WORST Films Ever?

[Kevin Dahlia]

I love myself a good movie. Of any and all genres. Hell, my girlfriend even got me intrigued by some Romantic-Comedies. But my favorite thing about cinema is the ability to critique films, and feel like a smug little critic-ass while doing so, haha. After getting into a heated discussion on a musicform a few days ago, I was just wondering what everyone thinks are the WORST films around (in their opinion, though feel free to debate).

W O R S T Films Ever

1. The Human Centipede
I just... I don't get it. Everyone is constantly fluttering about, talking about how disgusting and terrifying this flick is. The concept itself, is in nature, revolting. But this film is one of the most BORING, sloppiest, tedious & tamed films I've seen in a LONG time. The acting is terrible, with the predominant amount of lines being two girls crying (which is a step up from their earlier dialogue, which is just two girls complaining about everything). The substitution for speaking (as the main character can't quite do that after having their mouths sewn shut on the others buttox) comes from the films antagonist, an "evil" doctor, who speaks broken English, and is sadly the best actor IN the film. Its dry. It has a weak climax. You could cut out about 75 percent of the film, and still get the same story, and this film is anything but scary. The poster/cover is the most petrifying thing about it.

2. Birdemic
Exploding birds take over the world because.... they're going extinct, so they... blow up....? Worst production I've seen in ages, worst acting I've seen in ages. Worst- actually, just watch it. It's unintentionally hilarious.

3. Game Over
A NUCLEAR supercomputer that has the ability to "make Gary Coleman president" and fire nukes all around the world, wants someone to play it. What? The only way to stop it is to win. How? I don't know. The film is lazy, half assed, filled with an abundance of absurdities and plotholes, and? AND it's almost entirely just clips from shitty Sega CD games, spliced together to make a film. Woo!

4. Cannibal Holocaust
L O L.

5. Death Bed: the Bed That Eats
This little number took more than 30 years before it was taken off a shelf somewhere and finally released. And I wish it had stayed on that shelf. Hands down the MOST pretentious piece of "look how artsy we are" films I've ever seen. Riddled with nonsense, dry & boring, and tries SO hard to make it seem like it's a deep movie. Realistically, it's simply as deep as a puddle in the dirt.

6. Curse of the Cannibal Confederates
Ahahahahahahaha AHAHAHA, haha!

7. Final Destination: Series
I could go on all day about the contradictions that are riddled throughout this film (which is literally, the same film with different deaths, each time). It's not scary, because the way people die in these films is SO over-the-top, that it should be slapstick humor. The films use of foreshadowing lacks subtlety in every regard, and the only thing I care about at all in these films are "what is that power? How do they see how they're going to die? Who gave it to them? Why'd they give it to them if they're just going to die? The FUCK is it?" and still I go without any answers.

8. Final Fantasy: Advent Children
I'm actually upset that I'm putting this on here, but I feel it belongs. While the animation style to the film is BREATHTAKING in every regard, and substantially evolutionary/progressive in anime, and all forms of animation, the rest of the film doesn't hold up. It's a film you won't "get" unless you've played the correlating game (FF7), akin to that new "Tekken Blood Vengeance" film. And while it's not as hard to understand without playing the game, unlike that new Tekken film, the story still is a bit baffling at times. Characters get introduced at a HIGH rate. Nothing is ever really explained. The entire story seems extremely rushed, trying to fit itself into it's runtime in an almost unnatural manner. But my biggest gripe is the voice acting. Maybe it's just the North American release, but MY GOD, what terrible terrible voice acting.

9. Hostel I-III
My God. Just.... geh.

10. Thankskilling
The antagonist is a smart-mouthed, raping, bloodsport.... Turkey. Yep. A turkey is killing everyone.

[Pepsi]

1. From Justin To Kelly
Yes I am Terribly ashamed to admit I watched this. It was terrible, and pointless. One of the worst acted movies in history.

2. The Severed Arm
In the year 1999 my brother, my best friend and I went through a phase where we rented a bunch of b grade horror movies from the 70's, 80's and 90's. We found some gems like Slumber Party Massacre 2 (The funniest movie I have seen in my life), but this one was just plain boring.

