Post by Mike Morrison on Mar 24, 2012 17:13:21 GMT -4
The camera is switched on. The room looks like a makeshift abattoir. Carcasses are hanging in all places, blood dripping everywhere. Mike walks in wearing a butcher’s apron.
Mike looks at the camera, as if he has just notices it.
“Well, it’s been a crazy week, confessions and Rasslemania around the corner. Also I have been asked what APW meant to me, allow me to also answer what this match means to me.
I think the match that the Martyrs are going to be a part of will be like the ending to a House of 1000 Corpses where, all the norms will be trying to survive from the crazy people, and well no one survives, the so called insane people cut them all up. Basically the Martyrs are rising to the top and no tag team bar us is going to survive, let alone take the belts home with them.
Gentlemen get the idea of taking the belts back with you out of your heads and, just concentrate on getting out there with your scalp.”
Mike pushes through the racks of Meat on the hooks and throws a few punches at them, blood splattering over the floor and walls including himself.
“Give it a rest Studmuffins, you sound like a broken record. We work well as a team, ok maybe change the tune now, here is a quarter there must be other tunes you can play on that jukebox of yours.”
Mike pulls out a quarter and places it on the table.
“The truth is gentlemen, you are running scared. You know we are a force that has a more than even chance of taking what is rightly ours in the first place. Look at the broken bodies we have left in our wake. We are just as good if not a better tag team as you. But then again we don’t go for the squeaky clean image either. You think you can judge us, with that repetitive drivel? Oh no, we are not a force of good, oh woe is me.
The truth is a bitch isn’t it?”
Mike smiles, and looks into the camera with a bit of sincerity, he is trying not to laugh.
“I am glad that we have the bulls eye on our chest, and that we are the main threat to every other tag team there. It means what we are doing is working, how funny it is to watch every other team in this match focus their training on us. Yes we are the threat and it is real, like the recurring nightmare, how when you wake up in cold sweats and heavy breathing, that is how the match is going to end, this nightmare is real.”
“Studmuffins, you will make it easier for yourself when you realize your time has come to an end, and the real rulers are here to take what is theres, call it one dimensional if you wish. I call it fate.
Call us mad men and one dimensional if you feel better for it. After Rasslemania, we will be known as the tag team champions.
Mike turns away from the camera with his back to it. He then speaks again in a more somber tone.
“I mean for all that it is worth, who do we actually have that is going to stop us? The social gangsters, they equate to a silent fart on the APW Richter scale. They are as an efficient tag team as a burst condom, they are as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike, Shall I go on about how useless the Social Gangsters are?”
Mike turns and grins before turning with his back to the camera.
“Of course I will it is so funny, they might as well wear t-shirts saying pick on me. The thing with the social gangsters, is what have they done? They haven’t destroyed opponents and ended careers like The Martyrs of Madness. I myself will take great pleasure in destroying them.
Reginald thinks he is stacking the cards to stop the belts coming home with us. He would have done a better job, if he hired camera man to wrestle, instead of those two. It is indeed insulting to have them in the match, the martyrs would get more of a challenge wrestling mannequins then those two. Enough about those two muppets, before I sound repetitive like the Studmuffins.”
Mike turns round like he has had a brain wave.
“We of course have the Hometown Heroes, they might pose a threat, maybe take the titles in an impressive victory. Yeah and QPR is going to win the UEFA cup next season. That’s a soccer thing for those who don’t get it.
I mean they just don’t take a telling, how much of a kicking do two people need before, they understand that they cannot cut it, how many bones must be broken before, they understand that they are just not good enough?
They are a glutton for punishment really, a little like me. Heh, I bet that pisses them right off, I see it now. When they get asked, what is the highlight of their wrestling career? Their answer can be, well we sucked a lot, but we were classed as a punching bag, we only wish we had Mikes pain threshold, because Rico broke our jaws.
But we had a great time, jobbing around.”
Mike just laughs, he feels that he has got that nailed down.
“Now I have been asked who would we like to get rid of first? Good question, Rico will have his own answer mine is simple. Don’t care who goes first, they are all going to taste the canvas. They are all going to be laid on their backs like a cheap nasty hooker, and we then have what we were destined to have.”
Mike continues, everybody thought his loony ravings were done for one day.
“Everyone knows that we should have taken the match last time, The Social Gangsters and Hometown Heroes, just be happy that you get to witness round 2 of the most phenomenal tag team match, drink it all in and enjoy the moment.
Studmuffins, time is running out, you can sugarcoat it however you wish, but it is destiny for us to take those belts. This gentlemen is going to be brutal like a slasher film, however in this one the psychos are going to win it. You will be lucky to survive.”
