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Post by Reaver on Apr 17, 2012 19:44:16 GMT -4
thoughts? questions? comments?
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Post by Anthony Bailey on Apr 18, 2012 0:04:33 GMT -4
I'm pissed so you definitely got your point across lol. I never really read your RP's before but if you've been putting stuff out like this, I can see why you are a big deal around here.
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Post by Reaver on Apr 18, 2012 1:47:20 GMT -4
 ? am i really? lol thanx |
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Post by Jason Cashe on Apr 18, 2012 1:57:10 GMT -4
News to me..
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Post by Kurt on Apr 18, 2012 23:05:06 GMT -4
I won't give you a full review because I have feedbacked a few of your pieces already, so you pretty much know the general stuff I say, ha. I'll just hit on some major stuff.
I actually preferred this piece your RM piece, ha. It had a quirky, humorous appeal that stayed grounded in realism. Even though they were cut-outs, you related their personalities to Bailey's, which I thought was very unique.
The trash talk also seems more focused than your RM piece. There's a more logical, relevant flow. You also kept the concept of "celebrity status" running through your trash talk, which I very much enjoyed.
Only thing I think can see a bit more improvement is to sell your opponent a bit more. I know as a heel, it's easy to bur opponents, but make sure to give me a reason to care about them, ha. Maybe in like this case, Knuckles would see that Bailey is a celebrity, acknowledges his new popularity, and then makes the point of being the one to violently bring it crashing back down for Kash to see. Just wanted to make this review constructive as well!
I think you've improved. This is arguably the best piece I've read of yours. Even your grammar is better in this piece than normal, ha. Really impressed her. Great job bud!
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? am i really? lol thanx