3. C.H.U.D. (Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers)
With a name like that we expected this to be hillarious right? Wrong. It was so boring. It did however produce a funny moment where this guy was trying to be intimidating to another guy so he hung up the pay phone the other guy was on, stole the quarter and ate it. Great moment, horrible movie.

4. The Blair Witch Project 2: Book Of Shadows
Horrible, horrible movie. My brother and I saw it in the theater and spent the whole time heckling the movie. I think we provided more entertainment than the movie. We had half the theater laughing at a movie that was meant to be scary. After the movie we took a survey of how many people thought the movie sucked. Survey said, it sucked.

5. Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked
My 3 year old daughter loved the first two movies. My wife and I like to prewatch movies before she sees them just to make sure there isn't anything we don't want her to see. We regretted watching it. It was horrible. The jokes were lame and unfunny, the plot defied any logic whatsoever, and the actors involved appeared to be embarrassed to be a part of it.

6. Shriek Of The Mutilated
Part of the aforementioned horror movie kick. It was about a bunch of college students searching for the Yetti on some fictional island that strongly resembled Upstate New York. Again, I expected funny, but instead got boring. The terrible 70's fashion in the movie was almost painful to watch. It had a great soundtrack though. The song Popcorn was stuck in my head for weeks to follow.

7. The Killer Eye
Another one from the horror movie marathon. This one was about a science experiment on a homeless man's eyeball that went wrong. The eye grows into a giant eyeball that has sex with women and impregnates them. Just bizarre.

8. Punisher: War Zone
This was just stupid. Horrible sequel to a good movie. It was way too cartoony, and not in a good way. Terribly over-acted as well.

9. Paradise Alley
I was a huge Stallone fan when I was a kid, and I still love some of his movies, but this one was just plain boring. It was a desperate attempt at making a cross between Rocky and On The Waterfront. It failed miserably.

10. Demented Death Farm Massacre
Yet another b grade horror. The name promised great comedic potential, but instead all that was produced was boredom.

[Michael Callahan]

Thank you for playing. I believe that's all.

[Kurt]

</end topic>

[Kevin Dahlia]

Damn! I completely forgot about The Room & Blair Witch II.

[Delikado]

Tinker Tailor Solider Spy

I wanted to like it. Honestly I did, but it was just SO. FREAKING. BORING. I got lost about halfway through, and even after I kinda caught up at a later point, it still all felt vague to me. And I'm not some idiot who needs explosions and shit to be entertained by a movie--I love a good, complex story. This just felt like a giant mess. From the trailer and initial synopsis, it even sounded like a movie I should have liked to some degree, and Gary Oldman is always awesome...but it was not to be. They say reading the book it's based on helps and everything, but I still feel that's no excuse for the movie being like it was. Hearing it get praise later on was just astounding to me.

[Jules]

I was subjected to Nude Nuns With Big Guns the other day.

[[ManiC]]

I. Donnie Darko

Knowing Brett will hate me for this, but DD is the worst film I've seen. There isn't a single thing about it that I actually enjoyed. The concept, the acting, the "humour", none of these appealed to me. Some of my favourite films are American Psycho, Eraserhead and Memento and yet Donnie Darko didn't entertain me on any level.

II. I Am Legend

This is pretty much the most boring film I've seen. I don't see the appeal at all.

III. The Room

"The Citizen Kane of Bad Movies". This only gets props for "I didn't hit her, I did not! Oh hai Mark." for some reason making me laugh.

IV. "Found Footage Films"

Paranormal Activity, Blair Witch Project, Apollo 13, Cloverfield - All of these movies were terrible. There's no suspense in any of them and no connection is made with the characters. I saw Cloverfield in the cinema and upon ending one voice at the back shouted "Well that was shit." Everyone in the cinema cheered when that man said that.

V. Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

Genuinely looks like it was made using Windows Movie Maker, and is responsible for the great pick up line of "So, eh, let's go to your place so I can eat your pussy." this is pretty much utter shite. The only reason it's so low on the list is it didn't have the funding of any of the others and pretty much acknowledges how terrible it is.

VI. Black Swan

Lesbians don't make a movie good. Every thing about this film made me hate people more than I already do.

