? If the powers that be say that Kash will be champ, then whether I pin you or not, Kash will be champ. The odds have always been stacked against me and never once have I cared or complained. I have no problem bein’ the underdog Jason and regardless of how long I ride the coattails of my performance at Survive and Conquer, the only thing that matters to me is beating you 1-2-3.

What’s funny about all this is how you contradict yourself. You talk of doin’ it with your very own two hands, yet you plan on tasing me in the match. What a hippocrite! Anything to keep the title right? You go ahead and bring anything ya’ need, we can go hardcore like old times gladly. I guess ya’ also forgotten how I’ve hustled my whole life too. Think you were the only one Kash? PFT! I was thrown out and abandoned at six, forced to survive by eating out of garbage cans and stealing. As I grew older, I learned to kill or be killed very quickly. So while the “LION” continues to fail at finishin’ off this “Gazelle” over the past six years, the whole world will see how ordinary, predictable, and unoriginal you’ve become. The fans love you but you’ve lost their respect. I’ll be busy crushing your game at Rasslemania Kash and who will it be walking out as the new champ? Who will get the last laugh? “GAZELLE”!!!

You’ve dedicated your life to the game but I’ve dedicated my life to violence. Like a venereal disease, I just keep comin’ back. It’s not how strong ya’ are, it’s about how sick you are and nobody is sicker in APW than me. We will damn sure be at war this Sunday Jason. Because I’m the only one on Asylum that can shut ya’ up, and I did it only by mentioning UWF. Didn’t ya’ notice that? So while ya’ might be willing to die for that title, I’m willin’ to kill for it and very glad that we’re both on the same page. Understand that I’m willing to do ANYTHING it takes to finally beat you Jason. Make the funeral arrangements now because I’m puttin’ your puff puff passin’ ass six feet under. APW will finally get to see Johnny Knuckles vs Jason Kash the way it should be, except this time Jason, you’ll be “KASHED OUT”!!