The camera switches off.
Mike looks at the camera, as if he has just notices it.
“Well, it’s been a crazy week, confessions and Rasslemania around the corner. Also I have been asked what APW meant to me, allow me to also answer what this match means to me.
I think the match that the Martyrs are going to be a part of will be like the ending to a House of 1000 Corpses where, all the norms will be trying to survive from the crazy people, and well no one survives, the so called insane people cut them all up. Basically the Martyrs are rising to the top and no tag team bar us is going to survive, let alone take the belts home with them.
Gentlemen get the idea of taking the belts back with you out of your heads and, just concentrate on getting out there with your scalp.”
Mike pushes through the racks of Meat on the hooks and throws a few punches at them, blood splattering over the floor and walls including himself.
“Give it a rest Studmuffins, you sound like a broken record. We work well as a team, ok maybe change the tune now, here is a quarter there must be other tunes you can play on that jukebox of yours.”
Mike pulls out a quarter and places it on the table.
“The truth is gentlemen, you are running scared. You know we are a force that has a more than even chance of taking what is rightly ours in the first place. Look at the broken bodies we have left in our wake. We are just as good if not a better tag team as you. But then again we don’t go for the squeaky clean image either. You think you can judge us, with that repetitive drivel? Oh no, we are not a force of good, oh woe is me.
The truth is a bitch isn’t it?”
Mike smiles, and looks into the camera with a bit of sincerity, he is trying not to laugh.
“I am glad that we have the bulls eye on our chest, and that we are the main threat to every other tag team there. It means what we are doing is working, how funny it is to watch every other team in this match focus their training on us. Yes we are the threat and it is real, like the recurring nightmare, how when you wake up in cold sweats and heavy breathing, that is how the match is going to end, this nightmare is real.”
“Studmuffins, you will make it easier for yourself when you realize your time has come to an end, and the real rulers are here to take what is theres, call it one dimensional if you wish. I call it fate.
Call us mad men and one dimensional if you feel better for it. After Rasslemania, we will be known as the tag team champions.
Mike turns away from the camera with his back to it. He then speaks again in a more somber tone.
“I mean for all that it is worth, who do we actually have that is going to stop us? The social gangsters, they equate to a silent fart on the APW Richter scale. They are as an efficient tag team as a burst condom, they are as much use as an ashtray on a motorbike, Shall I go on about how useless the Social Gangsters are?”
Mike turns and grins before turning with his back to the camera.
“Of course I will it is so funny, they might as well wear t-shirts saying pick on me. The thing with the social gangsters, is what have they done? They haven’t destroyed opponents and ended careers like The Martyrs of Madness. I myself will take great pleasure in destroying them.
Reginald thinks he is stacking the cards to stop the belts coming home with us. He would have done a better job, if he hired camera man to wrestle, instead of those two. It is indeed insulting to have them in the match, the martyrs would get more of a challenge wrestling mannequins then those two. Enough about those two muppets, before I sound repetitive like the Studmuffins.”
Mike turns round like he has had a brain wave.
“We of course have the Hometown Heroes, they might pose a threat, maybe take the titles in an impressive victory. Yeah and QPR is going to win the UEFA cup next season. That’s a soccer thing for those who don’t get it.
I mean they just don’t take a telling, how much of a kicking do two people need before, they understand that they cannot cut it, how many bones must be broken before, they understand that they are just not good enough?
They are a glutton for punishment really, a little like me. Heh, I bet that pisses them right off, I see it now. When they get asked, what is the highlight of their wrestling career? Their answer can be, well we sucked a lot, but we were classed as a punching bag, we only wish we had Mikes pain threshold, because Rico broke our jaws.
But we had a great time, jobbing around.”
Mike just laughs, he feels that he has got that nailed down.
“Now I have been asked who would we like to get rid of first? Good question, Rico will have his own answer mine is simple. Don’t care who goes first, they are all going to taste the canvas. They are all going to be laid on their backs like a cheap nasty hooker, and we then have what we were destined to have.”
Mike continues, everybody thought his loony ravings were done for one day.
“Everyone knows that we should have taken the match last time, The Social Gangsters and Hometown Heroes, just be happy that you get to witness round 2 of the most phenomenal tag team match, drink it all in and enjoy the moment.
Studmuffins, time is running out, you can sugarcoat it however you wish, but it is destiny for us to take those belts. This gentlemen is going to be brutal like a slasher film, however in this one the psychos are going to win it. You will be lucky to survive.”
The camera switches off.