[C.J. Gates]

May 25, 2012 18:27:16 GMT -4 [ManiC] said:

I. Donnie Darko

Knowing Brett will hate me for this, but DD is the worst film I've seen. There isn't a single thing about it that I actually enjoyed. The concept, the acting, the "humour", none of these appealed to me. Some of my favourite films are American Psycho, Eraserhead and Memento and yet Donnie Darko didn't entertain me on any level.

Will definitely agree with you on this one. American Psycho and Memento rank as two of my favourites, as well, and when I saw Donnie Darko...Well, I didn't hate it and think it was shit, but the person I saw it with was building it up to be awesome and then...it fell short of that. Haven't seen it since.

From what I've seen recently:

Shadow of Fear - Sounded kind of good so gave it a try and felt bored watching it. Nothing grabbed me about it, and the only saving point of it was the ending...mainly because it was over. It just seemed so boring and slow and just...nothing good about it. Everyone I watched it with said the same thing lol.

[[ManiC]]

May 27, 2012 15:31:12 GMT -4 C.J. Gates said:

May 25, 2012 18:27:16 GMT -4 [ManiC] said:

I. Donnie Darko

Knowing Brett will hate me for this, but DD is the worst film I've seen. There isn't a single thing about it that I actually enjoyed. The concept, the acting, the "humour", none of these appealed to me. Some of my favourite films are American Psycho, Eraserhead and Memento and yet Donnie Darko didn't entertain me on any level.

Will definitely agree with you on this one. American Psycho and Memento rank as two of my favourites, as well, and when I saw Donnie Darko...Well, I didn't hate it and think it was shit, but the person I saw it with was building it up to be awesome and then...it fell short of that. Haven't seen it since.

Think this may have been my problem. Brett built it up so much, quite a few of my friends list it amongst their favourite films and then when I watched it, it just wasn't any good. It was a huge disappointment, which is probably why I'm so hostile towards it.

[goodburn]

I try to make it a habbit to not watch crappy movies, so I only have a top 5 list of the worst movies I have ever watched. There are a few TERRIBLE ones. 5 is the least worst, 1 is the ultimate worst.

5. Miracle on 51st Street (1994 Version)

Didn't know there was a re-make? Neither did I until I saw that it was free on Amazon Instant Video. Do you want to know why it's free? Because you can't charge people to watch a re-made movie of a pure Christmas classic! Want to know how Santa got out of jail this time? Because our American dollar bill says, "In God We Trust" and according to the judge, believing in Santa is a form of religion, and a man who claims to be Santa is not insane. So yeah, I can claim to be a God and not be insane. That's nice to know.

4. Jingle All The Way
Yet another Christmas movie. I was little when I first saw this, and even then, I hated it. The main kid in the movie, I hate him. Why did he have an english accent? neither of his parents were from England, but yet he sounds as if he's been living in England all of his life. It made no sense to me at all. Poor directing on that part.

3. Precious
I'm impressed that the star of Precious was also able to star in The Blind Side as the football player, two hit movies the same year!

2. Mac and Me
It's an ET rip off, which also includes this scene.


1. Left Behind: THE MOVIE!
Want to know what's worse than the last few Left Behind books? The movies. You think The Hunger Games fans were mad over the slight changes in the movie adaptation, you should see what they changed in the movies for Left Behind! Hunger Games had probably 3 changes, Left Behind movies probably had HUNDREDS of changes! Not to mention that the studio for the movie had a budget of $5.00 to make an end of the earth movie. Which made it look like they used paper air planes for jet bombers. Screw you Kirk Cameron, Buck was not a news reporter, he was a journalist!

[Johnny Rebel]

My roommate in college was Tim LaHaye's grandson, who helped write some of the Left Behind books, and he was disgusted at the changes. I enjoyed the books for the most part but the movie itself was absolutely terrible.

[Pepsi]

Man, the third Left Behind movie was so bad. I wasn't crazy about the first two, but the third was just absolutely dreadful. I might just have to amend my list to include that piece of trash.

[goodburn]

May 29, 2012 17:17:15 GMT -4 Pepsi said:

Man, the third Left Behind movie was so bad. I wasn't crazy about the first two, but the third was just absolutely dreadful. I might just have to amend my list to include that piece of trash.

I figured the other two movies were probably worse, but after seeing the first Left Behind movie, I had no intention on seeing the sequels.

I mean, you talk about a movie that just right away, starts changing things without a moments notice, you see Buck with a camera crew, and then see Rayford having a romantic relationship with Hattie, and then Buck who already knew Hattie and found her a job for the UN... Damn you! You changed everything in the book and we're not even five minutes into the movie!!!! Want to know how terrible those movies were? The authors of the books sued the studio who made the movies, that's how bad it is!

[SalTal]

May 25, 2012 18:27:16 GMT -4 [ManiC] said:

I. Donnie Darko

Leave, now.

May 27, 2012 15:31:12 GMT -4 C.J. Gates said:

May 25, 2012 18:27:16 GMT -4 [ManiC] said:

I. Donnie Darko

Knowing Brett will hate me for this, but DD is the worst film I've seen. There isn't a single thing about it that I actually enjoyed. The concept, the acting, the "humour", none of these appealed to me. Some of my favourite films are American Psycho, Eraserhead and Memento and yet Donnie Darko didn't entertain me on any level.

Will definitely agree with you on this one. American Psycho and Memento rank as two of my favourites, as well, and when I saw Donnie Darko...Well, I didn't hate it and think it was shit, but the person I saw it with was building it up to be awesome and then...it fell short of that. Haven't seen it since.

You too.

[Michael Callahan]

May 30, 2012 8:38:05 GMT -4 SalTal said:

May 25, 2012 18:27:16 GMT -4 [ManiC] said:

I. Donnie Darko

Leave, now.



Will definitely agree with you on this one. American Psycho and Memento rank as two of my favourites, as well, and when I saw Donnie Darko...Well, I didn't hate it and think it was shit, but the person I saw it with was building it up to be awesome and then...it fell short of that. Haven't seen it since.

You too.[/quote]

Sorry Sally but I'm going to have to back these fine gentlemen up. I'm not a huge fan of Donnie Darko either. Donnie's chemistry with Elizabeth Darko is great but that might be because they're related in real life?

Iunno.

[A.C. Smith]

Pretty sure any conversation about the worst movies of all-time starts (and probably ends) with "Plan Nine from Outer Space." Bear in mind that this was supposed to be a SERIOUS sci-fi flick.



Of course, the irony is that the movie about the guy that MADE Plan Nine, "Ed Wood," won an Oscar. Funny how things work out.

[T-Marv]

WTF is up with all this Darko Hate?

Oh... I get it... you guys must have failed to open your eyes when watching the movie.

This explains everything now.

[T-Marv]

As for Black Swan....

1. YES Lesbians DO make a movie good....especially smoking hot ones such as those two. For reference....see mulholland drive.

2. Natalie Portman acted her perfectly shaped ASS off in that movie. If you were standing next to her you could reach out and touch the emotion emulating off of her. The plot was fantastic, the directing top of the line. If you didn't get goosebumps while watching it, then you are an emotional robot. IMO.

There are a LOT of movies on these lists that I will hands down agree with...but this one on here is just ludicrious.

[Reaver]

wats wrong with mac and me? ITS A CLASSIC!!

thats like saying killer clown from outer space or attack of the killer tomatoes were bad. they may have been cheesy but certainly entertaining

[[ManiC]]

May 30, 2012 17:19:02 GMT -4 T-Marv said:

As for Black Swan....

1. YES Lesbians DO make a movie good....especially smoking hot ones such as those two. For reference....see mulholland drive.

2. Natalie Portman acted her perfectly shaped ASS off in that movie. If you were standing next to her you could reach out and touch the emotion emulating off of her. The plot was fantastic, the directing top of the line. If you didn't get goosebumps while watching it, then you are an emotional robot. IMO.

There are a LOT of movies on these lists that I will hands down agree with...but this one on here is just ludicrious.

Many people who know me probably would agree on the "emotionless robot" (I'm guessing emotional was a typo, otherwise I'm confused) analogy to be fair. However, I will explain my opinion on the film.

Black Swan isn’t my cup of tea as it's full of ridiculously exaggerated dance myths based around the Swan Lake ballet. Though this isn't my main gripe with the film. My main problem is that the plot is absurdly poor. A ballerina (and she is the best ballerina in the company) is perfectly suited for the white swan, but not black - purely because of her own inhibitions and not her dancing prowess. Ballet is not a play so if one doesn't suit the role's character it doesn't matter as long as one can dance well enough. The director also assumes that the audience is stupid. I have a dislike of psychological thrillers that try too hard to show the flaws and problems of the characters. It's too glaringly obvious that Portman's character is a little bit insecure and likely schizophrenic. My friend does ballet and it is far too strict to allow the alter-ego/Black Swan to be real (which kind of ruins the premise of the film).
I hate when directors use (over the top) hallucinations to confirm the mental instability/breakdown of characters. It's far too clichéd and not all mental instabilities include hallucinations.

I also found Portman's character flat and stale. I don't know why I did, I assume it's because different people connect with different things and the character that Portman portrayed just wasn't something that I could connect with.

Finally; good acting making for a good film is confusing necessary and sufficient conditions. It may be necessary for acting to be good for a film to be considered good, but it certainly is not sufficient enough reason, more is most certainly required.

Also, me having a different opinion to your own does not warrant dismissal of my views as "ludicrous", nor does it make me an emotionless robot. Take for example The Phantom of the Opera. I genuinely feel sorry for the Phantom towards the end of the story, and yet many people who have seen the film/show don't. I just don't happen to like this particular film.

/being an arsehole.

EDIT: I'm genuinely not trying to be a prick/start anything here. I just have a pet peeve of when people dismiss other's opinions based purely on them being different to their own.

[goodburn]

May 30, 2012 17:34:18 GMT -4 Reaver said:

wats wrong with mac and me? ITS A CLASSIC!!

thats like saying killer clown from outer space or attack of the killer tomatoes were bad. they may have been cheesy but certainly entertaining

Did you not see the video I posted? It reminds me of a line from Not Another Teen Movie, "Isn't it amazing how everyone in school are professional dancers?"

[T-Marv]

EDIT: I have removed this comment in the hopes of not starting an OOC fight....and because I was a bit of an asshole.

Not a lot of things I say should be taken seriously or personally....including calling you an emotional robot. And yes I meant Emotional....as in having the emotions of a... THat was a bit of a joke and exaggeration...not a personal attack

There was no dismissing of any sort. In my opinion... your list is ludicrous.... I am still allowed to give my opinion right? It is still legal in this country to disagree with somebody?

You are entitled to your opinion as I am entitled to mine. No need to attack me for critism.

Also... just because you don't LIKE a movie and the nature of it didn't appeal to you, does not make it TERRIBLE or One of the worst ever made... In my opinion

[goodburn]

Just to add to the Black Swan debate, I never saw the movie, but that is on purpose because of a disturbing clip that made it so I couldn't get an erection for the rest of the day. In which Natalie Portman is in her bed masturbating.

That's not the part that killed my Aggressor for the day, it did the opposite.

But then the camera panned over, and her mom was watching her, with a rather pleased look on her face. End of clip.

For that scene, I think that warrents it to be on people's worst movie list.

[T-Marv]

May 30, 2012 19:09:28 GMT -4 goodburn said:

Just to add to the Black Swan debate, I never saw the movie, but that is on purpose because of a disturbing clip that made it so I couldn't get an erection for the rest of the day. In which Natalie Portman is in her bed masturbating.

That's not the part that killed my Aggressor for the day, it did the opposite.

But then the camera panned over, and her mom was watching her, with a rather pleased look on her face. End of clip.

For that scene, I think that warrents it to be on people's worst movie list.

LMAO! If your criteria for a bad movie includes things that kill your erection, then I'm gonna need a bigger list.

[goodburn]

May 30, 2012 19:16:21 GMT -4 T-Marv said:

May 30, 2012 19:09:28 GMT -4 goodburn said:

Just to add to the Black Swan debate, I never saw the movie, but that is on purpose because of a disturbing clip that made it so I couldn't get an erection for the rest of the day. In which Natalie Portman is in her bed masturbating.

That's not the part that killed my Aggressor for the day, it did the opposite.

But then the camera panned over, and her mom was watching her, with a rather pleased look on her face. End of clip.

For that scene, I think that warrents it to be on people's worst movie list.

LMAO! If your criteria for a bad movie includes things that kill your erection, then I'm gonna need a bigger list.

So, every Whoopie Goldberg movie? Gosh, Ghost would make that a complicated movie... One minutes you have Demi Moore being hot as ever, and then you see Whoopie Goldberg making out with her...

Erection is confused...

[T-Marv]

See above argument about Lesbians making a good movie.

[Jason Cashe]

8. Final Fantasy: Advent Children
I'm actually upset that I'm putting this on here, but I feel it belongs. While the animation style to the film is BREATHTAKING in every regard, and substantially evolutionary/progressive in anime, and all forms of animation, the rest of the film doesn't hold up. It's a film you won't "get" unless you've played the correlating game (FF7), akin to that new "Tekken Blood Vengeance" film. And while it's not as hard to understand without playing the game, unlike that new Tekken film, the story still is a bit baffling at times. Characters get introduced at a HIGH rate. Nothing is ever really explained. The entire story seems extremely rushed, trying to fit itself into it's runtime in an almost unnatural manner. But my biggest gripe is the voice acting. Maybe it's just the North American release, but MY GOD, what terrible terrible voice acting.

NOT true at all. My fiance has never touched a FF game and she has watched this more than I have. I think the Graphics are appealing and they should do more from different older games, give us something to update us on how things from the worlds went after the games. Kind of cool movie, voice acting isn't a big thing to me. I Download movies where the audio is off like it's an old Kung Fu movie.

My List though? Not in any order...

1. Dark Man
- Much younger Liam Neeson in a kind of Two Face/Super Hero role. Feels far too much like a Batman rip off with a weak twist. Love the dude who plays the villian but he's got a movie on this list too. Waste of time though.

2. Dr. Giggles
- A "Horror" movie in the early 90s when Horror was taking a place on the back burner. Larry Drake plays the son of a Doctor who was killing patients and trying to use their hearts to replace his wife's dying heart. The son grows up mentally fucked and breaks out the Hospital and goes on a killing spree. Holly Marie Combs from the TV Show Charmed plays in this as the lead chick. I love this movie even though it sucks.

3. Halloween 2 (Remake)
- I to this day want to kick Rob Zombie in his man parts for this movie. I liked part one of the remakes enough, few things I didn't like. He didn't need to come from a Poor Family or Broken Family because that doesn't make it a stand out thing in a normal neighborhood. However part two almost made me wanna hire a hitman to snipe Zombie and his bitch wife. Him having Michael Myers TALK? AND see his Mother? I Loved Tyler Mane the big Michael Myers but this movie will always be a hated release to me. He is my favorite Serial Killer in Movies so I still come close to tears wanting my own revenge for this. I'd rather watch Halloween 3 of the original series and it didn't have Myers it in PERIOD...Hate that movie too but I won't list it.

4. Water Horse
- Just a let down to me. I had high hopes for this flick and it turned out to be a weak version of Free Willy. Lame.

I can't think of anymore right now cause I have music on the Youtube playing and a pipe burning crispy. Although if anyone names "The Strangers" on this list, we going to verbal blows cause that's more realistic Horror and I KNOW it's more frightening than people give it credit. Now saying the movie was scary but it was done with a great feel of realism to it and you'd be scared, fuck you if you say otherwise. I've done B&E and I know the fear that people have when you're taking over inside of their own home. That is all...

[Jason Cashe]

Oh and I never even got an Hour into Black Swan...SNORE...

[SalTal]

I think any list of good/bad movies always needs a caveat. You have, obviously, movies that are regarded as significant contributions to cinema that people find bad. Then you have movies that aren't in that league of film and, as a result, don't really qualify as bad because they're not really that good in the first place.

No that doesn't really make sense, do here's my contribution to films I genuinely believe are horrible:
- The Godfather 3
- Plan 9 From Outer Space (falls into that latter category)
- That Tom Green film
- Independence Day
- Full Metal Jacket
- Any Star Wars prequel
- The Day After Tomorrow
- Contact
- Just about every Tom Hanks, Russell Crowe, and Tom Cruise film